The Art of Slimming

Be careful what u wish for. During my schooling days, I was so thin others called me a stick. I ate and I ate, but not an ounce of fat could grow on me. Fairy God-mother, please let me grow fatter..please please!!! 10 years down the road --> GOD why am I so darn fat!?! What is this spare tires doing round my tummy?! Why did Levi's not know woman have big backside?!! What is all tht extra meat around my arms??? I should have shut my mouth 10 years ago and stop wishing for stupid things. *sob*sob*

Dun u agree it's easy to gain weight, but almost impossible to lose it? It's no fun if u have a body like mine where all extra fat goes to the face, buttocks, thighs, tummy and arms (in that order). Even less fun if u have friends like mine who's comment everytime they meet me is "U seem to have put on weight" or "Ur face gone rounder". O, friends can be such tormentors :-P

Let me tell u there is no short cut to slimming. Slimming centres? Forget them. The one I went to used some machine tht supposingly beat up the fat inside u and break it up. Then put some padding with electrods to "tone" up. Yeah I was beaten up alright. My arms and thighs were filled with big big bruises. The worst form of torture was slapping cold seamask all over ur body and leaving u to freeze to death with the air-cond and fan full blast at u. Seems tht was supposed to trigger ur body to burn up fat to keep oneself warm. Crap. Crap. Crap. I ended up 2K poorer and not an inch less.

Dieting? Forget it. Leave u half dead, with craving to eat even more ...and o..(*gasp*), a reduction in breast size! And sometimes u will "see" chicken drumstick, nasi lemak, hokkien mee, etc...flying around u. Yeah , dieting increases the power of hallucination.

Going to the gym? Never tried tht. My question is how long will I stick with the schedule? And the more important one...why Fitness First so look down on puchong and not open a branch here? Huh? Huh? You think we're not rich enough meh???

Now my latest slimming technique is a real tough military regime. It consist of slimming pills, slimming tea, low-carb diet, jogging and swimming. I don't know which is more tiring - the exercise or having to constantly go to toilet because of the slimming pill/tea. But what I do know is I miss my nasi lemaks and roti canai very very much!!!! And I just found another thing to add to tht list. DURIAN!!! How can the king of fruit be fattening??!! Darn it. Anyway, glad to say this tough regime has caused me to lose 1kg in about a month. If I don't die by next month, maybe I'll let u know how much more I lose :)

I guess I finally realised that you cannot slim down by torturing oneself, but rather you should enjoy the way to slim down. Some people love their gym (not sure it's the exercise or the hot chicks/dudes around *suspicious*), while I found out that I actually do enjoy how relaxed swimming makes me feel , and how enjoyable it is to jog around my park. It sure is a great way to let go of work issues that built up during
the day. Ok I dun enjoy the emptying bowels part but I paid lots of money for tht so I have to take it!!
Moral of the story : Don't be conned by slimming centres. Their models were already originally thin and sexy women. Don't look at the mirror too much coz it encourages self-indulgence and mental problem related to body/face mass. Don't go to a gym just cause everyone else is doing it - check out there's leng chai/ leng lui there be4 joining coz they will be ur best form of motivation ;) And lastly, don't believe in that crap that smoking helps u to slim down, coz I seen plenty of smoker who are fat :-p

Live a healthy life, but everything taken to be in moderation.