HotBods

Today LL was a bad girl. She watched a movie, and then said one bad word to me. There I was concentrating very hard on my work (*to my boss in case u're reading this* - I work very very hard. I do not chat, I do not surf and I do not daydream)

Anyway, that really really bad word she said to me was - BODY.
Gosh, does this girl not know I am now in sexual seclusion?? Why tempt me with such a word. Arrghhh...

The word BODY conjures up many images in my head. Heck,it's like saying FOOD to someone who is fasting/ dieting. So anyway I was mentioning to LL why is it that I don't meet any man with great 6-pack body? Would be awesome to touch a firm piece of body with muscle. Won't it? But not too muscular either coz tht is a bit too scary for me. Then it will be like touching a rock. Ever notice how those muscle man have really big "breast". Hmm, think their breast is even bigger than mine (adoi!).

Fat body is good, coz I touched MC before. Haha...not in a sexual way OK! Merely touch. Thin body is so-so...sometimes the bones hurts but at least I can circle my delicate small arms around the body. Medium body has the best of both world - meaty enough for comfort, and not too fatty to suffocate my small (*ahem*) frame. But muscular...hmm, really gotta try that one day. One more reason to go to the gym :D

"Excuse me, can I just like touch your muscular body sir?! I promise I will only touch and not lick" Muahahaha. Good pick-up line huh?

Shown in this article are a sample pic of muscular body with big breast (hoho..it is big!) and my ideal body (not really muscular but still has some little "mouse" ..sigh~~ Daniel or daniel.. For you ANYTIME ..*dizzy*

World News From Paul

World News Today
I like to think i am a very knowledgeble person. I listen to the radio (ok, mostly music), watch television (and while zapping sometimes even manage to catch some news)and read newspaper (for some reason my mother has a subscription). While sucking in all that information sometimes i come across information that should be shared with other people.Of course you don't have an invasion of Iraq everyday nor do you see the berlin wall crumbling all the time. Anyway, i have tried my best to gather interesting stories.
Here is a short selection of the news of the past 24 hours i came across :-D:

• There is a german plastic surgeon who send out a warning that it's not good for women to participate in beach volleyball. It seems beach volleyball is rather popular in Germany. Lot's of girls like to jump around in bikini or even topless so they say (and i am sure there will be lot's of guys in the audience ;-). Now the problem the surgeon describes is that because of all thejumping up and down, the breasts can start sagging. It seems not just a problem for women with larger breasts but even for thosewith more modest cupsizes. So ladies .. beware. Actually according to this report, guys are also at risk. Their private parts also should not be hopping around too much.
• Another item says that again in germany (they have some interesting ideas there) a guy at the university of Frankfurt has identified the areain the brain that controls the male penis. For almost a 100 years there has been a debate going on (i have to admit i missed it completely)about what part of the brain controls the penis. Finally this guy from Germany got together a small group of volunteers. He then did the following experiment. He stuffed the volunteerd (all guys of course) in an MRI scanner and then tickled bits of their bodies with a feather while keeping his eyes firmly fixed on the brain activity monitor of course. The report states that every man's penis (when properlytickled) was represented in the same place, flanked by the areas for the toes and abdomen. This guy stated on a meeting in Toronto:"The only depressing thing is that the representation is very small." Now the big question is .. how would tickling a women's body parts show up on an MRI scan. There is no report of that. There is a bit of fear however that it would resemble the 4th of july fireworks display :-). Ah well,maybe we should just conclude that the man's penis is out of control ;-).

There was some more news about flooding, war and all that, but unfortunately no more time already. Happy reading !

The Perfect Man?

This is how a guy should be (no pressure but anything less means you're a useless guy) :-p

When fetching a lady, you cannot be late, cannot reach before expected time and once you reach, be gentle and wait, when she finally appears slowly, steadily, tell her that it's all fine for the wait and tell her that she is gorgeous...

Now, I did not come up with that teory ok. It came from a man's mouth himself. And I think it's wonderful thought indeed. Perfect guy? ;)

Paul and his naked Bitch Kyra

Crazy Memories

Tell me who has never done any silly thing in this world? Of course with me, I'm especially prone to doing them. If u have never been silly then u really need to lighten up a bit dude. Maybe u need to hang out more with me and take away the silliness from me *wink*wink* - provided u are leng chai or u have leng chai friends...muahahaha. Ok I'm not really so gila lelaki..just a tiny weeny bit now that I am sooooo single and available.

Anyway, let's start from when I was really young. When in Kindergarden, I was made to perform some Waltz dancing for a concert performance, and they made me partner this guy who was err..dark skin (OK OK, I was a racist then but no more!!!). Don't ask me how I learnt to do this but I very naively wrote in my small kid handwriting a letter to my class teacher. I was pretending to be my mum and informing the teacher that I will not allow my kid to dance with a guy. Hmm, think I was not too bright at that time either. So what happens next? Of course mum got called up to meet the teacher and that was the 1st time I felt rotan on my backside *ouch*ouch*

As if I did not learn from that, I went on to become a corrupted student. In Std 2, I forgot to do my homework, and tried to pay off my teacher to forget about it. I still wasn't too bright then coz what insane teacher would accept a RM1 bribe!?!! Once again my mum was called to meet the school principal and I was left with another rotan mark on my gloriously smooth backside. Umm, I think my mum was really worried then I would grow up to be some mafia :D

Fortunately I breeze thru the rest of my school days being less silly....until I met a bunch of sillier friends. In my 1st year of work cum travel, me and Lelean went on a weekend escape to Paris to meet up with Paul. Being typical "poor" Malaysian, we decided to save on the lodging money. Thinking it's summer, should not be a problem to sleep out on the street. (shit, sounds like some homeless beggar). So happily we sat ourselves down near the Seine River as night falls. Only 2 word sticks to my head till this day - FUCKING FREEZING! We were sooo cold and no place to hide and silly Paul kept insisting I put my head on his lap to keep warm. What on ur lap is so warm may I ask Paul??? So anyway...take it from me. Summer is winter during the nights!

My next silly thing (and also LL's..keke) happened at Paul's house too. Hmm, does tht mean Paul = silly? (lalalalalala) It was Christmas time and there was a whole gang of us there. Paul had bought a bottle of champagne, and plenty of wine and beer. And someone had some marijuana incense? or was it Kama sutra incense? Some bad incense lar. So we started with a champagne toast. Bottoms up mind u. And subsequently I have no idea how much we drank. All I can recall is this MC and Paul with their evil laugh happily pouring wine and beers into all our glasses. (Now Paul informing it was actually Boo..now how could Boo have been tht evil??!! Whack u Paul!!) Soon u have conversations like "Seeeeeee...I can walk in straight line", "Paul, pleeease dun kill me, I can be useful", "I wanna sleep", "Why u look so blurr", "MC, pleassee...more more!". How did this end? With LL and my head halfway in the toilet bowl trying to puke imaginary stuff out! And silly MC trying to take photos of us. No wait..not trying...he did catch pics of us!

Hmm, I got lots more silly things but unfortunately work has spoilt all my mood at the moment. So would be great if someone would cheer me up with more of their silly stories.

And the great COP speaks.....

Obsession

Come on... let's admit it. How many of us go through life without at least once being obsessed by some actors or actresses (Those guys who trying to play cool and say NEVER! ya right. Remember Angelina Jolie in that tight leather costume? Ewww... clean up your saliva.)

I do admit, for me it is more than once. It is countless. (And I score well in Maths!). It started with boy band followed by actor then solo singer then some drama series then now actor then... argh where was I?

Oh ya... obsession is very dangerous. How I know? I watched a drama that took my weekend away. Watching from 4pm to 4am. Continue that again from 8pm - 12pm. Yeap. (30 episodes altogether) And if you think I am bad, there is another friend I heard until 8am the next morning :-P

We also changed our obsession as fast as we change clothes. You hear it right. It was NKOTB, Takeshi Kaneshiro then Daniel Wu, Justin Timberlake, Jang Dong Gun, Edison Chen, Takuya Kimura, Jude Law ... :- ok ok better stop here.

So you see, because of technology, the list is more international ;-) *sigh* I can tell you, really need lots of time and energy. But why we do it? I don't know... it just happen. :-S Not like you have warning before-hand. My only hope is.... it get mellow with age. Does it? I read so many articles it will not :-S. I need hope here.

Chance or Choice

There's an interesting article up in Jason's blog called Chance or Choice.
http://foxhole.pugsquad.com/

After reading it, I realise I have many chances and made all the wrong choices. As the quote said 'Fate brings you together, but it's still up to you to make it happen'. Shame to those who never put an effort into making it happen and giving up at the slightest problem. But then, dun be stupid also and keep trying to make it happen when all u are hitting is against a donkey wall ..haha.

And the best quote as yet --> We came to the world not by finding someone perfect to love… BUT to learn how to love an imperfect person perfectly…

May God bless the person who has to love me *giggle*giggle*

The Art of Slimming

Be careful what u wish for. During my schooling days, I was so thin others called me a stick. I ate and I ate, but not an ounce of fat could grow on me. Fairy God-mother, please let me grow fatter..please please!!! 10 years down the road --> GOD why am I so darn fat!?! What is this spare tires doing round my tummy?! Why did Levi's not know woman have big backside?!! What is all tht extra meat around my arms??? I should have shut my mouth 10 years ago and stop wishing for stupid things. *sob*sob*

Dun u agree it's easy to gain weight, but almost impossible to lose it? It's no fun if u have a body like mine where all extra fat goes to the face, buttocks, thighs, tummy and arms (in that order). Even less fun if u have friends like mine who's comment everytime they meet me is "U seem to have put on weight" or "Ur face gone rounder". O, friends can be such tormentors :-P

Let me tell u there is no short cut to slimming. Slimming centres? Forget them. The one I went to used some machine tht supposingly beat up the fat inside u and break it up. Then put some padding with electrods to "tone" up. Yeah I was beaten up alright. My arms and thighs were filled with big big bruises. The worst form of torture was slapping cold seamask all over ur body and leaving u to freeze to death with the air-cond and fan full blast at u. Seems tht was supposed to trigger ur body to burn up fat to keep oneself warm. Crap. Crap. Crap. I ended up 2K poorer and not an inch less.

Dieting? Forget it. Leave u half dead, with craving to eat even more ...and o..(*gasp*), a reduction in breast size! And sometimes u will "see" chicken drumstick, nasi lemak, hokkien mee, etc...flying around u. Yeah , dieting increases the power of hallucination.

Going to the gym? Never tried tht. My question is how long will I stick with the schedule? And the more important one...why Fitness First so look down on puchong and not open a branch here? Huh? Huh? You think we're not rich enough meh???

Now my latest slimming technique is a real tough military regime. It consist of slimming pills, slimming tea, low-carb diet, jogging and swimming. I don't know which is more tiring - the exercise or having to constantly go to toilet because of the slimming pill/tea. But what I do know is I miss my nasi lemaks and roti canai very very much!!!! And I just found another thing to add to tht list. DURIAN!!! How can the king of fruit be fattening??!! Darn it. Anyway, glad to say this tough regime has caused me to lose 1kg in about a month. If I don't die by next month, maybe I'll let u know how much more I lose :)

I guess I finally realised that you cannot slim down by torturing oneself, but rather you should enjoy the way to slim down. Some people love their gym (not sure it's the exercise or the hot chicks/dudes around *suspicious*), while I found out that I actually do enjoy how relaxed swimming makes me feel , and how enjoyable it is to jog around my park. It sure is a great way to let go of work issues that built up during
the day. Ok I dun enjoy the emptying bowels part but I paid lots of money for tht so I have to take it!!
Moral of the story : Don't be conned by slimming centres. Their models were already originally thin and sexy women. Don't look at the mirror too much coz it encourages self-indulgence and mental problem related to body/face mass. Don't go to a gym just cause everyone else is doing it - check out there's leng chai/ leng lui there be4 joining coz they will be ur best form of motivation ;) And lastly, don't believe in that crap that smoking helps u to slim down, coz I seen plenty of smoker who are fat :-p

Live a healthy life, but everything taken to be in moderation.

ANYWAY

Mr.Boo wanna share this with all of us. Take some time to reflect on it :)

People are ofter unreasonable, illogical and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway
If you are kind, people may accuse you of being selfish, and having ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway
What you spend years building, someone may try to destroy overnight;
Build anyway
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway
The good you do today, people will forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you have anyway

You see, in the final analysis, it's between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.

Another point of view...

Just to voice another opinion.

I am nonetheless having a good relationship. Having to say that, I hope readers realize there is more than one writer in this blog. For those of you, who didn’t please read the following lines... for those who did, please proceed to next paragraph.
YOU DOINK PEOPLE! How you think you could get so many articles in a day? You think we don't have to WORK huh! (Hiiiiiaaaa beesh... poing! That would be the sound of your backside landing on floor. Not bad huh... my invisible kick... Remember that!)

Ahem.... where was I? Oh ya... Good in the sense, during school days, I do not pay much attention on guys, they just don't impress me much. (You got to understand, having a father who was a math teacher in your class... what do you expect?). With all those point make clear, I do behave like perfect student. All the girls consider me "non-threatening". (Believe it or not, most of them behaving like princess dowager having to fight for king's attention!).
Because of my status, some do confine in me, the war's detail. When you think politicking in office is bad... you should go to "ALL GIRL SCHOOL".

Then came college days....
It was one of the scariest experiences for me yet it is so refreshing. First time away from family and living outside on your own with monthly expenses you don't have to work for. (I can see all of you smiling from ear to ear... those good old days... Aaahhh...) For me, it was the beginning of "involvement"... no more "non-threatening" status. (Father wasn't around :-P )
The fights if there were any, were almost non-invisible. Girls were more civilized during college day. I don't know...maybe it got to do with age or probably they had too much fighting in secondary school, they rested during college? Beats me! I just have no clue.

One thing lead to another... *blink* I am in a relationship. I have my one and only man and I feel so blessed indeed. Why? Probably I heard so many "cold and heartless story" on relationship that I am just so glad I don't have those experience.

But not having those experiences also mean don’t have those sweet memories. I have a few friends who suggested I try more than once. The reason: How do you know this is the right one? Just like food, you won't know what food you like until you taste it and slowly it will go into your like or dislike list. Come to think about it, it does make sense. How do I know indeed?
That will always remain a question...

I ask myself if that is an important question? Then I decided it is not... why? Because like food, it is to fill you up so that you will not be hungry. Does my one and only relationship make me not hungry for other... YES. Next, I already have my like and dislike list. Indeed tasting more will give me more choices but end of the day both of these lists will only get longer and longer. So? What if I can't find such food to fulfill these two lists? The longer it get, more impossible it becomes... then what do I do? Compromise?

By now all of you must be thinking... wow, it is great to have only one relationship. You couldn't have been so wrong...

1. Everyone agrees experience create awareness. You experience this, you will be more aware on the outcome. Having to deal only a relationship, you couldn't tell anything at all. Information comes from friends, you can only guess.

2. Without awareness, there is no appreciation. I do take things for granted. Why? Because I always think that it should be this way. You know being girls you get so much that is your privileged.

3. Not loving enough. How to be loving when you never break your heart before? To know the hurt will only educate you that love...doesn't come easy.

4. I... take a different view on friends. Friends for me are those who is helpful, fun and enjoyable company. I didn't have the ability to empathy much, but I do try... from all my guessing. You must agree I have great friends... why? Because they never once ask me to shut up when I don't know what I am talking about. ;-)

5. You have heard over and over again the saying "the higher you go, the harder you fall". Having one time bull eye on relationship does create pressure. Some of your friends... (Not mine ok... mine are angels to me :-D ), may look at you with envy. Once you fail, they will have a bashing field day. Even you know the relationship will fail, you will compromise it too much just because you have an "image" to maintain. *sounds weird right?...*

I have a couple of friends having the problem above. With my ignorant mind, I think the choice is only divorce but to them, it is a risk of being humiliated. They go on, disillusion themselves that is life and you just have to take all that in.

So you see whether it is a one-time bull eyes or multiple searching task, it makes no different. Everyone have his or her own set of problem. There is no way to say which one is better than the other... just count your blessing and hope you make as right decision as you can.

Hey to think about it, if both of us writers have the same set of experience then we will just be repeating ourselves... that will be so boring right :-P

Thank God for variety :-D

Sweet Memories

If any one of us has never been through a broken hearted moment in your love relationship, then you better get down on ur knees and thank the good God for excluding you from this test of life. For those of us less lucky ones, I think you will agree with me that the hardest part of breaking up is the sweet memories that remains. Many a time I wish I could rip out my brains and remove those sweet-turned-bitter memories, but alas, it is meant to stay to forever torture my soul. I started out wanting to write a guys-bashing article, but decided that's not me today..so instead I'm gonna tell you about the 5 sweetest memories I ever have with all my exsssss. Yeah there are plenty of them until I can't keep count (** based on this my mum says my Maths is LOUSY **)

1) In Form 6, I got a call from a guy and before I realised anything, he and his bunch of friend starting serenading me with "Smoke Gets In Your Eyes"..very loudly too I must say. Honestly it was embarassing at that time coz my dad was sitting just next to me obviously not too pleased that some bunch of nutcase were singing off-tune song to me. It ended with his best friend saying to me "Hope you understand his heart intention". At that point I was already tomato-red and contemplating banging down the phone, so all I said was "Uh..ok..bye". Hahaha, that must have tore his heart...but no worries, he went on to become my 1st bf :)

2) As me and my friends were frolicking in the waters of Redang one day, our sight chance upon a group of divers preparing to go out to sea. My eyes zeroed in on one cute looking dude (thank God for contact lenses else I would have missed him!!) and there was instant chemistry between us. So busy was he looking at us that he stumbled and fell but quickly arose with the sweetest looking smile. That night we met again, and alone together we sat on the beach under the stars - 2 strangers who ironically comes from KL but meets in Redang. The stars were especially plenty that night, and the sound of waves beating on the shore was calming. The sweetest thing that night was definitely his voice and his smile and the laughter we shared. Awwww....one of my best of best memory ever. Needless to say, he became my 2nd ;)

3) There was a period when I was working real late into the nights. BF #5 who was not my bf yet at tht time once called to ask if I wanted anything to eat for dinner. I was really busy and not interested with food, so I told him no need. Not long after tht I got a call from him again asking me to meet him outside the office. Feeling tired and irritated, I was gonna go out to give him a piece of my mind but before I can open my foul mouth, he handed out a bag containing Choc Milk, sandwitch and candies. "I don't wanna bother you and I will get lost after handing these to u. But u gotta eat something or at least drink some milk. I'm worried abt ya". So foul mouth became melted heart....(women are so easily conned dun u think!)

4) I once had a guy that stirs my drink for me when it's hot to cool it down for me.That was adorable. Then he would laugh at how bad I handled my chopsticks, and scoop my noodles up and fed me. That was captivating. When I worked late at a customer's site, he would purposely work late too so he could remain online and mentally support me. When it's over, he would come pick me up for dinner. That was supportive. When we were at a park and it started to rain, he carried me into the rain, and dance with me. That was wet......

5) And my all time favourite memory of all...drum rolls...when my Sony Ericsson K700i fell, he picked it up. What's so great u may ask? Haha...the problem was that it fell into a public toilet. Not a sitting toilet, but a squatting one. The type where the hole goes straight down. This particular hole was small and surrounded by suspicious looking brown gooey stuff. I could see my mobile blinking light somewhere below..as if calling out "Save me from this stinking shit hole!". I tried to reach for it, but the smell and the sight got me gagging. Urrgh..the thought of it makes me wanna vomit all over again!!!! YUCK! Seeing my wretched face, he kicked me away from the hole and did the hole-digging himself. Conclusion : the phone was rescued but did not survive, and I "died in the hands" (literally translated from cantonese) of him - my mobile saviour.

And those were my 5 sweetest memories tht I can remember. As I said, those memories never remained sweet. But anyway, thank you to all the guys tht added a piece of bitter-sweet memory to my life. Doesn't matter who was the jerk - u or me, what matters is that we once shared it and we cannot ever erase it.
Moral of the story : Appreciate the good things that you share with your partner because u never know when it will be taken from you. The next time u have an argument, think only of the sweet things and surely ur heart will soften and a useless argument avoided. As my pastor said today "The Best Has Yet To Come". (Hoho...surprise surprise I actually came up with a good moral to my story heh?!!?)

I declare PEACE (*waves white flag*)

As I sit here waiting for my car to be resprayed (yeah some idiot bang into my astoundingly beautiful red baby!). I reflect on how my blog has affected my readers. Plenty have commented to me that now only they know condom came in sizes while some others have gotten into some heated disagreement with one another. I'm ok with the condom-part but greatly disturbed by the disagreements. Does it really take so little to start a fight? Have we gotten so obnoxious that we are unable to accept the views and thoughts of others? Can we not just accept a person as himself eventhough that is not how you want urself to be? (..sigh~~...)Think not of oneself, but instead focus on the rest of humanity that is at this moment suffering. Certainly that is more worth our energy, is it not? And while you're at it, please support WWF and save the Orang Utans :)

What say you?

Some people said life is too short and some said life is just too long...
I guess it depend on which side of fence you are. Besides, who would on their death bed said "HOORRY! AT LAST I AM GONE!".

*blink**blink**blink* that does make life perspective much clearer right?

Nobody welcome death. The word itself shock our senses and threaten us somehow (*you know what I mean*). For those out there who want to live say up to 60 years (*before diseases rack your body or you think being old is too boring*), and think you could achieve that by drinking like there is no tomorrow, smoking because you think you are a chu-chu train and refuse to exercise...

Well... that is your choice. I mean really, that is your choice (*Got you there, wasn't I? HA HA HA)

So basically I think, whether life is too short or too long, it would really...really depend on how you make it. Ponder on it today and you might just realize what you have been missing... and make each day count :-D

DECISION: How to make the right one?

Hey if I know you think I will write this? (hehehe)

I am still experiencing ... when I get a right one ... there will be enormous pleasure
When I get a wrong one... *tut* (You got it. Something better left unsaid).

This is a good article about decision making from Holy Bible (Best Book in the world).
http://www.pbc.org/dp/zeisler/3973.html

Credit for the writer... and enlightment for the rest of us :-D God Bless.

BLOG: What is RIGHT OR WRONG?

People..do you know what is a blog used for? I have no idea actually so I will tell u my defination. My blog is an avenue for me to express whatever nonsense goes on in my head. To reveal my sadness , happiness, dissapointment, hurt, frustration ..etc..(u get the idea). And of course I allow my friends to express themselves too in my blog. As the title of my blog suggest ie. Looney Bin, this is a crazy blog place. Nothing in it is to be taken to be the utmost truth or to be taken seriously AT ALL. Basically the dog's bark is louder than its bite - so what we fantasize we will probably never ever do. So for those of u who seems to take offence to the articles, please kick your narrow-mindedness to the previous century, and instead open urself to a world of imagination. And hey, u're also welcome to publish educational and benefitting articles. We are all responsible for our own action, don't put the blame for ur action on someone else's writings.

Finally I wanna thank one of my dearest and bestest friend ever, Boo for giving me the inspiration to create this blog. In his words - you paint how you want your world to be like. Thanks Boo for ur support all these times and helping to wake me up from my depression. Love u and rest of GO6 to bits !!!!

How Funny...

When I was young, I always picture man as tall, dark and handsome. As I grow up and growing old (Urg! Hello... this happen to you too ok!) all I see is short, white as "pak cham kei" and errr... no comment...

Why is it so different, huh. WHY WHY WHY? (*frust*)I remember so clearly in all novels... all the heroes so "yummy" but reality is just ain't that pretty.

It only enforce my idea that love novels are written from people who desperately want to ignore reality and dream in their own world for those people who believe in that world.

And you know what hurt? When you thought you have all that figure out, your friend walked pass with her new "Mr. Universe"! (*dead silent*)

DARN! Now I have re-think what I already thought I knew now I don't know and...and...
You got it. I don't know what to think any more.

Is it true...

Is it true that younger man will go for older woman? This is some kinda trend? Some even fantasized 10 years older (saliva dropping…). Does that mean I am able to have 20 years old man? (YEAH YEAH YEAH… you could hear Usher’s song playing in the background).

Anyway, it is hope for us all… not that I will attempt (yeah right!) but nevertheless story on Demi Moore and Ashton Kusher does give us hope. (teng!teng!teng!) .

*sigh* Man does have it all izzit it. When they are younger, they can have older woman and when they are older, they can have younger woman (*almost wish to be a man*...almost only ok.) Because the other side of coin ring true too.... (HAHAHA! We can have older man first then younger man later. ).

Now it is our turn to have fun :-P

Hhhmmm… I do wonder how does it feel? Those who have done it all with “been there, did that” should be able to share some light??? Let me know how does young meat feels like … (*evil laughs*). Ooopppsss…

Make Love Not War

Today I had a fight with a dear friend of mine. Left me really sad because he made me realised I was an insensitive selfish bitch.Ok can't exactly call it a fight since he did not use his karate chops and I did not use my Zhang Ziyi kicks...but still a disagreement nevertheless. Once again my heartfelt and sincere apologies to you Paul for being the naughty devil that I am *blows kisses*

So anyway, the short fight with Paul that I had today made me realise how important it is not to fight and why we should instead promote Making Love Instead Of War. I know nuts about making war, and I hope people will believe me too when I say I know nuts about making love! (OK Stop
laughing!). Well you should believe me since I really did thought there was only one brand of condoms ie. Durex. But of couse I also know that Durex has type normal, Ribbed , Featherlight, ExtraSafe...etc.. Ermm, I read that from an encyclopedia *angelic smile*

Well, to cut a long story short, I really don't know how to make love. What exactly is the meaning of MAKE LOVE? Is it simply the ritual of having sex? Or does it involve more passion and feeling? Does it involve Kama Sutra positions? Btw, is 'Helicopter' position part of the KamaSutra??!! I really wonder how that works. I mean is the guy's thing really long enough to still be attached to the girl while she is flying around above him? U get the picture?? A collegue of mine (who btw promotes drinking papaya milk for bigger breast..of course she taught me way TOO LATE coz tht should have been done while in "expanding meat" stage of life) once showed me a picture of this fascinating position and believe me, you really gotta be a yoga expert to be flying round and round up there and still get orgasm!

Which brings me to another question...what exactly is orgasm?!! Is it really like in the books and I quote "as his manhood push harder and deeper into her, she felt her body quivering and shaking uncontrollably. The stars and the moon exploded before her as she reach her climax.
Aaahhh...aaahhhhhh...Ooooo she screams before she finally heave a loud Awwwwww..and drops into his pulsating sweating body". My gosh, orgasm sounds like lots of fun, and yet tough work. Indeed it must be tough work for a lot of ladies coz plenty of my gf tells me they should be awarded an oscar for best actress in bed. Their advice to me - perfect the art of closing half eyes and letting out joyous lusty screams. Duh~~

Moral of story : It's not good to still be a virgin at 30 (QUIT LAUGHING will ya!) coz then u dun know to believe the lusty books or to believe your friends, and definitely because you cannot experience stars and moon exploding in your head....*harder, harder*

People enjoyin in Chicken-Lala land

King of Chicken Worm

******* Please note : *********

The below is only from my cuckoo imagination and is in no way reference to any person - dead or alive

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For those of ya who have no idea what or who Chicken Worm is, try translating it to Cantonese and u get the idea.
And a typical chicken worm's favourite place to go is of course a certain exotic land ladden with cheap and pretty chickens.

So here is my story of a chicken worm I know...and his name in short is CW.

Once upon a time, there lived an innoccent angelic little boy with big blue round eyes in some far off land known to many as Potato-land. So innoccent was he that he thought condoms only came in one size *duh* (actually I thought condoms came in one brand!)

Then the day came when little CW was to become a man...a TRUE man...showing off his manhood to the most deserving female in chicken-land. But alas....*ring*ring*..a call from CW for moi --> conversation goes something like "Sob, sob, LooneyBin...HELP me!!! I can't fit in"

*Looney Bin scratches head in wonder*

What exactly can't this guy fit in??!!??!! "Looney Bin, I'm too BIG!! I can't fit in your little asian condom"
*Looney Bin rofl and faints*

WTF?!!! Did u get the largest size? Sure he did, and yet he can't fit in. Makes me start to wonder how huge is this "asset" of his ...hmmm....ok, ok...stop imagining! So the 1st encounter with chicken for poor CW ended on a dissapointing note. But fear not CW, sos is coming!!!

*arrival of european-size rubber*

A-ha, with right size rubber in hand, CW sets off in search of new chicken blood once again. This time he shall not fail....or so he thinks. Sigh~~~ *ring*ring* Once again a cry for help --> "Sob, sob, LooneyBin...HELP me!!! I can't fit in"

WTF again?!!! Did he like drink a ton of Tongkat Ali?!! Imagination running wild again. Maybe I should strip him and see for myself....*vomit*vomit*

"NO!!!! The condom fits just fine. It's the hole...it's too bloody small!"

*Looney Bin dies laughing*

Moral of story : Before sticking the batang into a hole, make sure the batang is not bigger than the hole :) Else it's gonna be a STICKY situation.