Reflection.....noitcelfeR

Holiday

2010-08-06T12:02:00.002+08:00

Finally holiday time is here.

Though we're not going anywhere fancy, but a holiday is a holiday and I need to tell myself this time to TOTALLY forget about work and just chill out. Afterall, this is the 1st time in 4 years that

I can go holiday without a kid in tow.

Of course there is also that niggling guilt of not bring Z along and hubby keeps asking 'should we?' and my heart always answers 'she would love it'.

But this time I must be strong. This time I will let my head rule.

The answer shall be 'NO'.

Hope that doesn't get changed in the next few days ....

I miss her

2010-07-30T16:02:00.002+08:00

U know how it's like - when u have something and it's noisy, u wish it will just go away and give u some peace. Then when it's finally gone, u suddenly find it's too quiet and lonely. Well that's the case with my daughter. When she's around, she's non-stop talking or crying or screaming or fussing - sometimes to the point of giving me a bad migraine. But now that she has gone off to live with my parents in law, the house has gotten too quiet. Initially I enjoyed the peacefulness, but now that 3 weeks has passed, I'm kinda wishing she'll come back soon. I miss hugging her to sleep and the cute little songs she sings to me. I miss her sweaty little hands clasping onto mine and most of all I miss hearing her sweet little 'I love u mummy'.

It's bad enough missing my little baby, I also have to miss my own mummy. No more mummy to accompany me to the market for my weekly food supplies:( But i hope my mum is having lots of fun - she's holidaying in UK right now. Think she really deserves it coz she's been getting migraine from both Zaydeen and the maid :-p

Though I miss them dearly, but I guess it's not too bad an experience.

Firstly I get back some ME time to do the things I want to do.

Secondly I learn to be more appreciative of my love ones.

Thirdly I'm also more appreciate of my maid - despite how lazy she is at times, I learnt that it is really tiring taking care of the house and keeping it sparkling clean.

Fourthly my in laws now know their grand-daughter is like an energizer battery and is not that easy to handle.

And lastly, it's good to have some time alone with my husband - to finally be able to go on dates without the little one in between and to have conversations with him without Zaydeen butting her face in the middle of us.

And I think the dogs love it too coz I get to give them more attention and they don't have a little kid running after them and trying to wrestle them :-p

So my recommendation - YES this should be an annual affair but maybe a shorter time frame - 2 weeks maybe? :D

Happy Anniversary

2010-07-30T12:11:00.002+08:00

Again...another year has passed and I am back to update my blog.

I'm surprised that it hasn't already been 'killed'. And technology has improved so much that now I can make the blog look better simply with a few click of buttons.

I work in IT line but I am so outdated. That means to say I really don't like to work in the IT line.

In fact I hate to work and I wish I had the luxury of working for causes that matters to me such as WWF or Children with autism. But unfortunately I have not reach that level yet so I have to continue to work hard and pray one day I can actually do that.

Season of change

2009-06-12T22:24:00.002+08:00

Year 2009 - year of change.
We've finally got ourselves a landed house :) At last I don't have to climb up the stairs when the lift breaks down for the umpteenth time, and I don't have to go 2-3 rounds to carry the luggage when we travel . The best thing is my poor dogs will not have to be 'fugitives' anymore and will alas be able to roam freely in the garden. Yes, we're gonna have a garden too..yippee. Well a small garden but nevertheless still a garden. Of course I'll also miss the swimming pool which Zaydeen is beginning to enjoy. But it'll be a good change definitely as the current apartment has started to feel too crampy with the growing kid and additional maid. Purchasing the house was easy (not so much on the wallet though), but now comes the biggest headache of renovating it. Because of budget constraint, there are a lot of 'wish to have' that simply has to remain just that - wishes only. And to add to my headache, hubby insisted on getting a Feng Shui master to check out the house and ended up we need to do some not so conventional modification to the house which also cost another bomb. Anyway that's a story for another day.

As for little Zaydeen, she's going to nursery next week!!! She's so excited about it and keep mentioning she wants to go to school though I don't really think she knows what school actually is. I'm just as excited as her actually coz I think she will really love playing with the other kids and learning new thing. But yet I'm also fearful if she'll be alright by herself with strangers. Worried if she'll be taken good care of. Will the other kids bully her. Worried if the caretaker will beat her since she's really naughty at times. Don't even know why I'm so worried since she did go to daycare since she was 2 months. But somehow feel different now. Well, shall just have to pray for God to watch over her.

This is also year of promotion for me. Nothing much to shout about since it's a promotion without a raise! Just means added responsibility and added input required. When I was young I used to be ambitious and had a dream of being some powerful career lady. BUT marriage and motherhood has mellowed me a lot, and honestly nowadays all I really want is a boring mundane 9-5 job with no stress and no challenge and that allows me to go home early to the family.

Next hubby got a new job and his office is just 2 blocks behind my office! Haha talk about close proximity. And now both our office is gonna be really near our new house. Perfect! No more 1 hour jam on the LDP to get home. No more having to pay the exorbitant tols. By the way, why the heck do we need to pay to get caught in a jam? Anyway, hubby's new job means an increase in our family income. Yahoo....one tiny little step towards my dreams of retiring early....YA RIGHT!

And the final change, Sis is getting married! Sis is going to be 40 next year, and we really thought she was gonna be an old maid the rest of her life :-p It wasn't because she lacked choices, but she just didn't have much fate to remain with the guys. So thank God she finally found her perfect man and we don't have to worry about her anymore..hahaha.

So let's hope that the rest of the year will bring more good changes :)

I want to be a stone

2008-06-27T16:11:00.004+08:00

I'm back!! Been such a busy busy mummy, and Zaydeen's already 13 months now. Below are some pics of her birthday celebration at her daycare centre with her other little friends.

And this link shows what she does at her daycare - typically being a hiao por :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tl1hVGN8zvI

Ok back to adult things. You may be wondering what in the world my blog title means. Well that's actually the conclusion I got from after some religious discussion with some of my colleagues. Being in Malaysia, we are multi-cultural and multi-religion and we supposingly respect each other's religion. Supposingly I said because I guess most religions do think of themselves as the superior religion. Anyway one of my colleague is a guru on Buddhism/Taoism Malaysian style, and I was just commenting that the religion is kind of frightening because there seems to be so many different 'Gods' belonging to that religion. Compared to that, Christianity is just about one God and one destination - heaven. Well it's the same isn't it, argues my colleague MC. Buddhism also has one God .... seems all the different Gods are actually the same God but with different personalities and colors and looks. Some sort like human I guess - we're all just human but we look white and black and yellow. But anyway, MC said Buddhism also has one destination which is Nirvana which is when one has achieved perfection and doesn't need to return to this world to suffer anymore. So for him, Nirvana is like heaven except that one doesn't just go to Heaven when they die, they need to be reborn into different things such as an ant, a dog, a human, an angel (??) until they achieved perfection in life.

So what is the purpose of Nirvana? For Christians we believe that in Heaven everything is perfect and there is love all around and that is all eternal. That is why we wish to go to heaven coz hell is a bloody burning hole. (My personal opinion!!) But Nirvana according to MC is feel-less. You will cease to have any attachment, any feelings and just totally unemotional. If I understood him correctly. SO my question to him was, does tht mean perfection is being a piece of stone? Is that what they want to reach? As a stone one feels nothing, hurt nothing, kills nothing and love nothings. Not so bad actually if you think about it coz then you'll definitely not be suffering at all. Interesting point. But... I think I'll stick to my heaven.

Yes I respect all religions, but I am not ashame to say that my religion is superior to all religions. O please don't send me any bombs or death threats - this is just a personal opinion. I'm sure we are allowed that, aren't we? And for those who don't know, my husband is a Buddhist and he gets to have his prayer table in our house. My dad used to be a buddhist too and my mum followed him. Even though she had loved the Christian teachings very much, but she followed my dad faithfully. Her teory was that she didn't want them to be separated in death. Awwww. I think it's the same for me. So dear husband, I'm waiting for you to become a Christian.. :-p

ACT 19:11 - God did extraordinary miracles through Paul for me.

Btw, my mum did become a Christian finally after the passing of my dad.

As time flies

2008-02-03T00:09:00.000+08:00

With a blink of an eye, and it's already been more than a month since my last entry. In that blink of a month we have celebrated mudpie's birthday - well belated coz we were too busy enjoying ourselves in Jerajak. This is a picture of him with his birthday hat and of him enjoying his birthday cake :D

From the tiny little puppy that could fit into my palm, he's now 2 years old and a definately much more matured boy. It's amazing how a different spesies of animal could actually also learn to be attached to a human and he's really grown to be like a son to me. I'm hoping one day he'll be able to play around with Zaydeen and love her just as much as he loves me :)

Zaydeen too been growing up fast in this space of 1 month. From crawling on her tummy she's now able to sit by herself, crawl on all four and now pulling herself up and standing in the cot. O she's definitely growing up fast, which means I am also growing older fast too.

Today I was wondering aloud with my husband about what this world has become and is this really a world where we want our little angel to grow up in. Recently there's been a few cases of little girls kidnapped and some brutally murdered, and it has come to the point that it is even unsafe for little girls to be just standing outside their house! I find that really saddening because our homes have now become like a prison. Would Zaydeen not have the opportunities which I had as a little girl to enjoy her childhood? Would she not have the chance to cycle to the park with her friends? Would she not be able to just hop over to her friend house for a play session without mummy tagging along? My goodness, she won't even be able to enjoy looking for little 'longkang' fish in the little drain outside the house gate. Our children's childhood would now have to revolve around computers and television.

I remembered when I was in primary school, I was usually home alone after school and my friends lived along the same road as me. We would just go to each other's house and our parents did not have to fear we'll be captured by some pervert. There were days we even went to the big drain at the end of the road to sit by the bridge looking for rubbish or fish in the muddy water. In fact, I even walked to school by myself and it took me 15 minutes to get to school but my folks never had to fear that some sicko would try to sexually assault me. Sure occasionally there were those problematic 'flasher' but compared to the perverts of today, those 'flasher' now seems to be pretty harmless.

Much as I hate to become those overly anxious parent, but I think I have no choice in today's world but to ensure such heinous crime doesn't happen to my little angel. What option would I have besides being by her side every minute possible? I could only imagine the pain and suffering the parents of those missing girls go through. I however cannot imagine what kind of human could be so cold hearted to harm a being so young and innoccent. Could it be they are really without soul and compassion? How frightening if that was true.....

Food Holiday

2007-12-25T00:43:00.000+08:00

Hmm...been a while since I last blog. Somehow working + baby <> spare time for blogging. Anyway, finally got myself some days off and decided to go for a short holiday with the family. Since I was still apprehensive about getting Zaydeen on a plane, so we decided on somewhere nearby and accessible by car. So off we went to Penang full of anticipation about the glorious food and the sun, sand and sea.

This is Zaydeen all excited about her 1st trip out of KL.

1st stop was a famous seafood town called Bukit Tambun. The restaurant we visited was called Prawn Village which was highly recommended by some blogger, but alas the food was nothing spectacular. We had bamboo chilli prawns, baked crab, bean paste 'juk tan', fried mantis prawn and steamed mantis prawn. Only the steams mantis prawn in egg white and 'juk tan' tasted satisfying while the rest got only a 3 out of 10.

Zaydeen got tired of looking and smelling the food and not getting to have a sample of it.

After lunch, we continued our journey onto Penang Island and Jerejak Island. Everyone and anyone who heard that I was going to stay in Jerejak Island had exclaims "WHY?!!" For those who don't know, Jerejak used to be a prison island of Malaysia and even further back in history it was also a quarantine area for leprosy patients. So I guess that explains why everyone thinks I am a bit cuckoo to have chosen that as my holiday destination. Well..all I can say is...it's a VERY relaxing island (as in there is nothing much to do or eat there) and there's no ghost there!!!! Well at least I was lucky enough not to have met one :S

We got a king-size bed which as you can see Zaydeen absolutely loved it!!!

The rest of the holiday was spent rather stressfully trying to taste all the good food of Penang. And being the peak holiday season, most of the roads were pretty choked with traffic. It didn't help either that me and Aaron were not familiar with Penang road, so I think about 60% of the time was spent trying to understand the map and figuring at exactly which point of the island we were at. In the end we didn't managed to eat all the food that we had wanted to, but I think we kind of lost the mood after trying a few so-called famous ones and went away highly dissapointed with the taste. I think personally my most dissapointed food was the famed Balik Pulau designer durian. Admittedly this is not the durian season but somehow we came across a stall that still had durians growing in their orchard. The durians cost a bomb and it won't have been so bad if it tasted great, but all it tasted like was like bad watery normal durian.

This is Rosy....whiched turned out to be not so rosy afterall.. :(

Luckily Balik Pulau was saved by a great stall selling yummy Assam Laksa served with fresh Nutmeg juice. Ummm..that tasted nice.

Another great sampler from Penang was the Lorong Selamat Char Kuey Teow. Most everyone had advised us not to go to this stall as the stall owner was said to be arrogant and the queue extremely long. Luckily we ignored those advices and gave it a try. The wait was indeed long, and the price was pretty exhorbitant for a plate of fried noodles. Ours cost MYR7.50 per plate for special order of extra prawns. But the prawns were huge and fresh, so we didn't grumble too much. And actually, now it's no longer a stall, but a shop. Guess the owner got rich and decided to set up a shop instead, and in fact she's no longer doing the frying but instead sitting back and just collecting the money ;) And nope she's not some grumpy old lady anymore either but was even friendly enough to pull up a baby chair for Zaydeen when she saw how tired we were carrying her. So guess this taught us to always give someone a chance no matter what others may say about him/her.

And finally the not so great food we had at Gurney Drive. Tasted worse than the ones in KL. Need I explain more?

Merry Christmas and Happy Year 2008 everyone!!!!

My Happy Family

2007-10-03T15:44:00.000+08:00

What makes a happy family? And does a happy family really exist in this world. Is there really a family that is always all smiles and happy days, with no arguments and no dissatisfaction? Are the parents always loving and understanding, while the kids obedient and cheerful? If there really exist such a family, then I don't know to congrat them or to laugh at them because one has to have a really simple (nice way of saying pea size brain) mind.

Before you start thinking that maybe this looney girl is having some family crisis, let me assure you that everything is fine at home. I would call my family the normal family. The mummy and daddy slogs through all day at work making the measley amount of money just so the kid can have a good life and just maybe there might be some extra left for mummy & daddy to have a nice getaway. The kid thinks only of herself and what she needs and wants. Give me my milk, give me some attention, clean my bum bum...etc..etc. The dogs on the other hand thinks they are also kids and yelping for attention and to be cleaned. Mummy nags and daddy goes deaf momentarily. If this is not normal then what is normal?

Am I happy? Well definitely not when I am nagging. And why do I nag? Because things are not done my way I guess. Which is interesting - why do men not nag? How do they control their irritation when things are not done their way? And why do I bother to nag everyday when my husband does not seem to be remembering what I am nagging? Actually, I don't know myself...maybe it has just becomes a hobby. I used to wonder why my mother likes to nag so much, but now that I am a mother myself, I think I understand. It's because we are so darn tired trying to make our family a happy family!!!

So back to the question - am I happy despite all my nagging? Umm...I would call it a different type of happiness than before. Happiness now only happens when my daughter is happy and my husband is happy. When I hear them laughing and chuckling then that is happiness. The dogs looking happy would be an added bonus too :)

Does money make me happy? I don't think money makes me happy, but it sure makes me nag less...hahaha... O ya, just an update from my previous post. My fatty boom boom is now all fine. She was recently operated for stones in bladder, and turned out she had about nearly 10 small little stones! In fact it was lucky we discovered the problem before her bladder exploded. Thank God.

That's my happy little Zaydeen :)

My Fatty

2007-09-14T15:14:00.000+08:00

I have 2 fatties in my life - fatty Zaydeen and fatty Crystal. Of course sometimes I also call my husband "fatty" :-p

Since the arrival of Zaydeen, the other fatty has been a bit ignored mainly because she gets a little crazy for attention and jump all over me while biting my fingers off. Fatty Boom Boom is my pet name for her. Fatty boom boom is actually a very adorable dog who just simply loves everyone as long as they pat her because she craves so much for love. Sometimes I think she does not have any IQ coz she has a silly looking face hahahaha. Her favourite pasttime is to sleep, and before the baby was here, she used to sleep with me in the room. Sometimes when she thinks I am not looking, she will sneak up the bed and put her fat ass next to me. Aaron loves fatty because he says she is very nice to hug. Yea, if she doesn't stink! Somehow it doesn't take her long to get stinky - usually after a day or 2 of bathing.

Recently fatty fallen sick. The vet said that he suspect she has stones in her bladder, and right now she's undergoing X-ray to find what is causing her to be unwell. It's only now when she's sick that I remember how much I love my fatty boom boom, and I hope she will be fine.

God bless my little fatty boom boom :)

Sweet Life Of Mine

2007-08-21T15:39:00.000+08:00

This morning I nearly died. Why? Because of a fire drill. That is how ironic life is. There in the middle of a highway a group of people were practising on saving their lifes and at the same time they nearly cost me my life! Well not them directly, but the scores of busybody Malaysian drivers that slowed their cars to look at the rising smoke. And me being the sleepy mum was half dreaming half sleeping half thinking and driving at 110km/h. Thank God I managed to brake in time too.

This reminds me of a show I watched recently that taught its viewers that life is uncertain, someone who is perfectly normal and healthy does not neccessarily outlive one who has AIDS. Today I am alive, and tomorrow I may be dead because of another fire drill :S Makes you wonder then is riches all that important? sometimes I feel poor, feel desperate for more money, more luxuries but will all that matter when I am dead?

Nope, guess not. Instead I must learn to be contented with what God has provided for me, and believe He will continue to provide for me. I thank God he gave me a sweet little daughter whose mere chuckling laugh could erase all stress. Thank God for my understanding husband who despite not being a millionaire but feels like a million dollar to me. Thank God for my 2 little dogs who welcome me with such delight eventhough I totally have no time to roll around and play with them. Thank God for my trusty red "sports" car that has gotten me to all my destinations safely. Thank God for my mummy who continues to love me and support me eventhough I can be rude to her sometimes. Thank God for my friends whom have brought colors to my life. So much to thank for...but if only I remember this 24X7 ..then life would indeed not be miserable to live in.

This is in memory of my father whom I miss so much. You may be far but yet your memories remain close to my heart everyday. As daddy used to say "Life is uncertain, but death is a certainty - do not fear death"

So much hair!!

2007-08-03T09:59:00.000+08:00

Does all young babies not distinctively look like a girl/boy or is it just the case with my baby? Everytime we go out people will comment "oooooooooooo...so much hair, is it a boy or girl?" So now I end up buying all Zaydeen's clothes in pink colors just so it becomes more obvious she's a girl. But she does have very lovely hair and is the envy of every other baby ....haha..but my mum is a bit obsessed with it coz she's always complaining that the lady at the daycare centre is combing the style all wrong. Geesh, didn't know baby also has styling.

Another thing I am wondering is whether someone who becomes a mother would have a change in personality - as in becoming more angelic? This is because everyone is always saying to me "aiyo..mother already lor..why you still like that". Hmm, didn't know that motherhood can automatically turn someone from "alive" to "plain". No, I still like to jump around and act stupid, and road hogs still makes me boiling mad and neither does it stop me from scolding vulgarity during traffic jams. Or maybe I am just not a good mother ??!!! Well, I try not to say any vulgar words in front of Zaydeen except for the occasional "shit" and "f**k"...oopsss..

Talking about traffic jams, I just want to say that I absolutely hate selfish drivers and road hogs...especially those that drive huge SUV and think they can bully us lesser cars off the road. I admit I'm not law-abiding driver myself, and I probably ruffled a few people on the road too, but don't you just hate it when you are rushing and some stupid car drives on the fast lane and block your way. And they probably do that because they are driving a BMW and think they own the whole highway. That once happened to me. Some silly aunty looking lady driving her BMW at 70 km/h on the fast lane of a 3 lane highway. If I had been just a a little bit more madder I would have ram her hard and shove her off the highway :-p

So you see, motherhood doesn't make one angelic. At the moment it has only made me more stressed and impatient. Hell hath no fury as that of a over-tired, over-worked and sleep-deprived mother. So next time you're driving, make sure the person behind your car doesn't look like a first-time mother...coz tht's probably one of the most dangerous driver on the road!!!! Luckily for Zaydeen, my husband fetches her around and not me :)

Dog vs Child

2007-06-18T18:31:00.000+08:00

After a few more weeks of incessant crying and tiresome nighttime feeds, I finally came to the conclusion that in my next life I will just stick with keeping dogs instead of getting a child! Yes I think I’m not a very good mother – definitely unlike what they always try to portray a mother to be – all sacrificial and saintly. Sleep deprivation definitely makes one go insane and cranky so sometimes I end up snapping at my poor Zaydeen to “SHUT UP or get thrown away!!!”. Of course after uttering such unforgiving words to my poor daughter, I will instantly feel guilty and needless to say feel like the world’s worst mum. It doesn’t help either when hubby is lying fast asleep snoring next to you totally ignorant to the din that baby is creating At times like that I just feel like giving him one big kick off the bed and of course that makes me end up feeling like world’s worst wife too.

Am I going crazy? Naggy? Intolerable?
Thank goodness NO. Luckily I just read an article in a motherhood magazine that states I am normal and these are feelings that all new mothers usually feel. Phew~~ I just got to believe there is an end to this “torture” and hang in there somehow. Meanwhile I’ll just continue wondering if it’s better to have a dog or a child. Let’s see, a dog doesn’t cry for food every 2 hours. A dog doesn’t need me to rock him to sleep. A dog doesn’t need burping after every feed and doesn’t vomit onto me either. A dog also isn’t slippery in the bath, nor does it have “wind” which causes it to cry for no apparent reason. A dog does however have real stinky pee and poo as compared to a child’s – at the moment that is!

Now if only I could hire a maid to help me out. But then nowadays everyone is saying maids are out to snare the husband and lead them astray. So now do I want to keep my husband or my sanity? :-p Well, if the husband was so easily tempted, then maybe better not to have such a husband anyway, right? Or is it better not to give the temptress the opportunity to enter the den??? Dilemma of the year…besides the dog and child debate of course.

And to think that baby crying peaks at their 8th week … aargh....more insane time ahead.

Zaydeen when she is sleeping peacefully *my favourite time of the day!!!*

Pain

2007-05-30T13:47:00.000+08:00

OK, time to share my caesarian experience. It's not painful at all...none at all, pain-free all the way UNTIL you wake up from the operation!!!! I remember the feeling as they are wheeling you into the operation theater. There you are lying on the bed and all you see as they are rushing you there are those lights on the ceiling. And the faces of the attendants and your husband's worried look. So exactly like what you see in the movies.

And let me tell you, as those lights flashes before you, all you can feel is FEAR. Pure fear. Somehow you get the feeling like you're being wheeled to your death. Or maybe it's just me :-p That's not bad yet. Then you enter the actual operating room and you are asked to climb onto the cold operating table. That's the point when my legs started to shake uncontrollably - really shake non-stop. But thankfully that wasn't for long. Very soon after, some old looking man was putting a mask over my mouth and nose and saying 'Hi Oi Ping, I'm Dr. See' and that was the last thing I remember in that operation theater. After that I was sleeping like a piggy and when I woke up I was still in a daze not knowing if the operation had begun or was over till a nurse walked over to tell me everything was over. And for the rest of the day I just slip in and out of consciousness. So when they brought the baby to me, I could barely keep my eyes open and nurse her.

When does the pain begin? Well, the moment you open your eyes after the operation. First you feel a pain in your throat – dry scratchy feeling and like it was dying from dehydration. Then you feel the pain at the section where they cut you up. Excruciating pain it was! And don’t even try moving or getting out of bed – you’ll feel like the lower half of your body is tearing apart. I’m not exaggerating at all ok!!! But after 2-3 days it will feel much better and you’ll be a bit more mobile again. That’s the great thing about having the service of the nurses. They practically do everything for you during those days from cleaning you up to changing your clothes.

And what was even more painful than the caesarian wound? Urrgh, the pain when they remove the urine catheter from you. They stick that into your bladder and attach it to a bag so there is no need for you to go do your little business. The urine goes straight to the bag whenever it enters the bladder. So after that is removed and you try to go do your little business like usual, wowee, the urine stings you so bad that more tears come out than urine. The moment a drop of urine tries to come out, the pain made me suck it back in. Hahaha…o boy, those were bad times.

Anyway, it was a good experience. One word of advice though. If you want to go through a caesarian, make sure you have a good partner to take care of you after the operations. Without the support of my husband I think it would have been totally miserable recuperation. You sure need that special someone to hold your hand through all those fear and pain. Not painless but makes it all bearable.

PostNatal

2007-05-18T14:48:00.000+08:00

What do I miss most now that I am post-pregnant? Sleep!!! What should you enjoy before you have kids? Sleep!!! And time together with your partner. Nowadays the only things I say to my hubby is “Dear, baby poo-ed”, “Dear, baby needs milk” and of course “Dear, stop talking and lemme get some sleep”

To my poor stressed out hubby, sorry for the added pressure, but we’re getting there!!! Today is her 12th day after birth and she’s settling down to a routine (hopefully coz her internal clock is still a bit not right when it comes to night and day). As parents we’re also getting the hang of thing and ways to pacify her. Anyway, mini-Kristine is now named Zaydeen Kua Shun Ying – mind u, her dad took many days to finalize on her Chinese name and Zaydeen is not a Malay name! She was born 3.3kg in the afternoon of May 7th 2007 via emergency caesarian. Not a nice start to life for her. Poor little dear had a knot in her umbilical cord and during labor contractions the knot was tightening and cutting off her oxygen supply and hence decreasing her heartbeat. So Doc had no choice but to perform an operation to grab her out of mummy’s tummy.

And all the things you heard about mother’s love being incomparable to any other love? You’ll know it when you become a mother. Suddenly there is this little being so dependant on you. Well maybe more dependent on your breast :-p For me initially it took some time to bond. Being a caesarian birth, I did not have the chance to hold her the moment she was delivered so when they finally brought her to me in the room I was not so sure if that was my baby. Then through breastfeeding our bond was sealed but not totally. There were nights when ¾ asleep and Zaydeen was crying non-stop (despite me just having fed her) that I wished she wasn’t there. Yeah, such a horrible mum I was. Blame it on the hormones lah!!! Well maybe it was a minor postnatal depression, but I stood there crying because I felt like such a loser mum not knowing what my baby wanted and not being able to pacify her with the 101 songs I sung to her while she was in my womb. But on the day she was re-admitted to hospital for jaundice, that was when I knew what a mother’s love was all about. I cried from the A&E ward to the children’s ward, and cried even more at home. Seeing her naked little body lying under the phototherapy light all alone without her mummy, I wished I could take away her suffering and keep her company. So sleepless nights or low milk production, it is my duty as a mother to please my little princess. My reward is her sweet and satisfied smile. O ya, Zaydeen’s pics are posted in the following link :
http://fotologue.jp/#Zaydeen

That's when Zaydeen was still tuck nicely inside the tummy

In the labor ward still enjoying my contractions

Zaydeen just out from the Operating Theater

Zayden lying on mummy for 1st time

Zaydeen at home finally

VE

2007-05-06T16:43:00.000+08:00

So what's a VE? Stands for Vaginal Examination. Is it fun? Maybe for the doctor, definitely not for me! So far had it 3 times - 1st time ok, 2nd time hurts bad and 3rd time plain uncomfortable. What happens during a VE?
1. Doc ask u to lift ur legs and open wide (while u are laying down of course). This is embarassing enough coz now doc and nurse is staring at your most private part while hubby is pretending this is not happening and staring at the ceiling :-p
2. Doc straps on his rubber gloves and squeeze some gel onto his fingers
3. Arghh..here it comes...doc then pokes his 2 fingers into your vagina. Not a pleasant feeling at all I must add, and he's sort of trying to push real deep in and at the same time digging at the walls. With his other hand he is pushing your tummy down. Something like what your mum does when she is cleaning the chicken and trying to grab the liver out!#!@$@!
4. Thankfully doc doesn't stay there too long and soon his hands are out again. Now breathe a sigh of relieve and hope you never have to go through that again.....

What is a VE for? Well according to my doc it is to check if the baby's head is fully engaged and low enough and also to determine if my cervix has soften & open. Negative for all 3 checkups :(
So what is next? Doc looking very serious says "We will induce you next Tuesday and if she still can't fit into your pelvic bones, then we have no choice but to go for caesarian"

Induce? Caesarian? AAARGHHHH...those 2 words I don't wanna hear!!!! Why can't I just wait for her to come out naturally??? Doc said is not advisable as her amniotic fluid has gone low and it would be dangerous for her to remain inside with little fluid. Sigh~~ baby o baby...why so tough to get into this world. Mum isn't helping much by sharing her experience with me. Turns out I myself was an induced baby and mum said the labor was way more painful than sis & bro who came naturally. Just the kinda news I need to know at this moment *sweating* Well at least there is epidural to kill the pain. Thank God for advancement in medical technology.

What I don't wanna know is the final hospital bill. Any sponsors maybe?!!?? Just wishful thinking :)

So if doc has it his way, then my little baby will be out on Tuesday 8th May 2007. Exactly 40 weeks since her conception. And that will probably be the day I scream the loudest ever in my life :-p

Still here

2007-04-27T17:28:00.000+08:00

Geesh, B-day has not arrived yet and I am still well and fit sitting here blogging. The wait is driving me a bit crazy. As a 1st time mommy, I have no idea how a contraction should feel. People gives me such wide range of descriptions like period cramps to feeling the urge to go to the loo. So what happens now is I end up wondering 'IS IT STarting' whenever I feel any sort of pain and tightening. And o boy the tightening is happening a lot lately too. One moment I have nice soft tummy, and the next it becomes hard like a ball. Pretty interesting first few times, but once it happens too much it can get kinda uncomfortable.
Yesterday I thought the time had come when on my way to work I had this sensational pain in my tummy that lasted a good 3 mins. Hubby rushed me home to wait it out, but turns out it was a false alarm and I lost 1 day of billable day ...*boo hoo*...equivalent to 10 tins of milk powder. Yeah, now every income is measured by how many tins of milk powder or baby diapers I can get from it :)
Tomorrow doctor said he will be do an internal examination on me. Hmm what could that possibly be? So I went on the internet to check it out. Mama-mia!!! Doctor wanna insert his 2 fingers into my lubang! Eee, that is so embarassing and awkward. Eiya, what he wanna feel in there ler??!!?? Aarghh...if I survive that then I will post a whole blog on INTERNAL EXAMINATION :-p
Meanwhile, guess I'll just enjoy the food while I can. My last chance to gobble down everything and blame it on the hormones. No need to worry about getting fat - blame it on the hormones :) Thank goodness unlike some pregnant women,I don't get constipation. However, my last check in the mirror was kinda unappealing. Whoever that was staring back at me in that mirror totally looks like a hyppo :( And why so much cellulite ah?!! Arghh, worry about that AFTER the delivery. Now just pretend the mirror had some problem and distorted my image :-p

Yup, pregnant ladies can sometimes go cuckoo, and make themselves believe things they shouldn't believe...BLAME IT ON THE HORMONES :)

The countdown BEGINS...

2007-03-31T15:56:00.000+08:00

34 Weeks 5 Days. That's supposingly how long mini-Kristine has been hiding in my tummy. And anyday now she could be making her surprise visit into this world. Geesh, that's kinda scary yet exciting. The doctor is hoping she'll stay there till past 37 weeks, but I can feel she's complaining about the lack of space inside for her to move. Feel my tummy having a lot of practice contractions lately and thankfully practices are not painful ones! My mum told me it's time to get ready and clean the baby's stuffs, and my hubby tells me to start packing my hospital bag. Guess everyone is more excited than me, but maybe coz I am mummy and I know best when the time is due...aleh..like real.
So hospital bag is packed, and then realised after talking to other experienced mums that I missed out a lot of stuff. Socks, jacket, and hidden snacks??!! Interesting. Then they start with all the scary stories about the pain before and after delivery. The pain of breastfeeding. The pain of confinement period when there's 101 rules to follow else 'wind' gets into u and u'll end up having 'head wind' in your old age. Well do you know some things after hearing them, even if there seems no logic to it AT ALL, yet u can't not listen to it else u might regret it...well these are the sort of things - don't wash your hair, don't let the fan wind blow onto u, don't bath if u can (I wouldn't want to be the baby who has to stick to some sticky smelly mum!), don't walk up and down the stairs too much else your uterus will drop out (horrors of all horrors!) and my all time favourite, don't watch tv or read books. Geesh, 1 month of totally not being able to do anything ..sounds so fun, ya?
Started to wash up all my baby stuffs like the cloth napkins and clothes, and now I know I think we over-bought them. First time parents just got too overzealous with the shopping I guess..hehe. Was commenting to my hubby that eventhough we have a lot of neutral colors, but there were also a few blues ones. But somehow pink never seems to make an appearance. That kinda shows we were really expecting a boy. Why o why were we so sexually biased :( By the way, for those who think cloth napkins are cheap, they are NOT. Before getting them, I thought they probably cost a few dollars but turns out that was probably the cost during my childhood time :-p In fact everything is so overpriced when it comes to baby and maternity. You better have at least an extra 15K in your bank before you decide to embark on making a baby..and that is praying hard there is no complications involved!

So I leave with the question - why is the price of everything around us increasing, and yet the salary of most everyone doesn't increase at the same rate? Btw, I support the salary increment for our police force - they might be corrupted and grumpy and unhelpful at times but do you blame them? I would be too if I was getting such peanut salary for risking my life for society.

It's a GIRL

2007-03-16T17:28:00.000+08:00

So we finally know Sponge Bob's sex... a sweet little girl. Bound to be an angel though my boss said it's frightening to think of another mini-Kristine roaming the earth! Hubby and me now searching high and low for a name for this mini-Kristine, and nothing ever seems to sound right. Meanwhile she is growing up fast resulting in me putting on a kg every week. I sure hope it will be as easy to lose those kgs as compared to gaining them else I'll need the help of a certain Marie France ~gulp~

Can't believe it's gonna be another 8 weeks or so when I finally get to see mini-Kristine in real form. Geesh, that is a bit of a scary thought suddenly when I start to imagine the crying, the poos and horror of all horror, the sleepless nights!!! Just hope she's as well behaved in the outside world as she is in my tummy.

Frankly I'm really gonna miss having her inside me coz nothing can really describe the wonderful bond u feel with your baby inside you. Only I can tell when she's having a hiccup, or she's doing her stretching exercise or just being cranky and giving a hard kick into mummy's ribs. What's amazing is that she's really connected to the outside surroundings. For example she loves listening to ang moh's talking coz she moves quite actively whenever she hears that. And she knows when I tune in to my daily Spanish drama by giving a jump (probably she can imagine the well-built Latino guys..hehe). Best of all, she even knows when daddy comes home by hearing his "Hello", and she knows to get angry at daddy when he is not behaving. There was one time when daddy came home a bit too intoxicated with alcohol, and while I was busy lecturing him, guess what? Mini-Kristine was busy kicking at him ...except she forgot it is me who feels the pain and not him *doink* And her most super active time? When I went to the cinema to catch a horror movies - she was kicking and turning from start to even after the show ended in protest of the loud noises. Yes, I'm sure gonna miss our special relationship for this past months, but I'm sure it'll be just as great when she's out in this world :)

So once again for those who are still deliberating on whether or not to start a family, don't think anymore. Life is too short to miss out on one of the greatest feeling/gift. You might end up round and fat, walking like a duck and constantly hammered with insensitive statements BUT at the end of the day it's all worth it coz you'll have something WARM and loving inside you. Something you can really call you own :)

P/S : that's not my tummy...could never capture THE moment like this. Especially when she does mini waves in my tummy.

The Baby

2007-02-02T12:35:00.000+08:00

Sometimes it seems that the more time you have, the less you actually spend making good use of it. It's been months since my last blogging and so many things have changed since them. I've gone from single to married to housewife and now to mummyhood all within months. And I think I'm still reeling from the fast changing scenes!! Singledom was of course great but then being married is even far greater. Now I have a companion (or he calls himself my slave) to bully and order around :) Ooo, he gets to do that on bed too...hahaha. *censored*censored* again....

But barely have I settled down to being the pretty sweet housewife with the brooms and the dusters and aromatic home-cooked dinner, then out pops my tummy annoucing the arrival of a little Kristine-Aaron. Since we don't know the sex of our little darling yet, we decided to nickname the baby SpongeBob :) These days SpongeBob has turned me into a real looney bin. Sometimes I sit and cry and I don't know why, sometimes I laugh and feel super high and I also don't know why. Before my husband admits me to the mental institution, I just wanna say this 'It's all the hormones fault!'.

If that isn't bad enough, I also feel like a round watermelon that's clumsy and unsexy...and funny enough this also has to be the time when you'll start noticing why are the young girls getting skinnier and sexier and hotter and prettier and why o why is my hubby's eyes always so busy looking around??!!! Yes hubby tells me I am still o so sexy, but somehow I have a feeling he's saying that only to ensure I don't start crying mad tears again. BUT even with this, I still love love love having my big round tummy because I know my little Spongebob is inside there and u gotta experience it to know the wonderful feeling of having a living thing (and I'm not talking abt bacterias or viruses!) growing inside of u. The little kicks, the soft movements, the somersaults....awww...never fails to remind me of the wonders of God's miracle. And well, at least it takes away some of the pain of the first 3 months of morning sickness..urrghh..would take an eternity to actually forget that!

Tomorrow we'll be seeing SpongeBob again and we are so super excited to be able to see our little baby. It's always so bonding to be able to actually see a picture of the baby's development inside you and to know how long, how heavy...and yes what sex is Spongebob!! SpongeBob been kinda naughty and using all means to hide the sex from us :( Maybe my baby is those creative kinda soul that just didn't wish his clothes and accessories to be categorised into pinks and blues. It's only now that I realised baby stuffs are so un-creative in Malaysia - they have to be in blue, pink or whites - and if u're lucky there might be some pale yellows. O please.....can they make things more colorful here!!!!

Ya ya, the mad looney have not forgotten how to complain about life ;)
Stay tune for more updates...................

My Wedding

2006-09-26T20:25:00.000+08:00

Since my wedding announcement, I have been bombarded with questions after questions and I guess probably the one with the most Qs is our wonderful Paul van Harmelen.

So let me clear the air…tell a story and entertain you my blog fans ..hohoho…and hope Paul stop asking me more questions.

About 1 year ago, it was destiny that made me a consultant and fate that sent me to a certain MLM company to meet my future husband-to-be. Through a lot of obstacles, and objections, and busybodiness, well we’ve finally proved that if a couple were meant to be together, then nothing can possibly stop them from being united as one :)

My bf is a very serious looking guy and as a customer he got me very worried because he seem to be able to tell every time I was bullshitting about the product :-p But as a bf, Aaron you are the best ever man I have ever met that never fail to make me laugh and ever ready to endure my temper and crankiness. And despite his practical nature, yet he further amazed me by being so truly romantic during the proposal. 99 roses for eternal love with words that brought tears to my eyes. Sun, I’m afraid I cannot teach you what he said because the words must come from your heart to work on the gal lar!!!

As for the reason for the shocking wedding.. WHY SO FAST..seems to be everyone’s question followed by ARE U PREGNANT??!!....hmm….as I tell you all…Leave it to your imagination plus you can check on that in about 8 months time ;)
If you see little OiPingesss crawling around then you know we have been naughty, else maybe it was just purely because we love each other so immensely much that we just had to get married fast to be together J

For those that have been witness to our courtship and romance, thank you for your continuous encouragements and support. Both of us will never forget your true friendship and will hope to be able to be that same pillar of support to you in your time of needs. Btw, MC, I took Plan C ;) Thanks for the idea.

Anyway, the wedding date is 25 November 2006. Your company (only if invited…hohoho) will be much welcomed as I truly would love to have all my friends and family to share this special moment of my life with. Until further updates…..I’m busy preparing!!!

Chance or Choice 2

2006-04-19T08:28:00.000+08:00

Remember this article I posted many moons back abt chance and choice? Well it suddenly hit me again today and it helped put a lot of things into perspective..well at least for today until I wake up tomorrow and wonder again why life can be such a drag.

Everything in life might actually start out as a chance, but eventually it becomes a choice. Take for example my current job. By chance it dropped onto my lap when I was not really looking, and by choice i decided to take it up. Today I do admit I regret a bit having made that choice, but because it was my choice, so I have to stick with it. Do or die I have to stick with it till my choice becomes a joy.

And that's exactly the same with so many other things in life isn't it? You may dream so much of getting that sleeky BMW and by choice you bought it,but then lives to regret it cause the monthly maintenance fees is draining dry your entire life savings.But can you sell off the car? NO WAY! How can one downgrade a car :-p Well thankfully I got a City so at least it low petrol consumption :)

How about my dog? By chance some bitch decided to give birth to a black and white pup just when I was looking for a schnauzer doggy, and by choice I bought her and named her Mojo. But then mother's choice was stronger (heck I can't even name my own dog!) and Mojo became Crystal. First I thought I got a cute adorable doggy, and the next thing I know is I have a monster that pees and poo at any spot she deems smells "good". But yeah...she's my choice and I have to bear with mother's nagging and poop scooping till this choice becomes a joy too. Did I also mention this choice is kinda high maintenance too since she eats like a horse and not like a dog, and needs monthly "hair-styling" else she looks like some street beggar. Ermm...but no regrets on this one. All the hardwork pays off when she looks into your eyes and give u the most loving lick on your face ever :)

As for the men..hmmm, I think fate is the thing we call chance, and my claws on the men is what we call choice..hahaha. Just joking ok! The men will be so lucky if I even want to lay one fingertip on them :-p But so far I think my choices have been pretty OK - of course they are OK choices till they became history. Now history repeats itself and I chance upon what seem a lovely man again. One thing I learnt though - it is our choice if we want to discover the lovely or the horrible man. It is our choice if we want to be deaf to the unpleasant and our choice if we want to turn a blind eye to that which should remain unseen. Knowing everything and doing nothing is a choice. Knowing nothing and hoping for everything is also a choice. My choice today is to walk the path that remains hazy. I am afraid, I am worried and indeed I am crazy. But eventhough I know I cannot trust my decision, yet I know I can trust God.

And of course making a wrong choice once or twice won't kill :D

The love story of tiger and monkey

2006-03-30T22:41:00.000+08:00

One day a monkey met a baby tiger at his workplace and the monkey was totally fascinated by the tiger. He had never seen such a strange beautiful creature before and thought her to be different from that of his species. So monkey decided to himself that he must have baby tiger. Now that was not a simple thing because baby tiger was an aloof creature and untouchable. She seems expensive and hard to win over. Ahah...thought naughty monkey..I have an idea *bulb light lits*

Monkey sent baby tiger a nasty email regarding work and that started a frenzy of email war between them both. So now he's got her attention. Smart.... Next he pretended to backdown and admit defeat. Smart..... Then opportunity striked and monkey got to ask baby tiger for her phone number, and of course they started coming out for casual chats and monkey even taught baby tiger how to hang around trees and jungles.

One night as they were hanging around their friendly jungle pub, baby tiger was intoxicated and monkey took the opportunity then. He stared into her eyes and baby tiger returned the stare with a peck on monkey's forehead. The monkey nearly melted from sweetness then. He felt as if he was floating and a million butterflies was flapping their wings in his round little tummy.

He looked into her eyes once again and whispered "you're so sweet, can I make you mine?".
Baby tiger smile her sexy little smile and in a split second opened her mouths and swallowed monkey! "No, you are mine instead" laughed baby tiger.

Moral of story : Baby tigers are harmless, but not females...especially those high on alcohol.

To be continued .....

My life in Bangkok

2006-03-27T23:38:00.000+08:00

Sawadeeka....
What is life in Bangkok like? To me there's really not much difference. The people at work are really hospitable and friendly people, and most of the people on the street are gracious and gentle EXCEPT for the guys at the immigration. Somehow morning, day or night they have this sour looking face that's doesn't win any points for friendliness.

I haven't been out exploring the city though as nowadays they have all the pre-election demostrations so I don't feel too safe walking out and being possibly bombed to pieces. I even heard of teksi drivers who kick you out of the teksi if they find out that you're not supporting the same candidate as them? : Did I just say they were gentle people? :S

My favourite subject would be the Thai food. It's really so much more than the fare we get at our local Malaysian Thai restaurants. Initially it was a bit hard to adapt because most of the food was sour and spicy. And now I know I also have to be aware of what I am ordering because they seem to have a liking for blood. Eaten a noodle with beef/pork blood in your soup to make it tastier? O yuck, I only found out after I drank the whole bowl of soup.

And yes, there is a massage parlour everywhere. I think 6 out of 10 shops offers massage services. One of the more interesting service is called 'Body to Body Massage'. Somehow I doubt if I would be allowed to try that out :) But I know plenty of guys are imagining trying it out!!! (And I heard it's really shiooookkkk and not too expensive too) And "chickens" are all over the street but I thinkI am a bit prejudiced coz everyone looks like a "chicken" to me. And then when the real "chicken" is right in front of me, I doubt that she is a "chicken". SOOOO I am no expert on "chicken" watching :( But the other day, 3 chickens went into my apartment lift and there was 3 old hamsap men with them. Is it really soooo fun to have S*x with chickens??!!!

Let me discover and reveal more next time :)
I miss you Crystal, Mudpie and Monkey!!!! It's tough to be away from home :(

Money buys happiness?

2006-03-14T14:56:00.000+08:00

A new beginning has started for me, and like all new beginnings it starts a bit apprehensive and a bit shaky. It's always frightening to walk into new territory especially if you have been enjoying yourself in a familiar environment. At this moment I am wondering if I was totally sane when I decided to leave SSA. SSA has been like home to me for 5 years, and I've grown a lot with that company. Life in SSA has gotten so comfortable that I could control my own time and work with very minimal supervision. So what made me move on? I guess I just needed to take on more challenge or maybe more money? Yalah, money is the root of all evil!!!

Now I have to travel weekly away from home and family and dogs and friends. I'll probably get used to it, but right now I am a bit homesick. Ya stop laughing! It might be one day away from home but I sure do miss HOME! I miss you my little MOJO. I miss you my sweet dar dar. So the million dollar question is - can money really buy happiness?

Thinking back, a lot of my decisions in life were ruled by the dollar sign. And admittedly some of these decisions had proved to be a mistake or so it seems at tht point of time. But if you really think abt it, nothing was really a mistake. Every path taken leads you to your destiny in life. What seems like a loss now may prove to be a blessing in future. What I did learn is that money may not be able to buy u happiness, but it can definitely buy u comfort and luxuries in life. And there is nothing more satisfying than being able to pay for what you desire and know you worked hard for it and that you did not have to depend on someone else to grant it to you. That is what I call independence indeed :)

A life with lack of money is a life of misery. Sure you can have all the love, all the health..but money is really the root of all (not just evil). Without money, that happiness and subsequently that health will suffer. So YES, money is very important and is a very crucial factor in ensuring happiness in life. I know I sound really money-minded and materialistic, but if you give it a good thought, you'll probably agree totally with me. Else maybe you should enlighten me as to how to leave the money factor out of growing happiness :)

So unfortunately until the day I had enough of money (which is probably never!), I will need to continue to fight for it, continue to strive hard for it...and like all other mankind..continue to be slave to it. That is indeed the sad fact of life - we are all slaves without realising it. But how many of us can possibly let go and leave this money-chasing game?

What a girl wants, What a girl needs

2006-02-16T09:28:00.000+08:00

Recently we experienced the passing of yet another Valentines Day. I think this day is only welcomed by the girls and even then it is those girls who has a partner. For the males it is also known as Wastage Day because they have to fork out huge amount of $$$ just so they don't have to look at their gf's black face. And for the still single and availables, it is THAT dreaded day when people ask where's your flower and where's your romantic dinner.
Being the nosy parker I am, I caught some of my guy friends to ask what flowers they got their gf and am most surprised that 80% of them did not even get a single stalk of rose. O NO! The death of romantism!! Guys, this is NOT the day to be logical thinking - girls don't appreciate it. I know most understanding gfs will tell you it's ok if they don't get the bunch of roses, or it's ok if you had maggi mee at home instead, but you know what? Deep down inside, they are damn dissapointed that for ONE day in the year, their special someone couldn't be romantic enough to forget being logical.
All guys complain that this is a commercialised day, that guys who does go out to buy those extravagently expensive stuff are either suckers or going all out to con some gal. Not really true. I believe these are the guys who know how to pamper a girl and to make her feel special. Every girl wants to feel special and appreciated and loved by their partner. We actually don't really care about the flowers, but rather it is the action of actually buying it that matters. To us it means that despite you being all smart, all intelligent, all logical and all manly, yet because you love us sooooooo very very much and think I am sooooo soooo special to you, therefore you are willing to be stupid for once and splurge on something even if it's illogically priced JUST SO you can see a smile on my face. Now that's what I call someone special :)
Ok, I can imagine all u males complaining why are girls so materialistic. Well, maybe not all. Maybe it's only me :D Personally, I prefer a bunch of diamonds rather than a bunch of roses that will die in 3 days. (They didn't call me a dreamer for nothing!!) So did I get my bunch of roses? Ummm...nope (*crying crying crying*) I read in the newspaper that HK girls even get so desperate as to send themselves flowers just so they can show it off to their office mates. Lucky I haven't gotten that sad!
But anyway, despite having no big bunch of flowers, and no romantic candlelight dinner (nor a small little diamond..tsk tsk), I had the moon and the stars and the company of a guy who knew it doesn't take $$ to pamper a girl. But most guys don't have that talent so you guys better resort to the flowers ya :-p
Happy Belated Valentines to all, and hope you'll remember that everyday should be a Valentine's Day if you really love someone. Muakssssss XXX

Chinese New Year

2006-01-19T09:10:00.000+08:00

Ahh...I've been so busy with my projects lately that I realised it's been weeks since I paid any attention to my blog :( In fact just looked out my office window and realised they have even completed construction of the office tower opposite my office!! Goes to show how unobservant I have become.

So anyway there's another round of holidays coming our way and of course another good opportunity for me to have a nice long break :) Yesterday a friend told me that she hates Chinese New Year (CNY) and only then did I realise I was pretty impartial to this festival. I know many many of my chinese friends get really excited abt CNY and it seems to be the only festival they ever look forward to. Probably for many of the out-of-town folks, this is their one chance to get together with all their family and friends so that's why it's such a special time for them. Of course I believe a lot of the "incentive" factor boils down to plenty of good food, drinking, and of course the much addictive GAMBLING. (CFSwu, I am gonna get my revenge this year!)

Compared to Christmas, CNY is pretty normal to me maybe because I don't really celebrate it in a big way. O we have the normal reunion dinner, and watching the kids play with their 'pop-pop' and wondering why the heck the neighbours with those fanciful fireworks have so much money to burn :) I also go for the occasional house visiting and get deeply engrossed in the gambling activity, but somehow that's no fun when u keep losing to some guy who's wearing red underwear :-p Others might stuff themselves crazy with all the good food, but CNY is a time for me to diet coz I'm not one for cookies and snacks :) The one thing that I get complained about the most is the fact that I never return to Ipoh to visit my relatives. Well I have good reasons for that. For one, I hate to be caught in those massive hours of traffic jam. And secondly, being asked when am I getting married by each and everyone of my relatives is NOT exactly my cup of tea. O, but I don't mind when they tell me I've grown prettier - that is most welcomed...hahaha. Thirdly, after the many years of not seeing my relatives, I somehow feel I don't really know who are my relatives. Does anyone ever have the problem of not knowing how to address their aunties and uncles??!! In my family, there seems to be endless naming convention like 'yee kong','yee cheong','piu ko','tai ku ma' bla bla....and in fact I think my aunties and uncles won't even know who I am if they saw me at the roadside!

Anyway, I wish all a great holiday ahead. May everyone "fatt tai choy" (get rich) this year and o, please treat all dogs nicely too *wink*

Gong Xi Gong Xi!!!!

The Year That Was...and the Year to Come

2006-01-04T10:22:00.000+08:00

It's that time of year again when all gets sentimental and makes new resolutions to enhance the quality of their life. For me, I've given up on it. New year resolutions never last longer than a week, and it's just easier to go with the flow *wink*

I've just been on a short break to nowhere fanciful for my New Year holidays, but it's was certainly a welcomed respite from the torturous 2005. Away from the city, there I was just lazing around and taking in the sceneries while breathing in the fresh cool air and watching my loved ones enjoy themselves. With work thrown to the backseat of my priority, life was certainly heavenly and peaceful. Wouldn’t it have been just wonderful if time could stop there and then? But alas, that is wishful thinking, and eventually we all have to return to our mundane life and boring jobs.

During those restful days I managed to steal some silent moments to reflect on my life that was in 2005. The year had certainly been full of surprises – both good and bad. And though I would have liked to be able to say I would not have wanted it any differently, but to be utterly honest, I really wished it was. So many decisions I would have made differently had I known the outcome of it. So many pains I could have avoided had I been a bit more patient, and so much less hurt I could have caused if I had known the consequences of my actions.
But life is not about living in regrets, but about looking forward. And that is why everyone so madly celebrates the New Year – because everyone hopes for a fresh new beginning in which the past year’s regrets can be forgotten, and instead hopes that happiness and prosperity will cross their path in the coming year. So my new year’s resolution this year is to stop asking ‘What If’ in the past, but rather to ask ‘What If’ to the future. I think for everyone, there’s always the opinion that life will always have its ups and downs, life will always seem cruel, life will always be unfair...and so on and so forth. What I do know is that whatever cruel blow life deals me, I will still pick myself up and move on to the next challenge. And I must not forget that between those painful bruises, there’s also the sweet incentive to keep me going.
And to end the year 2005 with a bang, I am listing the top 5 things I hated about it (just to get it out of my system..haha). Happy New Year everyone, and may this year bring you less regrets and more joy than the year that was.

Top 5 Most Hated Things of 2005 (in no particular order):

1. Road hoggers, motorcyclist who bangs lovely shiny red City car, and selfish drivers who thinks that allowing one car out in front of them in a jam would delay their reincarnation.

2. Being dumped by a man who did not know what he wanted from love, and then subsequently confusing myself about what I wanted from love. And to top it off, meeting more men who are equally as confused!

3. Busybodies who had too much spare time on their hands, and thought it was their business to tell me what to do and how to do it. Hello…if I need a nanny I will put up an advertisement, TQ!!!

4. The constant shrill voice of a certain person who thinks the whole world doesn’t mind hearing her negotiation skills in hokkien dialect, or that everyone is just delighted to be involved in her conference calls. Nothing personal, I like you as a person, but I sure hate your voice and the constant phone calls that are all YOURS!

5. Animal abusers, wildlife poachers and the damn measley fine for these people which doesn't even scare my little niece's piggybank! Come on, RM100 for torturing a dog?!! How outdated can our laws be?!!!

And the Top 5 things I wish for my new year :)

1. A dog of my own, and mummy stop nagging abt how dirty a dog is, how much problem they are..etc..etc

2. A 25 - 30% increment in salary and a 6 months bonus (well..we are all entitled to wish for miracles!)

3. A long long one month holiday backpacking across Europe with no concern for money and accomodation....still wishful thinking!!!

4. A man who knows what he wants, knows what he can offer and knows how to pamper a girl - but I think I better settle for the dog instead. I think men label me the DMH - Devoted Man Hater :) come on, I do really love guys - especially those who are in touch with their feminine side. lol!

5. And finally...I wish for all mankind to stop eating/utilising different parts of animals that has not been scientifically proven to have any advantageous effects for their health/beauty. Stop the horrendous killing of the innoccent tigers and bears and monkeys. And o ya..I wish JLo would have endless nightmares of the many minks that died for her stupid fur coat!!!

Remember folks - if there is no demand, there will be no supply :)

Merry Christmas

2005-12-19T09:54:00.000+08:00

Christmas always brings some sort of sentimental mood to me. Maybe it's the christmas carols or the joy of seeing people going abt selecting presents for their love ones, but it's definitely my favourite festival of the year. Also the most bankrupt festival I must add!

The first miracle of the season has already begun for me and my special friend - whom I have now named BonBon. Bonbon's the dog that I mentioned in my previous blog. Somehow by some magical intervention, my mummy has now declared him an intelligent dog and have given me the consent to feed him! That really goes to show that love and patience can really change a situation even when it seems impossible! My next prayer is for her to allow me to bring him into the house compound and provide him shelter for the rest of his life. Hope you can all pray for this to happen too :D Remember,LOVE NEEDS NO PEDIGREE *wink*

Besides the first miracle, I also got my first present already :) It's not really a Christmas present since I already know what's in it, and the joy of receiving the present is not because it's a present but because it was given to me by my good friend who was also my ex-ex bf. This goes to show that there can be friendship after a broken relationship, and you don't need to be in love with someone to care for them. People always ask me if there is a possibility to love him again, and my answer to you all is there isn't because I never stop loving him in the first place. We have evolved from a romantic r/ship to a more meaningful friendship now and I think that's simply superb because we have become each other's supporter in this life which is full of shitty matters.

I admit life is never smooth, and so full of twist and turns. Sometimes I might feel like giving up on it, and sometimes I feel it has so much hope. Sometimes along the way I'll meet people who really touch my heart and yet at other times I'll meet people who's insincere in their concern for me. Then there are the guys who promises me the world and produces nothing, and there are those who dare not promise anything but show me the world. In each being that I meet, I know God has He reason for making me meet them. Maybe I will not know right now why, but someday I am sure He will reveal. My hope is that in each being I meet, I have been able to show them a little piece of what God's love is really all about. And that is truly what Christmas is all about - not the presents, but the celebration of God's love for us all.

Don't believe God love you? Then sit down and reflect on this. At each of your lowest point in life - be it business failure, work failure, love failure, money failure...has God not always provided a way for you to stand back up? We should all take the example of innoccent little BonBon - with tail wagging he courageously faces up to each day with the hope that a miracle will happen for him.I salute you Lord for showing me the way :)

Merry Christmas everyone!!!

Irony of Life

2005-12-10T10:34:00.000+08:00

Don't you sometimes feel like life is a game? A cruel game infact.

There's a cute little doggy that lives opposite my house. Well not exactly live there coz he's been thrown out of the house to become a stray dog, but yet he loyally stays close to the house and even happily wags his tail when he sees the people of the house. Ironic that he's been betrayed by the owner, and yet he's delighted to see them. Even more ironic that those inhumane people can rear a dog but chose to dump such a jovial dog, while I am longing to bring him into my house and yet disallowed from doing so by my mum. I do try to feed the little fella whatever I can get my hands on, but of course at the expense of my mum screaming at me *sad*

When it comes to the working world, there are those are already rich, but yet all the good opportunities just keep falling into their laps. And on the other end of the scale are those who work day and night like a cow but are never rewarded rightfully. Those who sit and daydream at their job, and get the big fat bonus! And why have I never tasted what it's like to have something called a bonus? The unfairness of life indeed.

In love matters, there are those ugly roses that gets the super and some,rich,charismatic guys. Always leave me scratching my head wondering what is their secret?!! Then u have the tall beautiful ladies with the short, big bellied guys. Opposites really attracts?! But the worst case are those who has the best partner they could ever have, but are not willing to open their eyes to see the gem that they have and let it go. Wait, there is an even worse case. Believing something that isn't really true - like cases of women who make themselves believe that the guy loves them, and sell their soul for those guys.

My personal all time best irony - a person can give you the happiest memories in your life, and on the other hand could also be the person to give you the worst heartache ever.

Who said life was boring?

I.D.I.O.T.S

2005-11-30T09:35:00.000+08:00

I wonder if it's the season or just the stress of life that causes more idiots to pop up nowadays. I'm sure plenty of people would call me an idiot too without me knowing about it, but I sure hope I'm not as big an idiot as the idiots that crossed my path recently.

The past week I came down with some strange illness that just left me really lifeless and unfocused, and I suspected it was due to high blood pressure. So anyway, all I wanted was to rest and not be stressed further. You can imagine my frustration and my irritation when instead all kind of idiots started cropping up and giving me problems. I was accused of things which I did not do and could not be there to defend myself. And it made me think was it worth all my effort of fighting and dedicating my time to my work, when all I was repaid with was frustration and ungratefulness?

It's not only work. On the roads too there lay many idiots. Just the other day, some guy who wasn't patient enough to wait in the proper lane tried to jump the queue and cut into my lane. Being in such a horrible bad mood that I was, I was pretty determine this was one bugger who would not be bullying me. So at the expense of my car being scratched by the idiot, I just refused to allow him into my lane. And can u believe it, the idiot actually horned at me and gave me the middle finger! And after that when I got in front of him, he used his highlights to flash me. What has people become that they think it's their right to scold others when they themself were in the wrong in the first place? Do they think that the whole world needs to bow down to their needs and wants?

Yes there are plenty of those kind of people cropping up in the world today. Everyone has gotten so self-centred that everything is always about them, them and them. They do not see the fault in stepping on those who are more considerate. Like the bitch who made the fuss and stole my new laptop. *Pissed beyond words* Everyday experience has only taught me that one has to talk loud, act brash, and be totally selfish to get ahead. In other words, be a total idiot and you will be rewarded with whatever you want!

However nice it may be to have all that I want, yet I do not think that is what I want to be. What is the point of getting everything but on the other hand you get loss of respect and curses on you and your future generation? As my good friend advised me, no matter how bad peope may treat you, do not stoop to their level. Continue to be someone good and nice, even to those who do not deserve it. Even God provides to those who are undeserving! So all you idiots, you can continue taking advantage of my good nature. Continue using me for your own needs. Continue being incosiderate to my feelings. Because what matters to me is not you.

How To Keep The Passion Alive

2005-11-18T12:49:00.000+08:00

Marriage is a bore. Passion can never last......
Is that statement right or wrong in your opinion? I have never been married, so I won't even dare to answer that! So from this point on I speak from the experiences that people share with me ya :)

When you're dating, everything is rosy and fine. U pay for your own stuff. U drive your own car. U pay ur own credit card bills. Dirty laundry? Do it urself of course. If u argue, U go back to sleep in your own bed and not speak to each other for a few days. After not seeing each other for a few hours, u just missssssssss the other so much that you contemplate marrying just so u can be together forever. Awww...how sweet.....

UNTIL u actually do live together, and start arguing over who does the cleaning, who pays the damn utilities bill, who does the cooking, who irons the clothes. And heck, that is even before baby comes along! So with all these "pressures" of staying together, how do u suppose the fire of passion can stay lighted?!! And then comes the too frequently used line - "not tonight honey, I'm tired" :-p

So after hearing this from not one but several friends, a logical conclusion would be DON'T GET MARRIED. And if you do, live apart!

No come on, there must be a more logical way to this, right? Women magazines always advice 'interesting' stuffs like dressing up as a nurse, or surprising ur partner by being naked when he comes home, or preparing romantic candlelight dinners once a month...and the best...buying a full set of leather clothing and accessories to be used in the bedroom. *saliva dripping* BUT how many of u actually do that, huh huh? Try it lar!

For me sometimes being in a non-married relationship also can get boring. Maybe boring is not the right word. Maybe we should call it mundane? Or predictable? Ya!!! Predictable must be the word. It happens when you get so used to a person that you can tell everything that person is going to do, so there's no surprises left for u. And that leads to boringness. So this means that to keep the passion alive, you have to remain mysterious and unpredictable. If your romantic dinner is always at a western steak house, why not change to spicy Northern Indian the next time - guaranteed to make you sweat! Always dressed in t-shirt and jeans? Wear something captivating and sexy once a while to make your partner drool for you. If your usual 'playtime' location is in the bedroom, maybe the next time you can get horny in the kitchen? (ooo....don't forget to fully utilise all the fruits and owww..the ice..owww)

But please remember this everyone. Never equate passion to love. You may lose your passion for your partner, but that does not mean you have stopped loving him/her. Just because you don't feel like kissing ur partner, or jumping into bed with him/her, or you don't even miss them after not seeing them for a week, THAT DOES NOT mean you don't love anymore. Passion needs to be worked on sometimes. From all the Aunt Agony letters I read in the newspaper, I feel a lot of people have made this mistake. They meet someone new and get passionate about that person, and because of the raised passion they feel they are in love when in actual fact it is just plain lust. Because of their new found 'love', they drop their current partner to discover later they don't actually love the new one. So dear friends, do tread carefully. And of course don't forget that a piece of ice can be VERY PASSIONATE. (I speak from other's experience and not mine *angelic smile*)

In conclusion, love earnestly and sincerely. Sometimes love needs a bit of helping hand. So once a while add some sugar and spice into the relationship. Once a while remind your partner why they captivate you and what you love so much about them. Compliment them if they look good. Give each other more hugs and kisses. All small things, but could cause serious electrocution between you both ;) If all else fails, just say the 3 magical words - I love you. Never fails :D

TGIF!!

Whatsoever things are true…think on these things

2005-11-15T10:01:00.000+08:00

The other day I was having a round table conference with a bunch of my friends, and we were very troubled. Why? Coz a year ago, maybe 2 in fact, we were also gathered together in the same way, and thinking deeply on the very same matter we had that day. What do we want in life? It was troubling to know that we ask this question year after year, and year after year we still don’t have an answer to it! I don’t think any of us were stupid morons, but somehow I think we have just been programmed to continue each day as we did before. Heck I wanted to work part time at the pet shop for 4.50 an hour and they laughed at me saying my parking and petrol would cost more than what I would earn. Such encouraging friends you are!!!

Then today 3 different persons came to me to announce they are very bored with life, and that life has no meaning, love has no meaning, work has no meaning. And did you notice when people keep repeating the same thing to you over and over like a broken record, you tend to fall for it and believe it yourself? An example is my colleague who keeps telling me he has some resemblance to Leslie Cheung. In the beginning I wanted to vomit, but nowadays I see some attractiveness in him. Oopss…the key word is “SOME”. Anyway, why has life become so meaningless to most people nowadays? Even for me I must admit. If suicide was not such an unforgivable sin, I think most would have just finished off their mundane life on earth. I spend so much time thinking about where to find happiness, what I want for my future, how I want to be treated, how I want to love, what is right, what is wrong, where I should head in my career…that I suddenly realized why am I wasting so much time worrying and thinking about things that might never happen? The bible quote that guides me today is the title of this blog – Whatsoever things are true...think on these things.

Worried about paying off your house loan? Why worry because worry is just a guess that you might not be able to pay it off in future. But you can today right? So focus on what’s real. Wondering where you are heading in your career? Well stop it, because what you are doing today is real. Don’t continue to wonder when you will be the CEO or COO, because you can’t be any of those without perfecting what you are doing now. And only by focusing on it can you perfect it, right? Are you suspicious that your partner is cheating on you or lying to you about something? As long as the proof doesn’t hit you in the face, the truth is he/she is still your partner and you got to focus on making sure he/she remains your partner. So what’s the conclusion? I think it means live your life today and don’t worry about the possibilities of tomorrow.

Ok that dealt with continual living, but still doesn’t solve the part about ‘what do I want’. I would never know what I want at work that’s for sure. I just filled in my personal work review, and frankly I have no clue what nonsense I was filling in. I actually just wanted to write on the form in big bold letter “since you’re never gonna raise my salary and this review is just going straight into some filing cabinet, then why are you wasting my f**king time doing this”. But of course even on PMS days, I have a very logical mind :D

Next what do I want in love? The aunties in my office always remind me this – forget the looks, make sure he’s rich. And o, on some good days they might add – make sure he is faithful and caring. Oooo, for a moment I thought they just cared about the money...haha. I might as well be wishing for Brad Pitt to appear at my doorstep, right? What do I want, what do I want? I think at this moment I just want a man who’s there for me at every moment in my life, and not someone whom I have to be on guard with 24/7 and always doubting his intentions towards me. Ah..that reminds me about an interesting relationship discussion, but that should come in my next blog.

I think I’m tired already of thinking what I want. Only God knows what I truly want. Or maybe a certain Jason is right – maybe we should give ourselves time to sit down quietly and reflect peacefully within ourselves what we truly want. Well maybe one day…until then I would look forward to next year when I can gather round the table with my friends again and ask ourselves the question “What do I want” AGAIN! Cheers mate!

Chicken Lala-land Part II

2005-11-14T21:41:00.000+08:00

Finally I’m back from my long awaited holiday, and got to say once again – never have expectations or you’ll be disappointed! It all started rather comically at the airport when I landed, and kind of got “kidnapped” by the local taxi man who was actually trying to escape penalty fine from the policeman at the airport, and started driving me round the airport while I was negotiating my fees with him!

Then came all the tiring walks, not to mention the long haggling over which sites we should visit. And then it was the LONG LONG time it took to further negotiate taxi fares with unscrupulous taxi men who just refused to use the darn meter. Yeah, taxi man and a whole lot of other people left a very bad taste of this chicken land. In fact now I want to rename it to Con-Man land instead! Everywhere you turn someone who’s pretending to be helpful and kind is just waiting to pounce on you and rip some money off you. At least that’s what I felt at the end of my journey there. I think the one that took the cake was probably the assholes at the go-go bar call CASANOVA. Take note...never enter this dungeon! The girls in there were apparently up to Ung’s taste (BAD BAD taste Ung!!) If you’re one who’s into fat flabby body with manly face strutting their urrgh..breast and bums, then this is one place you cannot miss. For the rest of us who are sane and have good taste, this is one place to avoid at all cost. And they had the nerve to want to charge us additional fees for watching those ugly monsters pulling balls out of their pussy and shaking their fats on the bar top. Duh~~ even my dog would look better up there than them!

Overall top enjoyments of this trip:
1) Replenished my supply of lingeries…definitely cheaper and more designs available in Lala-land
2) Slurping down the nice yummy bird nest for only 300 Baht, and seeing SP go high on that. Weird girl to be getting high on bird’s saliva, but I guess some people do have preference for body liquids rather than drugs or alcohol :-p
3) Visiting the Royal Palace and wat wats (temples) in Ayutthaya. Well honestly I was more interested in meeting all those delicious looking Jap guys that were on tour there - until I found their makeup too faggot-ish and taste of clothing out of this world. Heck, but still delicious looking *slurp*
4) Cruising down the Chao Praya river and waiting for the canal gates to open.
5) Savoring the delicious seafood dinner over at Chinatown on our last night.

Overall top regrets :
1) Entering Casanova go-go bar and watching naked fat ladies (or were they men?!) pretending to be sexy. Word of advice from Lonely Planet, stick to the bars at ground level in which you can see the REAL hot babes. Highly recommended by Jay is King’s Castle, King Castle II, Queen’s Castle…and maybe some Pussy Doll?!
2) Missing out on an authentic thai massage! I really regret this one *sob..and double sob*
3) Missing out on the Floating Market, and instead being conned into visiting another floating market on the canal cruise. Best laugh was when boatman said “In front floating market” and all of us stick our head out to see. WAH….geesh, only one boat floating and that’s called a market! That must be the super con job of the year!
4) Spending only an hour in Juktuchak market. This weekend market is so freaking huge I think it would take at least a day to finish exploring it. Well at least less shopping = more money saved :(
5) Not braiding my hair aka hippy style at Khao San road. Would have been so cool to walk into my customer’s meeting and see their jaw drop in seeing they have hired a loony consultant. But then I think they already know that! :D

Ah well, so that was the lovely holiday. And trust me, holidays are so tiring! I need to work another year to gain some rest to recuperate…haha. Next on the list folks – JiuZhaiGou. Start saving your money, and start practicing on those mountain hikings. This time we’re not making Paul the tour guide – “yao yee sing, mou yan sing” bugger :-p Well at least this time he stayed off the chickens. Good boy!

Only the Lonely

2005-10-31T09:43:00.000+08:00

With tearful eyes a recently broken hearted friend asked me today "Aren't you lonely without a boyfriend?" Honestly speaking, I replied "No more as lonely as you were when you were with your ex". Why did I reply that? Because hers was a loveless partnership for months before the breakup. Having a boyfriend to her was like having no boyfriend because they led separate lives and barely spoke 10 sentences to each other in one month!

But anyway, of course I am lonely. It's definitely different having someone guaranteed to accompany you shopping or for dinner or to catch the latest movies. Heck, when I initially broke off with my ex, I was so lonely I almost went berserk trying to find things to keep myself busy. However, there is still hope. Get this tip firsthand from the expert - you'll get used to it *wink* It's an adventure of sorts too. Somehow lonely people get to discover other lonely people, and voila, you get a whole new bunch of friends.

Which brings me to an observation I made. Couples tend to hang on to a relationship no matter how boring, how empty it has gotten simply because they are afraid of being lonely once again. And I think that is sad. I'm not mocking these couples because I've been through it myself and know the fearfulness involved. But if you never throw away something old and useless, you can never discover something new and much more exciting. Right or not? Sure I might get lonely, and sure I fear living the rest of my life alone without a lifetime companion, but would you rather settle for someone than risk being lonely? Should we settle for someone simply because that person could provide you companionship? Why not a pet then?!? Pets will definitely give u less headaches and heartbreaks :p

Jokes aside, loneliness is really in the head. If you think you are lonely, then you will feel lonely. But if you seize the moment, then you can change that loneliness into fulfilling moments. Maybe God put those empty moments into your life to allow you to concentrate on other equally important things in your life. Maybe it's breathing space for you to take a step back and evaluate your own needs. I know of friends who "lose" themselves in a relationship, and it takes a breakup to allow them the chance to see the identity that they have lost. Or maybe you just needed the rest. Personally, my loneliness has taught me about self resilience and self sufficiency. It made me realized the goodness that I have thrown away in the past and going forward this would be beneficial to ensure I am more appreciative of the people that are to come into my life. And if God's will is for me to be alone, then Thy will be done. The more you fight it, the more you will drown, riiiiiigghhhhttt?? :)

Finally thank you MC for your entertaining news today. FYI, MC called me so very excitedly to tell me he saw my ex holding the hands of another woman. Now, that would not have been the most happening news to me, BUT MC did comment I was 100 times better looking! yahoo!! Yipee!! OK OK, I exaggerated. He said only 10 times :-p AND YES, I know love is not about looks, and he probably dumped me coz he couldn't stand my damn demanding and hard headed personality, BUT I'm still smiling ears to ears. It's good to be a bitch for once :DTo my ex, I wish you all happiness...really...sincerely from the very bottom of my heart. Without you, I would not have gone through the learning period of loneliness, and evolved a fitter and bitchier version. Arigato gozaimasu!!!

And to the rest, Happy Deepavali and Hari Raya and especially a great happy holidays to all Malaysians. I'm finally off to Bangkok!!! After 4 months of waiting, it's finally happening! Who says a single girl gotta be lonely *wink*

And times passes by..

2005-10-25T17:52:00.000+08:00

As we go into the month of November, it suddenly dawned on me how fast time really flew by this year. Well in fact every year since hitting the age of 25 *duh* And like every other year, it's been pretty much an eventful year despite the fact I keep complaining about how boring life is :)

This year has been a pretty challenging year for me both at work and personally. In both aspects, I have grown to be more independent each day, and to be less bothered about people's attitude towards me. It's right to say one can never please everyone, but as long as I feel what I do is right and do it sincerely and honestly, then I only need to answer to myself and to God. It's amazing that sometimes with all our good intentions; we can still offend others and even step on some little toes on the way. But true friends and true professionals will take it all in their stride, and move ahead. It's a bit harder with mummy though, coz she expects me to bow and say sorry, and hold a tea cup at a level above my head :-p

This has also been a tumultuous year for many around the world. After barely surviving the fury of the tsunami last year, we now have earthquakes that strikes at the beginning of cold winter, and of course all those weird viruses that flies around with the birds. Not to forget we lost our most beloved First Lady Datin Endon L So do you not think it’s time u got down on your knees to thank God that despite how depressing and hopeless your life seems, well, at least you still got a life and you still have a nice warm bed to sleep in plus at least one person around you who cares for you? I surely will do that. Coz I even have my nice cute adorable doggy to sleep with for 2 nights recently J

So dear customers who drives me crazy with insane requests, dear friends who haunt me with weird questions and antics, dear bees who keep asking me why I don’t miss you and dear fans who encourages me to continue writing on this blog, it’s been great meeting each and every one of you. Sure there are days you make me want to jump down my 8th floor building or shout to the world how much I hate assholes, but heck, you sure made my life interesting and of course time flew by faster with you around. Not to mention my blood pressure increasing. Good mah, encourage blood circulation ;)

Friends

2005-10-18T11:16:00.000+08:00

Here we stand at a crossroad again, like u said, in times the seasons change…Looking back, we recall the blessing and the pain….but we turn our heart towards what is still to come, want to dream again….

That was a nice song that a good friend shared with me this morning. And it makes me think how important a friend really is in your life. Partners may come in and out of my life, but my friends always remain steadfast and strong. I can even say I am closer to my friends than I am to my real brother and sister. For me, my friends are my brothers and sisters. They are the ones I care for, and who cares for me.

During this moment in life when I am at a crossroad myself, and my heart is torn in dilemma, I am glad to know that I can still be thankful to God for He has blessed me with such an abundant of wonderful friends. Each of you is so special in your own ways, and each of you is a light of encouragement when life seems so mundane, and so hopeless. How could I possibly be sad when you bring laughter into my life? How could I possibly be lonely? I’m getting sentimental today – maybe some hormonal problem * as usual blame it on the hormones * But I just thought if I were to leave the world today, I wouldn’t want to leave it without telling you all that life has been a journey. It’s been a wonderful journey to share with all of you, and I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. I wouldn’t have wanted any other friends. Maybe some of you don’t party, but you are the ones who keep my feet on the ground. And maybe some of you party too much, but thank you for opening my eyes to the corrupted world. Thank you to those who listen to all my boyfriend problems, those who let me puke in their car when I got mind-exploding drunk, those who wipe my tears away when life was a dead-end, those who celebrated with me when life was good, those who listened to my nonsense and accepted it as true fact, but most of all, thank you for picking me up when I stumbled and fell. Without you all, my life would have been incomplete. YALAR, know that sounds like a line from ‘Secret Garden’ but it’s true mah!

God Bless you all, and may each and every one of you have loads and loads of friends who themselves are as good as you.

What Is Love?

2005-10-14T08:17:00.000+08:00

Let's talk about love today :)
Someone just told me he's getting married, and after he gets married, he does not want to talk to me anymore. I find that rather funny, because then does it means he sees me as a temptation, or a distraction. And if so, what is the point of his marriage?

Anyway, what exactly is love? Many times the words 'I love u' has been said to me, but so far I never felt that love lasting. So does that mean 'love' is only a temporary feeling? Ask anyone what is love, and you get a variety of ideas. Some say love happens when you can't get a person out of your head ie. that person is in ur mind the minute you wake up, and is the last person u think about as u drop to sleep. Others say love is true when you trust the other person with your life, and when you too are willing to sacrifice your life for the person you love. Or is love the feeling one has when you get weird funny happy feeling inside ur tummy when you meet someone? What about the fact that you feel like kissing someone or making love to someone - is that considered love too?

How do we differentiate love from lust, love from crush, and love from infatuation? The world has gotten so complicated that sometimes you can't even tell if your own family loves you, what more a total stranger? I used to think that if I love someone, I would think about him all the time, I would wanna see him all the time, I would not be able to lay my hands off that person. But that's not really true right? I too have told many guys I loved them, but do I really love them? Can't be right if I can live without them now. Heck, sometimes I don't even think about them anymore *ooppppsss*

So what is love lah?!! A book I read said that if you love someone then you must be willing to serve him. What does this mean? Well basically it means you must be willing to sacrifice your own happiness and comfort, willing to accept and forgive the person's wrongdoings and bad points, willing to stand by the person's through thick and thin, willing to die for him. And despite all those willingless, you are not to demand ANYTHING. If he/she becomes shitty to you, then you need to bow down and accept it, be patient and believe that he/she will change because of your great love. I think I would call that real extreme love. If that is love, then what is torture?!!

Ah, maybe that's why I've never been successful in love. Coz I demand too much. I expect to be the one to be served..haha. Well, I'm changing ok...God has not finished His work in me. I would like to have a love like that of my parents. After 20 over years of marriage, I would still want to look into the eyes of my man and see his love shinning through. I would like him to see me smile and tell me I am his sweetest angel on earth. Despite our white hair or baldness, we would still be holding hands when we go out together, and we would have no qualms about hugging and kissing each other in public. And most of all, I would love to be able to lie with him in bed and feel nothing but total happiness and security. And of course hope that I would die before he does!

Which reminds me, colleague of mine was talking about a man who visited his wife's gravestone everyday without fail to be with her. Do we call that love or madness? Is it not just a fine line between both? Why else they would call it 'madly in love' *wink*

So everyone, I wish u good luck in your quest to find true love. Whatever your idea of true love may be, remember it's a 2 way thing. Give and you shall receive. And don't forget to love God above all else, for God's love is eternal and ever forgiving.

Excitement

2005-10-10T13:12:00.000+08:00

22 Days, 18 Hours more to what would be the most exciting holiday for me this year. Well I haven't had any holiday this year, have I? So considering that fact, Bangkok would be my most exciting holiday eventhough people keep asking me "why bangkok". I think for me, any place on a holiday will be a good place. Any place with good friends and fun company will be a good place :) Any place with great cheap shopping is DEFINITELY a great place.

So here I sit in my boring office cubicle enjoying my lunch break, thinking why is life so unexciting sometimes. And I came up with my list of 10 most exciting things that happened to me. I made sure too that this list had nothing to do with love or guys or guys-love or jerks-love or idiot bastard- love. Hehe...u get what I'm trying to get at soon :D

Here goes ...in no particular order :
1) Climbing up a water reservoir in Wangsa Maju in the middle of the night. When u get right up to there, you can hear the water gushing really loudly below, and you can feel the wind swirling around you. Imagine loud water sound, wind howling, pitch darkness and a hole you can drop through into the water. Errm, definitely not something I would wanna be doing now at my old age!!!

2) Waiting in line outside Sunway Lagoon for Malaysia's first bungee Jumping. Can't even recall the time, but it was definitely at some odd early morning hour..maybe 12am we queued till 5 or 6 am. Only to be told it's been cancelled!!! Bugger, ok it wasn't exciting, but the thought of doing bungee jumping was exciting, and it was good fun just lining up with my bunch of friends.

3) Running around the mountain and valley of Gotthard Pass in Switzerland/Italy with Paul and Soon Peng. Gosh I never felt such peacefulness and joy! It was just like being in a scene of Sound of Music. The excitement was seeing all those big bikers racing down the mountains, and just sitting on the grass munching on our apples, and having some kungfu fight with Paul.Darn, I miss it *sob*

4) Going cave crawling in the Dark Cave in Batu Caves. Wooa man, it was darn exciting being surrounded by a wall of cave cockroaches. I could have swore my legs were like jelly as I walked through that section. Even more exciting was crawling on my tummy through a really small hole in the cave, and my body all engulfed in wet guano. Eeww..natural facial. Smelt good too :-p
*warning: do not attempt if waist diameter above 30 cm *

5) Riding on a bike all the way from Setapak to a disco in Sunway called HEAVEN. I never been allowed to ride a bike, and man, riding on one for such a long distance was just too much. By the time I reach there I was shivering cold, and my bum just totally numb! And then my friends tried to revive me by feeding me something called 'Flaming Lamborgini'. Heck, nothing flaming about it except for the smoke coming out of my ears after that :D

6) Entering an Orang utan sanctuary in Kota Kinabalu. Those creatures must be the cutest most adorable animals ever, and they are sooooo human-like. But I had this bad memory of reading about how an Orang Utan raped a woman, and got her pregnant. So naturally I was a bit jumpy when I came across some of those "manly" looking orang-utans...keke..But honestly, I do think they are cuter than some men we see in town :-p

7) Being "flased" by a pervert while walking back from primary school. U know u always hear about flashers, but u never expect to see one. And this bugger was hiding behind some banana trees. And the most idiotic thing of all was the fact I was only probably about 8 or 9 years old, and being innoccent little angel, I had no idea what a "bird" was. Now I whack myself for not having gone closer to check out what it actually looked like. Hohoho..hahaha...must have been too small till it did not stick in my memory at all! Pooooooooor little guy..

8) Working in a liquor warehouse while awaiting for my SPM results. I was a data entry clerk in the warehouse, but it was a pretty small warehouse and all of us got on really well and had loads of fun. First time I got to ride around on a forklift, or do stock counting. So it seems my interest in logistic started when I was young, so no wonder I grew up now to become one of the most successful logistic consultant in Malaysia, and some say Singapore. **OK, let me blow trumpet a bit can or not!!** Anyway what was so exciting about this warehouse was the fact it was filled with alcohol and I learnt all about my alcohol and liquor and Malaysian Duty Not Paid from there :D

9) Discovering an ancient dinousaur footprint in Korea. Ok it just looked like some hole in the rock, but I finally believed it was the curse of the dinosaur when I stepped into on of those "footprints" and slipped and fell tumbling into the cold river. Got my shin hurt and bleeding, and then I could declare I had a dinosaur "footprint" on my shin.

10) Doing a tarzan act with my bro and cousins in our old house. Our house used to be higher than our neighbours, and so happened the fence was kinda drooping down into their compound. Our neighbour had some coconut trees planted just next to our compound, and we just loveeeed hanging onto these leaves, and swinging ourselves into their compound. But finally had to stop that when one day I landed on the fence instead of the ground. Ouch...stupid fence poked into my beautiful smooth backside and I landed up getting a jab, and nice LONG LONG scolding from my folks. Hey, I am TARZAN ok..I'm supposed to be able to pass that darn fence!

Ok...took me longer than i thought I would need...now was pass my working time. Boss, I'm sorry. I will work extra hard, and put in 2 more hours OT today. Cheers :D

Who are we to Judge?

2005-10-06T12:20:00.000+08:00

For those of you who read The Star newspaper, I think you would not have missed the photo
of this pretty lady called Jessie Chung. What was so special about Jessie Chung was the fact that she was once Jeffrey Chung. Yeap..she's one of Paul's favourite ladyboy. Well now she's every bit a lady except for the adam's apple on her throat, and she's even a regular church worker. Now this started a sort of discussion between me and LL. LL is of the opinion that whether or not Jessie is doing good charitable work in helping the public, yet the fact she had a sex change is still WRONG. If God meant for her to be a girl, He would have made her a girl. It is not up to her to take matters into her own hands and change herself from a man into a woman.

I agree with that to some degree. I think we should all be satisfied with what God bestowed upon us, and not be thinking of ways and means to become something else. However, I also believe it is unfair for us to judge someone based on what we know teoritically. Sure we know it's wrong to change your sex, but do we really know how it feels to be having the body of a man, and yet everything else about you feels like a woman? Do we actually even come close to feeling the confusion and mental aguish these kind of people would probably feel during their years of discovering their true self?

It's very easy for us to judge others, but it will never be easy for us to be judge by others. Probably everyone of us hides something about ourselves from people around us for fear of being judge. I greatly feel that one should not, and do not have the right to judge another if you yourself has not been through the same situation that the person goes through. It's easy for us to be disgusted by a girl who aborts her baby, but would we have done the same if we were that girl with NIL future, runaway boyfriend whom she thought loved her and parents who would disown her? What about the bank robber whom we all call the scumbag of society? Would you not have also desperately taken the same path if that was your only way of gaining enough money to save someone you love? And the poor girl whom we call a slut simply because she fell in love with someone else's husband. Do you think any girl would actually want to be 2nd place - sharing the heart of a man with another and constantly waiting to have her stolen moments together? And I'm sure most of us have judge our friend's relationships at one point in time. We can say "hey u stupid girl, don't u see the guy's a jerk. Why can't u just dump him?". Yeah right, easier said than done. As a person who has been with a jerk, I can personally say when u're in love, the jerk looks
and feels like a prince. It's just not that easy to say to yourself HE SUCKS! HOW can we judge someone if we have never been in their shoes and experienced their wrongdoing? HOW can we judge someone if we have not been through the same situation and walked away doing the RIGHT thing?

It's true things are either Right or Wrong, and there is never an in-between. On the other hand, a decision can never be a right or wrong.We can never do something that will pleases everyone. I think the piece of advice from my good friend CKL is true. (Btw, CKL just told me he came back from the brink of death due to some tubing accident in Danum Valley). CKL said that whatever decision one makes, just be sure it makes you happy and that it harms no other person. Life is short indeed. Don't waste your time judging others, but rather start by looking at yourself.

COP really needs a break from life....I'm addicted to my blog !! Heck that is sick!

In the hands of Temptation

2005-09-28T16:49:00.000+08:00

Psalm 139 in the Bible goes something like this :
O lord, thou hast searched me, and known me. Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off. Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways. For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O LORD, thou knowest it altogether. Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it. Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence? If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.

In this modern day and time, many temptations lay ahead of us as an individual. And it takes a really strong soul to resist them all. We can run and we can hide from everyone, but at the end of the day, we cannot escape ourselves. And surely we cannot escape from God's judgement.

I have trouble sleeping for the past few days. Something bothers me very much, because I'm usually someone who can sleep really well and won't even awake if there was a bomb explosion next door. Suddenly I have done something that is against my own principles, and yet I did it. Why? Because it was a temptation. But my Father has put a heavy burden unto my heart. He wants me to acknowledge my mistake and fix it. I don't like rolling around my bed seeking for an answer, or a fix. I don't like denying what I should and have to do, but heck it's really so much easier to turn a blind eye and continue to do what is not right.

I do not have the strength. I do not have the heart. I can only pray for the strength of God to help me out. It's hard to do something right, and even harder to let go of something that is so right :(

Why is life like such a rollercoaster??!! And why are there so many idiotic leeches in this human land. And why do people get defensive when they are in the wrong?!! Why do they shoot at everyone who's innoccently trying to give them a solution? Why are humans so bloody inconsiderate and self-centred? But who am I to ask when I am the one who fell into temptation? !! AAAARRGHHHHHHH...........

Why I vote for Daniel

2005-09-26T13:25:00.000+08:00

Enough of people questioning me on this and insinuating I am racist/ lala-mui/ boy band lover. First of all, I am NOT a racist person. I do not like a person simply based on the color of the skin. O yeah, we're talking about Malaysian idol here. Our Malaysian idol had a Malay girl, Nita competing against a chinese guy, Daniel.

Daniel was the underdog. Here was an amateur guy pitting against a club singer with 8 years of experience backing her. Sure her voice was great, and she was at her best on the finale night. But I still prefer Daniel. Daniel is the one with potential!!! One should see the diamond within the dirty carbon. Here is a guy who grew day by day with his talents. And heck, if 68% of voters thought he was worth it, he should have SOMETHING right. Anyway, an idol is the whole package. Not just the voice. An idol is someone who can appeal to a wide mass of people. And he did just that. Cheeky, humble, talented, and determined. That's my idol, and he's only proven my votes weren't wasted on him. AND NO, he is not handsome. He's cute - in a cheeky boyish way :)
Heck, mummies and little girls like him enough to vote...now that's what a real IDOL should be like - one your mummy approve of.

Greatest Present On Earth

2005-09-22T23:11:00.000+08:00

Do u know what is the best present you could ever give someone you love? I think a lot of us are always stuck what to get our partners during special occasions, and we go all out to buy jewelleries and electronic gadgets to win the heart of the one we love. Well I found the answer written in a book and the best gift is....*drum rolls*...TIME.

The famous saying goes that time is money, so that further means that the more time you give to your love one, the more "expensive" your present is to them. Probably some people might beg to differ coz for them spending too much time with the partner is like being in a torture chamber or prison :-P Hmm, in that case they might actually need to rethink if they should even be with that person.

For me I think every second on earth spent with the one you love is a time well spent and to be cherished. Most of us always get so distracted by things in life like work and play and TV that we tend to take it for granted that our love ones will be there waiting for you the whole of your life. Sometimes it takes a separation, or worse, a tragedy to make you realise the amount of time you have wasted on things that actually doesn't matter in life. Do you think you'll be thinking about that report you have to hand in to the boss during your last seconds alive? Or would it matter if 'Malaysian Idol' finale would be coming on a few minutes after your death? No, probably the last thing that will flash before you as you lay dying are the ones that you love and would leave behind.

I can say that I learnt from experience about lost time. I lost my daddy before I realised he was old and he enjoyed me spending time with him. I used to think I had so much time to spend with him that I could always do it the next day, or the next week, or maybe even next year. Yeah, I'll bring mum and dad on a holiday next month....or maybe treat dad to a nice dinner next week. Well there is no tomorrow when death comes knocking on the door. There is only but regret. Regret that I could not have fulfilled my dreams to be a superb daughter who brightened the final days of my dad's life. But what God takes, He giveth. And in this he gave me a lesson to learn, and the lesson is don't take for granted the ones that you love.

It's not only about old parents, but it's also about your partners and even your pets. O my poor Bunny who's gone MIA, I wished I had given you a proper grooming and a loving kiss before you left me. I curse anybody who so much have skin you to throw into a cooking pot. %$$@%@!#@#%. ASSHOLES!!

Anyway remember it doesn't take that much time or effort to make someone/something you love happy. Sometimes all your gf wants is a listening ear and not a wall to talk to. And your bf probably want you to spend some time looking at him rather than staring at the TV. Or the wife just want a little holiday break from her hectic housework and spend it romantically with you. And of course the dog would be overjoyed if you sat her down and let her lick your face with love :)

This article is dedicated to the memories of my beloved and best in the world DAD, and also to my most patient and faithful old dog, Ms.Bunny.....may both your souls rest in peace.

Office - Work or Play?

2005-09-16T16:56:00.000+08:00

Recently heard about a very interesting scandal that happened right here in Malaysia involving 3 employees of a big multinational company located in KL. The rumours floating around seems to suggest that these 3 "close" colleague consisted of 2 guys and a gal, and somehow one was err..shagging the other, and the other was also bunking the 3rd one. But things got out of hands when a 4th party got jealous of the cosy relationships and made a big commotion, hence attracting the attention of the management. The ending of story...u guess.

Anyway, me being in such a small, empty office seems to have kinda lost touch with the outer world. I never knew office relationships have gotten so complex :) Makes me tempted to go join bigger organisations. Haha. Ok joke aside. What has become of society today? Have we all become so low in moral that we forget our responsibilities to our work and to our partners just for the sake of a few lustful illicit sex? And why is sex so overrated that people can do all sort of nonsense just to satisfy themselves? Before anyone start calling me a prick or a virgin mary, u better watch ur mouth coz I smack real hard!

First and foremost, an attached person should NEVER look around. Keep ur eyes focus on yourself, your partner and your family. Leave the fishes in the sea to the other poor fishermen/woman who have not managed to get any.

Second, one should always avoid an office affair. It's like opening up a can of worms. How exactly does one not mix personal with work when you are sleeping together? And what happens when the relationship turns sour? Are we opening ourselves to sexual harassment charges? FYI, it's not right to tell a colleague his bum looks tight even if it does. It's not right to tell a colleague she looks delicious enough to lick. And it's definitely not right to be telling her that you have a bird that's free and it's surrounded by balls. Ahemm....potato man?! U get my hint?

Third, if you do have an affair with a colleague, for goodness sake, don't do your dirty business where you both work! But I guess that adds to the excitement of those stolen kisses, and flirty touches. The unforbidden fruit always taste the sweetest right? But don't be stupid lar! Risking a career for a man or woman. Too high a sacrifice.

Lastly, if you must have an affair in the office, make sure it's with someone who can pull u up the corporate ladder. Now that's a smart affair. Hahahaha. At least worth the risk RIGHT?! But I am in no way encouraging this action. But may I add, better still if that person is famous so you can even blackmail him. Err..was I the one asking what happen to moral of society today? **head bang**

Anyway, just be smart. Don't do it until the whole world knows about it and even write about it their blog :-P

Drink, Drank, Drunk (Parental Guidance Required)

2005-09-11T23:55:00.000+08:00

Drinking is bad for health. No, got to be more specific. Drinking ALCOHOL is bad for the health. Just like smoke, sex and gambling, it is one of the vices and great sin of life. It promotes promiscuity, abuses, murder, gang fights, breaks up marriages and families. So if money is root of all evil, then drinking is root of all violence.I should know, coz I am a victim of such violence.

It started out when a bunch of us met up for a "small" drinking session, and ended up it was quite a "medium" drinking session. Everyone was happy but blurr, and that was when I made my mistake. Getting into a car/jeep/lorry/whatever that is too high while wearing a short skirt is mistake #1. Mistake #2 was trusting that the driver was concious and sane when he obviously couldn't walk in a straight line. Not wearing a seat belt is Mistake #3. Mistake #4 was being high and blurr AND not wearing a selt belt!! Next thing I knew, my head was knocking against the window (and I have a bruise on my forehead to attest to that) and then my head was on some girl's lap. Mistake #5 was of course trying to grab the girl to steady myself, coz then I was accused of becoming LES.Aarghhh.... The evils of alcohol!!! But heck that was fun :D

So I've gotten tired of reading about the perils of alcohol and decided that I should instead find some goodness out of the alcohol. Here's a list of good reasons to drink and drink and drink :

1) Drinking may be bad for the health, but it's certainly good for the soul. Drinking too much makes u happy...well for that moment. Suddenly the world is such a jolly fun place to be in, and everyone becomes your best friend...for a girl, that would means plenty of guys suddenly wanna be ur good friend too :-p

2) And for ladies, after drinking a few rounds and ur eyes start to blurr a bit, you will find more handsome guys around u. I noticed that KL Clubbing scene doesn't have much leng chai, but when u become drunk and your eyesight fails u, u'll suddenly see lots of hunks with killer looks. Ah...to be cheated this way I admit is really cheating yourself.

3) Alcohol especially beer promotes a good circulation of blood and water in the body. Ever notice how ur heart pumps ever so fast to send those blood rushing to your head and trying to keep you awake? And notice too how often you need to go to the loo after a few shots of alcohol? Constant walks to the Loo is a good form of exercise :)

4) With the onset of drunkeness, your body also starts to lose its sense of smell. And that is really good when you need to go to the loo so often. No more stinky toilets :)

5) Alcohol in the blood also makes one a good hot dancer. Thought u didn't have the moves? Well, when u're drunk, u think no one dances as hot as u. And sometimes u might even need to be restraint from jumping up the bar to show off your "cool" moves.

6) A high enough amount of alcohol in the bloodstream is a good form of "detoxification"? Don't believe? Try it next time. Drink urself insane and wait for the moment we drinkers dread. That's the moment when the body rejects all rubbish in the system, and u start to throw up. Usually u'll be throwing up by the roadside in front of Teow Chow porridge (fav. throwing up place of a certain missy screaming "I want my hubby"), in front of Kim Gary (ahem..ahem..mr.cf good memories??), in some good samaritan's car (*guilty*) or the worst ..with the head hanging in the toilet bowl. Whatever favourite position it is, the end of that process guarantees total cleanout of the body system, and possibly a shirt dripping with disgusting puke.

Wow, I did not know the list could grow this long. Now I know why I just love my alcohol. But everyone, remember...you always have to bear the consequences of your actions. Being drunk may be fun, but only for the moment while it last. The after effects are usually not worth it at all. No one likes a hangover. I should know. I've been asleep dead on my bed most of today. What a waste of good fruitful time!!

COP tells u to say NO to alcohol.....unless you're out to have some mighty good crazy fun *wink*

All is not lost when you lost love

2005-09-06T23:59:00.000+08:00

About 9 months ago, I met and fell in love with a man. From the onset of the relationship, I felt he was the ONE. Unlike my past boyfriends, from the beginning I already knew that this was the man I wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life with. His smile could brighten up my moodiest days. His care could warm the coldest heart. His touch could send warm waves through my body. His thoughtfulness could win even my mother's heart. He was a man who was everything to me, and he would have been the man I'd been willing to lay my life down for. For him I was
submissive, for him I was obedient, for him I would have foregone everything - but my self-worth. For nothing is perfect in this world, and in every perfect man there is a flaw. And this was the flaw that tore the relationship apart.

He cried the day he told me we needed to break off. And I cried endless buckets of tears upon hearing the news. I always thought that love could overcome all problems and all issues, but who was I kidding? My heart shattered to pieces. I was overseas then, and being away alone in a faraway lonely land, I felt I had no reason more to live. My days just went by like a drama. I was the lead actress pretending to be a happy kid. But inside, all I felt was pain and sorrow and disbelieve. How could this happen to me....yeah exactly like the song Simple Plan sang.

Days became weeks, and weeks became months. Finally i return to meet him once again. To close a happy/sad chapter in my life. Was ironic that my first meeting with him would be with him lying in a hospital bed. I shoke with nervousness when I saw him, and my heart beat so fast I thought I could almost faint. I wanted so much to hold him in my arms and tell him I still love him so much. But my hurt held that back. Here was a man I wanted to hate, and I really should hate. But all I could feel was sorrow for losing him. How could something so good turn so rotten? How could love become heartache? How could he tell me how crazy he is about me one day, and then tell me he needs to stop loving me the next?

And that would always be a part of life mystery. I'm writing about this not to bring bad bad memories for myself, but I'm doing this because I want to share my experience with a close personal friend of mine who reads this blog. You know who you are, and I want to tell you that not everything is lost when you lose Love. The day I heard those words of "Let's break up" on the telephone, I thought I never wanted to see tomorrow. The days I went thru in pain and suffering, I thought life was just empty without him. The day I met up with him, I thought why can't he just say he love me once again. BUT TODAY, I survived and I live on.

I can be honest and let you know I still cry when I think of him. I cry because I am sad. I am sad because I feel so much waste that he failed the relationship before he even tried to make it work. I am sad because he did not know how to value the 100% love I had for him. But this does not mean I am not happy in life. Today I have grown one level more matured. I know that time heals all wounds, and indeed it can heal even the most broken heart. It is true that loving someone doesn't mean that someone has got to be by your side. Loving someone means letting them go if that is what will make them happier. What is more important is to love yourself. Your life does not revolve around one person, and that one person is definitely not thinking about you either. Life is but a short moment, and we need to spend our time on earth in a wise manner. Do not waste your time and energy on someone who doesn't think twice when hurting you, and gives you empty promises about life. Trust your inner instinct and never follow your heart. The heart always lie, but the brains is the smart one. If your brain can tell you that someone is not right for you, listen to it. I know it's really hard to let someone you love go. But believe me, there is a life after a broken heart. We should only build our life with someone who appreciate us, and not someone who takes us for granted.

Do not give up on love though it may have hurt you. Believe that God has someone more special prepared for you. And all these hurt are just preparation in life so that you would come to appreciate and cherish the one chosen for you. Give life a chance, and you'll find it's not really all that bad. Hey, being single is fun too :) Like the saying goes - it is better to be alone, than to be with someone who's not right for you. Cry if you must, but when the tears has dried up, that's the time to party !!! Cheer up friend :D

And lastly, thanks to all my wonderful friends who supported me in my times of depression. Without you, life would indeed have been meaningless.

I hate Motorbikes

2005-09-06T09:21:00.000+08:00

Motorbikes , motorbikes...why are they everywhere??!!!
Why did the road builders not build a separate lane for motorbikes??
Why do motorbikes have to weave in and out of traffic? Don't they know car drivers have blind spots and cannot see them all that easily?
I don't want to hate motorbikes, but they really irritate me a lot when I am driving. Why do they always think that we should be seeing them coming when we are changing lanes. It's enough I have to see the car in front of me, and the car besides me, and the car behind me, and the policeman hiding in the bushes, how many eyes must I have on my head to see that little Mat-biker coming on his Honda-kap. And it really pisses me when they give me the DEATH STARE just because I did not see them coming!!! What u think I purposely see you and stick my car out so I can kill you ah?!!! You think I want my car to be bang by your donkey bike? You think I like your blood splattered on my clean polished car?!!
I know not all motorcyclist are like this and it's not fair to generalise them all, and I apologise to those who drives nicely.

And COP continues to complain...endlessly about life...but but but I really don't like motorbikes.

Mahjong, Money and Forgiving

2005-09-04T23:23:00.000+08:00

I'm starting to worry a lot about myself. It seems like I am getting more abnormal lately. Maybe it's an age thing, or maybe it's stress at work, but something really not-quite-me is happening to me. First of all, I've started learning to play mahjong. Mahjong is supposed to be a game played during chinese new year, or by senior citizens daily when they have too much time on their hands. It's not CNY, and though I am old but I don't think I'm qualified to be a senior citizen, and neither do I have loads of time on my hand. But the opportunity came up for me to learn it from a mahjong sifu, and I thought why not. But heck I think I got to perfect my chinese 1st. Right now I still can't differentiate between the north, south , east , west in chinese!! And that seems to be such a major thing. And it takes me twice as long to figure out what number I am holding when it's written in chinese. And finally my brains just can't strategise fast enough to win a game. Geesh, now I really respect those aunties who can't even operate a computer, but can win rounds and rounds of mahjong!! I left my lesson feeling a little dejected because my failure in the game made me feel that I would be a failure to be a tai-tai in life *tears streaming down my face* O yeah, tai-tai means a rich lady of the house who has nothing better to do than look pretty, spend her husband's money and play mahjong whole day. If I can't be a tai-tai, that means I have to work my whole damn life! O jolly, o yippee *I am trying to sound real excited here!*

Based on what I've been writing so far, I think most people would think I'm a kinda materialistic girl. And I don't blame u guys if you thought so coz I myself thought I was...until recently. I always tell other girls, who cares if the guy loves u or not, if he's rich, just "trap" him. Since every guy is bound to be unfaithful, better to depend on the money than the person. Yeah right..was so convincing that I almost believed it myself! Alas, there are silly girls out there just like me who are sentimental fools. We go for guys who make us lovey dovey, and set our heart beating like there's no tomorrow. So I got asked out by 2 guys whom I am sure are good guys, and definitely guys who could make me a rich enough tai-tai..but darn, I rejected them and I am still whacking myself with a hammer for this! What in my freaking hormones have made me forgotten that MONEY is the all important thing in a man??!!! But heck, I really feel no Uummph for them. So I think I'm really going totally not myself anymore, and I seriously need some counselling.

So then God answered my prayer with a question that I actually asked in one of my earlier posting. Today my pastor spoke those scary words again. WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF LIFE? Aarrrgghhh.....when will we ever stop asking this question I wonder.Well I didn't get the answer from the pastor coz his voice was so soothing that I kinda started daydreaming. Daydreaming is good, coz in a way it's my method of communicating with God. Don't you doubt that because at the end of my daydream, I had another question. Yeah, God seems to like adding questions into my life. Maybe he knows I am bad in mahjong so he tries to "oil" my brains a bit and set the engine running. Anyway, the question is "How do u forgive?". I always thought forgiving was abt accepting a person's wrongdoing towards u. Pretty simple no? But now I know forgive and forget are not 2 words, they must actually come as one in order for true forgiveness to happen. What's the point of forgiving but not forgetting? Remembering something u've forgiven only serves to torture oneself, and end up u're stuck in a rut while the other party happily moves on without a thought for you. Sooo..what am I getting at??!! My brain engine is still trying to digest all this and make some sense out of it. Gulp~~ that's another weird thing. I'm getting slower with my brains!!

COP is just not COP anymore :(

Merdeka!!

2005-08-31T22:58:00.000+08:00

Today is the national independence day of Malaysia. And every Malaysian ..well almost every..is a day of celebration. Some celebrate for the right reasons, while others celebrate it simply because it's a holiday and they don't need to work. For me, it's just any other day. So much for my patriotism huh?

But after a nice relaxing afternoon nap, I took some quiet time to reflect on Malaysia as it is today. And I must say I simply and truly love my country (despite the fact that I disobeyed orders to fly the national flag on my car!). People have often asked me would I be willing to migrate overseas, and in the course of my work I often been offered an opportunity to relocate overseas, but somehow I am unable to explain why when I think of leaving my beloved land, my heart grows heavy. Sure there is a lot of crap in the country, and a lot of complaints, but heck, which country is actually perfect? I don't think even the U of S of A is perfect , is it?

Somehow for a lot of people the grass is always greener on the other side....and a lot somehow think that Malaysia consist only of lalang and cow-grass!! Shame on those of you because we are indeed very fortunate to be living in a land that is generally peaceful and harmonious. People say that it's dangerous in Malaysia, but let's not compare ourselves to the controlled land tht's located south of us. I can still drive around alone in my car in the middle of the night :D

And people complain about the jam and the tolls. They should try going to Bangkok. And I was in Netherlands, and it's jam there too. In fact people actually take 1-2 hours to get to work and they're so used to it that I don't hear them complaining! And don't forget how high their taxes are so that explains why they don't have as much toll roads as us. And the petrol...don't even talk about how expensive fuel is compared to ours!!

What about shopping?!! Do you know how great it is to be able to finish work and yet still be able to go shopping after that? Your night activities are so varied. Now if I were to be stuck in UK, I only have 2 choices - the pub or the telly at home. Shops close by 5 except on Thursday. Imagine if that happens here, we will have plenty of lepak-ing people in the tamans. AND THE MOST important thing about Malaysia compared to any other country in the world. THE FOOD!!! Yummy.....Which other place can u wake up at 3am in the morning and still be able to find a warm nasi lemak or sizzling hot roti canai to eat? WHERE? WHERE?

So guys....no more asking. I love my country. I was born here, I will live here, and I will die here. For my country, I pledge my loyalty. And may God protect and bless this beautiful land I call home.

Work - Do or Die?

2005-08-29T23:19:00.000+08:00

I'm not feeling very happy now. In fact I'm feeling rather tired. Rather pissed. Very irritated. And my whole freaking body is aching. Then I wonder why am I feeling so "out" and it all boils down to a mail I just received. It's a "love letter" from a client. Not so much full of loving words I would say. More like words with nouns like "you must", "I expect you", "give it to me ASAP". All very self-centred words I would say. Usually I would just take this mail and meekly accept it's demand and fulfill its commandments, but today I'm really tired. I just finished a meeting with another customer that ran on and on for almost 10 hours, and then I come home to find this demanding mail. So I cracked. I lost my cool. I did what a customer-oriented personnel should never do - I told the guy to f**k off. *Gasp*

OK...I fantasised that I could tell the customer to go blow his own dick, but I am such a politically correct person most of the time that sometimes I really hate it. So anyway today I just told this nice email writer that I really don't think his demands are logical or fair to me, and that he should really consider getting his head examined if he expected me to do all he asked for free. Just not his luck to catch me on a day when I am having PMS. Yeah...we girls can always blame it on the PMS. "Ooops, sorry, was I rude that day to you? It must have been my PMS" :)
And all will be forgiven......

I know customers always think they are right. When I am a customer I think I am always right too. If I paid for it, you are my slave and you do what I ask you to do. BUT since I always seem to be getting shitty services anyway, guess it's only fair that I provide some shitty services too. I know I know, this should not be the culture. I always try to remind myself that EMOTIONS SHOULD NEVER LEAD BUT FOLLOW INSTEAD. But it sure is tough to follow that rule. Especially when everyone seems to be out to irritate me :( Maybe it's just all in my mind, or maybe my customers should get a day in my shoes for once to know what's it like to feel sooooo trapped within, sooooooo suffocated, soooooooooooooo wanting to escape to a nice island. I pray for release from this cruel world. DO YOU HEAR ME LORD?!! Let me go please .......

COP ranting out some of her frustrations in life :(

Passion to RUSH

2005-08-22T11:32:00.000+08:00

So finally we arrived at Passion. Expectation was running high since everyone was giving the place such a great review.Well no review is a review if it's not by COP.

The place was pretty small and packed. No interesting guy in sight. More of matured 'uncles' still in their work clothes. Sexy girls?? Come on lar, the sexiest was LL. (*holding my chest as I say this...somehow there is some pain there*). If u're the kind who likes sleeping around (and I mean really sleeping and not the slut kind of sleeping), u're gonna love this place coz it has lotsa soft comfy sofas. Basically there's not much place to move. Just a small little dance floor in front of the deejay. And the music was well..just too trance for most of us. By 12 everyone seemed to be dissapearing and then we discovered why :)

They were addicted to the "drug" downstairs called Poppy. That placed was packed and hot. And I mean HOT coz it's kinda open air and aircond-less. Thankfully my nose was kinda senseless due to the alcohol so I did not have to breathe in those sweaty body smell. Did I say sweaty? I should say wet instead! I was so "fortunate" to bump into some people on the dance floor and feel their skin glide (or stick..eeeww) against mine. The music was pretty good and danceable tracks but overall too crowded for dancing enjoyment coz u're either always hitting someone, or someone is trying to use their bum to shove u off!!! You know lar, I am so light and fragile :D

I really would like to give this place a thumbs up but heck, it can't be that great a place if my 2 male companions actually fell asleep in there (??!!??) And NOOOO, it was not because the rest of us were boring, I think it was more because these 2 guys just gotten too old for the night life? Hmm, can't actually say that coz they were real perky and awake after that when we were having our spicy hot nasi lemak supper. So what gives Sun and Boo? Not enough sexy chicks maybe?

If Poppy was hot, RUSH was like a gathering of rowdy and unpolished people who came from the villages. Sounds too sarcastic and pompous? Well that's actually the nicest way I could put it!!! It must have been the absolutely most horrible club I have ever set foot in. Even the gay club in Central Market was better than this! First of all there was this really boring Miss Malaysia pageant going on that seems to last 4ever and ever. Heck I did not pay good money to sit for hours watching some silly girls parading around. Why did I not leave? Well I'm too cheapskate. I paid my cover charge so have to at least sit few hours to make it worth it. Hahaha. Everyone was practically shouting and begging for music...and nothing can be more pathetic than going to a club with no music. O, the memory of it pains me. Well at least I was slightly entertained by my companion for the night who gotten slightly tipsy and imagined that contestant No.3 was surely gonna follow him home that night. Wake up lar Jeff..u deserve No.7 instead lar. When the darn pageant finally ended and the music came on, there was more torture awaiting. The music was sooo crap and so yesterday that I realy couldn't take it any much longer and walked off. I had to save myself finally. Overall RUSH was a record - worst club and only club where I drank only one glass of alcohol. Hmmm...maybe I was just too sober to enjoy. Well nothing I would miss there...really NOTHING was good.

COP bemoans the death of good quality clubbing scenes...

A friend or more?

2005-08-17T23:09:00.000+08:00

An acquaintance of mine recently asked me this question - do u believe that a guy and a girl can be friend or good friends and not get involved romantically? Good question, but answer is rather unclear. I would say there is no ONE fix answer to this question. Depends on who HE is and who SHE is. As we all know, love can happen in a funny and unexpected way sometimes. Like for example today I may think Mr. A is friend material, but another day Mr. A might blossom into a "driver" material. Hahaha...for those who don't know me, my expectation of a bf is very simple. He has to be my driver. So I always refer to a bf as a driver. (at least that makes him useful in some way)

But back to that question. After thinking about it, I realised what the heck, most of my friends are guys! So now I am wondering do guys see me as a guy instead of a girl!!!! Maybe that's why some guys can't tell when I actually do like them romantically. Coz they think I am only a guy. O ya...Paul and I have a question. Does guy who had sex change operations (and at the same time retain their malehood) get to have sex with themselves? That would be pretty convenient, wouldn't it? Like the snails or was that the earthworm?

Aargh, I diverted again! So anyway, I think there are no reasons why a guy and a girl can't maintain a nice clean platonic friendship. In fact from personal opinion, sometimes I find you can talk to a guy more openly about a lot of nonsense things without them shrinking back and gasping in shock at u. And I think vice versa, guys enjoy a woman's opinions to things that happen in their life especially when seeking advice on how to chase some chick or how to make their gf fall hopelessly for them. I actually learn a lot from my male friends which I am sure none of my female friends would have been able to teach me. Like what kind of bra strap looks yucky. Or what kind of underwear (or none) looks sexy under a white pants. Hahaha..in fact today I even learn that guys prefer the girls not to move when having sex :-p Don't ask me why am I learning this (*angelic smile*) I only absorb information passed on to me :)

My conclusion as I told this nice male acquaintance of mine that asked me the Q, is that from the beginning of a friendship, it is best to specify that you will not be interested to have any kind of relationship with that person besides friendship only. Actually I never do that. But someone did it to me and I learnt from it. Ah...another thing I learnt from a guy :)

But what the heck! U can't stop someone from developing feelings for you right? We all just got to learn to be big adults and deal with it as it comes along. Think out of the box, and open your door to all possibilities :)

Have a happy PEAK ghost festival folks! (23 minutes more as I am writing this) Those who wanna go ghost hunting are invited to join me and MC on our ghost watching feat on Saturday :D Remember......think out of the box!!!!!

COP returns to blogging.......

Salute to over 30s women

2005-08-11T10:35:00.000+08:00

This is a really good article that I read and totally loved ..........

This was written by Andy Rooney from CBS 60 Minutes. Andy Rooney says:
As I grow in age, I value women who are over 30 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think. If a woman over 30 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something more interesting.

A woman over 30 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 30 give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing. Women over 30 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.

A woman over 30 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Women over 30 couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 30. They always know.

A woman over 30 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 30 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one! You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over 30 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 30+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.

For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free". Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage!

Behind Hazy Eyes

2005-08-10T00:05:00.000+08:00

I wonder how picky this world has gotten. Why is it that organisations are crying for people to volunteer their time but when someone actually does it, they don't bother to reply to it?! Remember my "purpose of life" article? After writing that, I sent an application to volunteer at
the SPCA (society for prevention to animal) coz animals welfare is an issue that is very close to my heart and I believe tht is truly something I would enjoy doing. But aiyooooo....my sincere heart has not been acknowledge *dying of a broken heart now* Guess my next step is to volunteer myself to the zoo. Read yesterday in the newspaper how a volunteer has to start by cleaning chimpanzee's shit and slowly graduate to handling animals like Orang Utan. Sounds fair enough to me, so hopefully this intention to do good will be reciprocated this time !!!! Else I think I have to concentrate on taking care of human "animals" called kids!!! *can already feel a migraine coming on!*

Btw, what's with the haze nowadays? Everyday I look out my office window, I kinda forget and think I'm in Genting except Genting does not smell burnt. Told Paul the weather actually reminds me of Holland during our visit there on Christmas. All dark and gloomy looking. Seems everyone's mood in the office changes according to weather too. All pessimistic, all unconvinced and all sleepy head. I don't like the haze at all. No more jogging, no more swimming. Which means NO MORE FIT BODY. Was thinking about joining the gym until I heard some too interesting stories from 2 guys who frequent the gym. 1st guy tells me he has really good body(Well can't comment coz I have not actually seen his naked body but can only imagine it must be good !). Anyway, seems the gym are filled with gay guys and they really fit my idea of gay men. Muscular bodies, leng chai and smart looking. What a shame indeed. Imagine going to the gym and meeting some drop dead gorgeous guy u wanna hit on..keep hitting and hitting...why no result?!! Turns out the bugger is a real bugger who prefers to play the backside. Wasted effort..hai~~ So anyway, this poor friend of mine had to stop going to a particular branch of this gym coz gay guys kept hitting on him and one even stalked him to his car! Gulp~~~ Must give them 10 points for passionate and directness. The 2nd guy, he tells me when he is at the gym, he is always observing gals' bust. Now I give this guy 100 points for hamsap-ness! So with all these weirdos at the gym, I have second thoughts about even stepping foot into one.

Talking abt hamsap guy, our Paulie is one hamsap fella too. Told him I wanted lots of bra shopping in Bangkok and this so called Angelic guy says he will help me to see if it's fitting. Aiyo...now I worry if I picked the right company to go Bangkok with!! And Jay..thinking he would be good boy turns out to be secretly practising chicken styles - well at least me and Paulie thinks so since he's been MIA for a few days now. Don't kill us Jay!!! We always have wild thoughts :D Think i gotta bring a leash along and tie these 2 guys up when we go to Patpong else don't know what disease they bring back with them. O yeah, Patpong has a nice club call THE BED. The sound of it is already tempting enough yeah? ;) Paul was very attracted to the description of "skimpily dressed waitress". Ooo lalaaa..

And since we are on subject of skimpily dressed women, this Friday is gonna be good coz LL is going to display to us her skimpily dressed body. *Wolf whistle!!* Seems our missy says her body has become thin and sexy, and now's the time for her to show off her assets. Hmmmm...u better not let me down miss LL. I salute ur courage. As for me, I still believe I am fat so I think I better not make anyone puke on the dance floor.But let's hope it's gonna be a fun night. Me and LL agreed that it's probably gonna be our last night of clubbing together since it seems so extremely difficult to get people to even come clubbing with us. And I think after this night, our body gonna continue balloning up the weighting scales. Yes LL, admit it...we're never gonna get to our 47 and 48kg. Anyway it's an unhealthy weight for us. We look perfectly fine the way we are now. Good friends compliment each other, right? :D

COP says CHEERS to our last night of clubbing and entry into "responsible" adulthood...*pls note..this is not a guarantee,I am always allowed to go back on my words*

Ghost and Itchy Man

2005-08-07T09:49:00.000+08:00

It’s the 7th month of the Chinese calendar, and it is believed that during this month the Gates of Hell opens and spirits set free to roam the earth. Barely a day after the gates were opened that I encountered the worst spirit that could ever roam the earth. It is called GHOST OF THE PAST. Even a real ghost wouldn’t have such a shocking effect I think. There I was happily window shopping when at the turn of my head I came face to face with the “ghost” – my ex. Why is this world really so small ?!!?! Unexpected encounter with a spirit of the nether world is always a frightening experience, but to meet a ghost of this world is well...what can I say – damn? Suddenly all the things I pushed behind my mind, things time had worked hard on healing came flooding back, and once again I am stuck with the question - is it love or denial?

Think it would be best for me to listen to MC’s advice and be a good “tiger” this year. Seems according to Feng shui, the “tiger” female faces a lot of challenges and obstacles in matters of love this year. So guess it’s best to concentrate on my career. Btw tiger males don’t worry, this is the year when u gain a lot of “tou far” or what I would call “good mating year”. Hahaha.
This reminds me about the debate that is currently going on in our Malaysian parliament. Sometimes I wonder why I am paying these people so much of my hard earned money. Would be worth it if they were busy discussing about economic health and ways of improving development of the country, BUT seems matters of the 3Ts are more important to our MPs. What is 3Ts u ask? It stands for “Teringin Tapi Takut” which literally translated means “Interested But Scared”. According to some MP, most men have desire to have more than 1 wife, but many do not fulfill this desire because of the law or their fear of being unable to handle/ balance more than 1 wife. My gosh, I have no doubt about this statement at all judging from the way men ogle at every pretty thing that cross their path, and how there are so many women out there who don’t seem to value the meaning of “sisterhood” and goes off to snare the heart of married men. I wouldn’t point my fingers at these women and call them slut coz sometimes it’s really not their fault 100%. I personally have been enamored by a married man before…until I found out he was married that is. This kind of men are “itchy” and come out to con innocent, naïve, sweet little girls like me by pretending to be smart successful and highly eligible bachelor. Well of course the girl gotta be smart too and open up her “antenna” to detect infidelity. But that being said, I think it would also be fair to say that most women would also not mind having more than 1 husband especially if 1 could provide the money, another the looks and one more the love. You see, it’s rare for 1 guy to come with all the qualities together ;)

Btw, I got asked that frustrating a**hole question again today by an old housemate. When are you getting married? The moment I heard that I almost pounce on him with my tiger claws and scratch his mouth out :-P LL will understand why my reaction is so over dramatic. So don’t any of you dare ask me this stupid irritating question again unless you don’t value your mouth!!!! Don’t ask me, I will tell you.

One night in Bangkok

2005-08-03T23:09:00.000+08:00

Planning the bangkok trip makes me remember a song I used to hear when i was young. Goes something like "one night in bangkok makes a rich man humble". What does that actually mean? Or was it "one night in bangkok makes a rich man stumble"? Duh, memory sure is failing me. Think the "stumble" more likely from over-exhaustion due to whole night of "exercise".

Anyway, the planning details of a trip can get really frustrating at times when you need to coordinate among many people. Daily workload is stressful enough, and then add that with indecisive people and air ticket price that seems to cost a bomb. Btw, people take note that advertisement that states something like "from RM239" - DO NOT BE CHEATED. These bugger agents are actually quoting the minimum Air Asia rate. They might as well have put in "from 1.99"

So most of us who are confirmed to go are pretty excited about what we're gonna do there. Paul has promised us plenty of good clean(?) fun. Let's see, there'll be temples and markets and shopping. Yeah!! Shopping for more bras :D Of course someone called jay also mentioned something like bangkok isn't bangkok if there's no visit to the gogo bars. Yaya, I can almost hear him shouting that I am framing him :-p Heck Jay, u're purposely arriving 3 days earlier than the rest of us. What do u think I think u are doing there?? *block ur killer stare!*

Well honestly I am also excited to have a look at these go-go bars, and duck shops and toy shop?? Is that right paul? Toy boy shop? Well something not so "angelic" sounding I'm sure. But I'm a bit worried actually. Coz my presence might be a hindrance to the guys in the group to go "hunting". Btw, once again remind you guys - hotel booking terms and condition states NO sex allowed in rooms. So please do your businesses in the corridors and lobby ...kekeke..

For those of u not going, u're definitely gonna miss out on the FUN FUN FUN. 1st of all, u're gonna miss seeing our future Paul Sou. 2ndly the cheap shopping...bra bra bra and more bras. Well maybe some dried mangoes too. 3rdly u'll get to see a city much more congested that our dear KL and therefore learn to appreciate our traffics better. 4thly sooo many pretty girls. Hmm...dun know what 5thly will be. A holiday break maybe? I sure as hell need that one!

COP dreaming endlessly of BKK.....

Nonsense Talk - Reply

2005-07-28T13:54:00.000+08:00

Yoh! Wat's up wat's up!
I know I know... I MIA for a while? Anyone miss me? :-P

COP, I know we had a deal about slimming and yeah insult all they want. I NO CARE! my clothes will not lie to me. (* as long as they don't expand teng! teng! teng! *). I now can fit in any sexy dress with or without much "other" supporting stuff ok! I can understand that friends sometimes appear too eager to help when it comes to insulting other but...FAMILY! Who contacted my family and hired them to do this?

I agree with COP about clubbing kakis. We used to "do not have to think" when to go clubbing but nowaday we even have to crack our beautiful not so in-used brains just to see who are willing to go that extra miles with us. (*When I mention extra miles, it is not a small matter. It usually mean you can only get into bed =tut your own bed ok!= earliest by 6a.m*)

What happen to you ppl?!! Lost interest? Old? Don't even use that as an excuse. We are still oh so young *blink* *blink* Can sense your heart rate increasing? OK stop vomitting now. STOP IT STOP IT. I really feel we have succumb to working hard lifesytles. Work till you drop. No play No fun.

Do you want the rest of your life to be like this? Wake up, let's go partying soon. Our target is PASSION Club. Date: 5th Aug (Friday)
Dress clothes : Guy as handsome as you possibly be. Girls just be yourselves you are all, already beautiful :-D
Motto: "We are denial-less (Is there such a word?) or We are undenialable."

Darn! I should hold my own motivational talkshow and be the next Oprah Ahhh... *smack* Ok back to reality.

Oh ya. I am not going to Taman Negara next week. For those wishing me to be eaten by tigers, FAT CHANCE! For those wishing me to be eaten by crocs, LA LA LA! After you guys ok.

And COP, arrgghh how to put this in word...with all my best wishes you can continue to drink your slimming tea. I find that my first curry (Yeap first time I cook curry chicken) works the same way :-(

Nonsense talk

2005-07-27T23:27:00.000+08:00

Once again I am stuck as to what to write. Then o gosh, I realised this means only ONE f**king thing. My life is in a rut. How can I have NOTHING to write about if my life was exciting and fun? Well the only major thing that seems to be happening to me right now is due to that horrible diet tea I'm drinking, I need to be rushing off to toilet at weird moments. So my advise to u all - DON't try the tea!!! Besides, I really haven't lost that much of weight at all. I'm still f**king stuck at 49kg. And to think all those output would have weight at least 10kg. #%@%#$@!$!@

My fella blog writer - the one who said she wanna go until what...48kg?? Ahem...she's in depression mode now coz she's imagining that she's gone thin, but everyone around her has been telling her she grown fat! Well cheer up LL, maybe they are taking ur advice and throwing insults at you to encourage u to diet more. Or maybe, just maybe ..they have gone into direct marketing and will soon start introducing diet teas to u *gasp* Btw, are u interested to buy up my last remaining box of tea tht guarantees endless big-business??? *pretty pls*

Now talking about LL, we were just thinking not only is our miserable life is so unexciting - sorry, I was thinking, her life is totally Funtastic. Well anyway, not only is MY life unexciting, even my friends are not that exciting. U old folks seem to have retired to the retirement home. I suddenly lost all my clubbing kakis!! Umm, that reminds me. According to some smart f**k face author in some newspaper, he says i am in DENIAL....in his exact words, old people who continue to go clubbing and shaking their bums are in DENIAL. Shoot me for liking to shake my bum, kolot minded MAN.

Shopping Shopping Shopping

2005-07-25T16:24:00.000+08:00

I wanna buy buy buy. I wanna shop shop shop. The MegaSales is here..but I am bankrupt bankrupt bankrupt. Whoever was the one who thought of starting the MegaSales one week before the end of the month?! Don't these people know most Malaysians haven't gotten their salary by that time? This must be some kinda conspiracy with the banks to encourage poor folks like me to swipe swipe swipe that Credit Card. And mind u, I got plenty of those plastic things - 6 to be exact!

But I am the winner this round. I have NOT used any of the credit cards despite the fact I've been tempted by too many juicy looking things in the shops. Yes, I finally realised that credit card debt is just no fun. My debts seems to go on in an endless lifecycle, and it's darn TIRING seeing my fat salary going slimmer faster than me at the very beginning of the month!

So friends and foes, I need a favor from you. If you ever see me take out my plastic cards, please please please do utter this very important words to me - "THE BANK OWNS U". Alternatively, you can also swipe ur cards for me. Come on, what are friends for if not to share the same burden ;) And may I say Paul is a bad bad bad friend for tempting me to go bangkok and shop even more!! Bad BAD BAD..

So who's up for Bangkok?? :D I am imagining good tomyam and cheap cheap clothes!!

HairStylist Required

2005-07-22T15:09:00.000+08:00

I have this quest to search for a good hairdresser. No one seems to be able to do any miracle to my hair, so if I ever find someone who can turn this messy mop of hair into a smooth sheet of satin, then I will make sure he/she remains a hairdresser rest of MY life :D

I don’t like hairdresser who talks too much. Heck I come to get my hair cut, not to have my peace zone disrupted. Ever had that neighbourhood saloon where the aunty hairstylist keeps on blabbing about whose husband is sleeping with who, and which movie star is mistress to what big-shot? THOSE are the scariest hairdresser ever. Cut cut..bla bla..cut cut..blabla..*EEEYYOOWWW**… “Sorry miss, ur ear very painful ah? Solee soleee, my scissors slipped a bit”

Then there’s the nosy shampoo guy who just won’t stop asking question. “Miss ah, what’s ur name ah?” “Where do you work” “How old ah?” “Wah, u look so young lar”…o please…I feel like I am on some speed-dating journey when I sit in that saloon. Now if he was “leng chai”..maybe it would have been a bit more entertaining, but I think I still prefer my peace and quiet with a nice magazine in hand.

And what about the darn hairstylist who can find 101 things that is wrong with your hair?!!! "Your hair DYING lar miss!! Come must do Treatment A, put nutrient B, massage in barang C, alternate days wash with Shampoo D….etc..etc” Sometimes I wonder they truly am concern about my hair or they just looking to make extra bucks. I believe the latter.

So anyone with a good honest hairstylist to recommend lar?!!!

Ageing Beauties

2005-07-20T16:58:00.000+08:00

Today I made one observation. Madonna looks Gooood. Don't you think so? Then I realised something else. I look good too :)
*QUIET DOWN!!!*

Haha, looks like nowadays is the time for self-praise. But joke aside, I really do think we get more beautiful as we grow older - if u close one eye to the wrinkles and sagging muscles. Ermm...well actually the wrinkles does add a certain "ajinomoto" to a person too. Come on, Brad Pitt is 40 plus and still looks so gorgeous!! And what about Sandra Bullock who hit 40 too and looks barely 35. Then there Maggie Cheung who's also 40 and definitely matured into a elegant swan from her younger days. And I bet all of us agree that Tony Leung and Andy Lau looks better now then 20 years ago. Heck, even their body looks better! Not sure how it feels though *hallucinating again*

Closer to home, I digged up a photo from my college days and had a good laugh at how HORRIBLE the bunch of my close friends all looked. No doubt we all look 100% better now - despite the fact most of us added on the pounds!!! So I think we don't need to worry so much about getting old. There is a good side to it too :) Maybe it's because as we age our spending power increases and we can beautify ourselves. Or maybe it's my old mind trying to reassure myself?? *Gasp* Come to think of it, I used to think that 40 year old men were ancient dinosaurs, but now it feels like I can even marry a 40 year old man. They say the more u say something the less likely to happen :-P
Well anyway, if I'm gonna look as good as the Madonna, Maggie and Nicole at 40, then I'm sure looking forward to that "golden" years.

Btw, a bit of diversion from original topic, I just read a news report about a male horse-lover who died of massive internal trauma after....*open eyes WIDE*...AFTER HAVING SEX WITH A STALLION HORSE!!! I can really imagine the massive trauma alright. First of all, this is a guy so he's gotta be taking it from his behind which I am pretty sure is TIGHT. And then he's having intercourse with a horse...and we all know horses are known for their BIG "thing". So BIG into TIGHT ---- urrgh, I feel some pain myself imagining it..hahaha! Well I'm sure glad the horse is still very much alive :)

So folks, if u want to try something wild, maybe better to lay off the animals. Maybe a cucumber or baseball bat will do??!!

And COP still thinks she's beautiful....some days.

HIS Ramblings

2005-07-19T10:54:00.000+08:00

I consider myself to be a talented writer, but I have not written anything for months. Not even an entry inmy journal. Lack of time, mostly. Lack of inspiration,sometimes. Now I'm trying to write, but I don't knowwhat to write about. So I checked my email instead.Well, my email tells me to write about marriage. 4 friends of mine will be getting married this month.2 of them to each other, which is good, because itmeans I save on one angpow. One of them is one of my oldest friends a secondary school mate from myhome town. He's the same age as me, 29. The other 3 are friends from my college years. They are a year older than me. 30, the cut-off age. If you are past 30 and not married yet, you are considered ¨late.It's worse for girls because men can marry later. DidI say ¨girls? I mean women. See what I mean. You are no longer a boy or a girl when you are 30.Although some short-sighted old ladies still call me¨boy. Children, however, have no such short-sightedness. They call me uncle. I was surprisedthe first time I heard it. Still considered myself tobe ¨brother, not ¨uncle. I have a photo of mine which I took during my early 20s. Didn't think I changed that much until people started commenting about how different I look from my photo. Really?Didn't even notice. You always think that you look the same. Then I looked in the mirror and found out that they were right. Good thing is, I'm much better looking now than I was before. Hey, I didn't say it.The people who commented on my photo did. Or maybe they were just trying to recover from their earlier faux pax. Anyway, I digress.
According to the Department of Statistics, the average age for Malaysian women to get married is 25 and 28 for Malaysian men. I say that's not fair. I'mMalaysian Chinese. Chinese people marry later. I suspect the average for Malaysian Chinese to be 27 and30 for women and men respectively. If I were to follow the crowd, that leaves me one year. Good thing I've always been different. My parents got married at 27 and they expect me to do the same. Every time I go back to my parents' home, sooner or later the topic would come out. They know how much I hate it, but they can't help themselves. It's like an unfinished business for them. It's the circle of life. Your parents brought you into this world, they go to school, graduate, get a job, get married, have kids,give them a good education and see them graduate, then the kids get married and have kids of their own and they become grandparents. My parents' life cycle gotstuck after I graduated from college. Instead of doing the ¨normal thing, I quit my job. And I'm not married. It's like if you don't get married,something's wrong. And it's not just the parents. My friends are worried if they are not married. They want to get married. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against marriage.I think it's a wonderful thing. You meet someone you love, and you want to spend the rest of your life with him or her, then by all means do get married. But does it have to have an expiry date? Why 30? A long time ago, people got married when they were 15. It's a different millennium now. We shouldn't be getting married at the age our parents did. After all, we havea longer life span now. 30 years is too short to be single. Now, people start to panic when they are reaching 30 and just take any Tom, Dick and Harry orMary, Jane and Sally that comes their way. Just so they can get married.
I would love to continue this discussion, but unfortunately it's 22:26 and I have to get ready to go to work. Maybe next time. I mature late. And I look young. I still look like someone in his early or middle 20s. and I have so much to do. Getting married doesn't fit into my schedule. Not yet anyway. But I do want to marry the girl of my dreams one day. Just not today.

*** The honorable LOK shares his deep thoughts with us ***

Pride vs PMS

2005-07-19T09:01:00.000+08:00

Yesterday I wanted to say sorry to someone. But I couldn't open my mouth or use my fingers to type it on my MSN. What stopped me? Pride of course. And then I remembered a sermon I heard once called "Pride Comes Before A Fall". It's about how one who is proud will eventually fall. Can you remember a time when u grew too proud of yourself, and it blinded you to what is real around u and eventually lead to your downfall.

Sometimes pride can stop us from showing our true emotions too, doesn't it? Like the times u wanted to tell someone u truly miss him/her. How many couples break up because neither is willing to say they were wrong and admit failure? And the countless time I was too proud to apologise to my mum just because it would have meant she was right and I was wrong :S
How about the time when someone's opinion made more sense but you just don't wanna accept it coz their face sucks :-P

Well, it's easy to say I want to quit being proud. But it's not that easy to do !!! Heck it's taken me 72 hours and I still have not been able to lift the fingers to type a message on MSN to say sorry. Now you know how proud I am! Which brings me to another topic - should someone bow down and mend things even if it was obviously not one's fault? What's with guys nowadays? Why is it that nowadays more and more guys are being affected by PMS? Is this some kind of conspiracy by the guys coz they can't stand the priviledge (not to mention medical leavesssss) gals get from having PMS? Well you can't have it if you're not bleeding from your dick! So guys stop being such a mood-swinger and be the uncomplex, u-get-what-u-see kinda original men again. I sooooo miss those kinda guys...sigh~~~

And COP thinks aloud once more...............

LOFT Review

2005-07-15T18:09:00.000+08:00

I finally got my ass into THE LOFT. Went there yesterday with 2 sweet guys and a crazy lady. For those uninformed, Loft is a club located near Sheraton KL along the stretch of Heritage Row. The place was initially introduce to me by a certain kaki-clubbing who just got back from UK. So if a guy who frequents club in UK said Loft was good, then it has to be good I guess. The 1st time I went there, the crowd was definitely hot. And those were just the crowds queuing OUTSIDE the entrance. All u see is endless beemers and merz arriving with curvavious babes and musculaly-toned guys stepping out. Wah wah..the "preview" was exciting enough.
But bummer, not allowed in!!!! So fussy lar. Guys need to have collared-shirt and shoes, while girls had to at least exposed 50% of their body. So like tht lar....Well at least some condolenscence was that the guy in front of the queue was such a looker - he has to be a good looker coz my guy friends said he was handsome too. I was soooooooooooooooooooo close to "smelling" him ;)

So with that sneak preview, I vowed to come back with a vengeance. Unfortunately the vengeance happened on a Thursday night. But no worries, it was Ladies night so FREE margarita for the ladies :) Honestly the place was a bit of a dissapointment. Was not as huge as I imagined it to be though I must say the toilet's wash basin was sensually modern. And they even have a guy handing u napkins to wipe ur hands. If u smile nicely to him, he might even wipe it for u..haha.

In the middle of the dance floor is a catwalk that leads to the bar. On this special night we were "rewarded" with some free show - stick thin girls grooving to the music and gyrating their hips against one another (very LES I must say, but think the guys got "hard" looking at it *wink*), a couple of exhibitionist performing french kiss in middle of catwalk (would have been great if the guy looked better and the girl 10 years older and meatier...as it was, looked like some chinaman kissing a skinny schoolgirl). The best show was probably the gwai lou who started stripping for free. Too bad he only stripped the shirt *so sad*. But his body I must say was a nice "eye wash" after all those LES dance.But bugger, the bouncer made him put the shirt back on before I even had enough!

Overall the crowd was not as classy as expected. Mixture of gwai lou and locals, and even some weird silly men who thought a club was for playing "catching". The music that night was more of soul R&B - not my kinda music, but was assured music on weekends much better. Liquor price was kinda over the market price - probably hiked up by those rich kids who arrived in their daddy's luxury car. The eye-candy of the club must be its GM. And because of tht crazy lady I so carelessly brought along, I now have his name and phone number AND I have to run when I see his face again because of the immense embarassment she caused me. I bet with that lady that she will not dare to get his number, and the next thing I know he comes over to me to introduce himself and whisper the number into my ears. Argghh, don't ever dare a sales lady! But I have his number :D .....But what am I to do with it *hit myself on head*

Next review is Passion. Care to join anyone??

COP speaks through her drunken stupor today...
Btw, I was joking abt the girls needing to wear less than 50% clothing ....it is 70% :-p

A crackPot - by Paul

2005-07-15T09:16:00.000+08:00

A water-bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole, which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it and the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots of water to his house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect for the task for which it was created, but the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do. After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself and I want to apologize to you. I have been able to deliver only half of my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full value from your efforts," the pot said. The water-bearer answered, "As we return to the master's house I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path. Do you notice that there are flowers only on your side of the path but not on the other pot's side? This is because I have always known about your flaw. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path and every day while we walk back from the stream you have watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are there would not be this beauty to grace the house." Moral: Each of us has our own unique flaws. We are all cracked pots, but its the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. Take each person for what they are and look for the good in them. There is a lot of good out there. Blessed are the flexible for they shall not be bent out of shape. Remember to appreciate all the different people in your life! Or, as I like to think of it, if it hadn't been for the crackpots in my life it would have been pretty boring and life certainly wouldn't have been very interesting.

PerfectMatch.com

2005-07-13T19:05:00.000+08:00

There's a movie coming out called “Must Love Dogs”. Actually it talks about finding a soul mate via internet. In the olden days when a person can't find a partner, their parents usually gets the task of matchmaking them. But in this modern world, we get to take that into our own hands. So I actually set out to experiment with this thing for fun of it. Introducing Match.com...

Match.com members are people from all over the world and in Malaysia itself there are plenty and plenty of people. I started out by sharing some nice personalities of mine – come on, who ever put their worst traits online. Everyday my mailbox is filled with at least more than 10 mails and none of them is from a girl. O ya, please note, match.com is not just for finding partners, it's also for finding friends – some sort of a modern pen-pal system.

I must say it's not that hard to find a partner if one is not too selective. I had men old enough to be my dad asking to meet me, then u have the opposite extreme of guys young enough to be my kid brother. And then there are the ones that seemed too perfect and u will just wonder where the catch is? Anyway, I haven't been playing this game long enough (I am really BUSY u know!!) so haven't really gotten the hang of separating the sly ones and the sincere ones. What I do know is so far most men have been pretty predictable. List of questions or statements I usually get from them :
1) Will you give me you phone number so I can contact you more conveniently – yeah right...what is wrong with emails.
2) Why don't you come over to my house and I cook for u – so u can eat me alive??!
3) Why don't you ask me for a date? – excuse me, after my 1st contact with u!? Dream on. And since when the girl had to ask for the date!? Bugger.
4) This is the best – do u wanna make out? - go try the chicken parlour sir!

Maybe it's just me not trusting people, but whatever happened to the olden way of going after a girl? What happened to taking the time to understand someone before even daring to suggest anything sexual? *Gosh *

HOWEVER, all is not bad. There are many successful cases of people meeting through the internet. I have a friend who got married with the guy she met on ICQ. And Paul gets harassed in the middle of the night by the girl he has phone-sex with. (You made me do tht Paul!!) But for me...hmm..maybe when I learn to trust people more else I think internet matchmaking is not my kinda game. Or maybe when I become less selective. Or when a guy that truly match my criteria appears – remember : MUST LOVE DOGS.

To all guys, one word of advice from COP : Dun be a jerk and start off by asking a girl their bra size and if she is willing to have sex with you. Grow up sir! Where have all the good men gone....sigh~~

Body weight...

2005-07-12T00:55:00.000+08:00

Hhhmmm... Is it as we get older we are more concern about our look than anything else? How our bodyline curve? How to clear all those wrinkles..WAIT! When these lines appear? (ARG!!!!)
Don't panic...stay cool. Breath deeper.... *After 5 minutes*

Ahem... Felt reassured *Applying tons of anti-wrinkle cream*.
Right. We will chat about wrinkle in some other panic driven day. Today is about waistline.

What is your perfect weight? Mine is 48kg. All I can say is... been on this weight once and THAT's IT! Never able to reach it again no matter how hard I try. That is why I call it PERFECT weight! So I chat this up with COP and she mentioned hers 47kg and guess what kekeke... she is having the same problem. I suppose this is usual. We keep trying for it and yet it just elude us *sigh*

So today, we will try another method. We will "insult" each other until hopefully it take toll on us and make us look like supermodel. For all of you, bear witness to this.

1. We will just insult, won't use any physical force
2. We will encourage others to eat more than us (Hey we can always make our friends look fatter so we look thinner ok!)
3. We will keep displaying lots of model bodyline picture to make us miserable and therefore eat less (GUYS! don't pretend to visit us. We know you just want those pics!)
4. We will not go food hunting with MC!!! Who always encourage us to eat and drink. Bad boy.
5. Besides all those yummy model pic, we will also steal MC's naked pic. That should cause us to vomit whatever we had eaten.

Excellent ideas :-D

Give us a month. Dateline : 12th Aug 2005

*Please remind us again on that date*

Beauty Lies in the Eye of the Beholder

2005-07-11T18:56:00.000+08:00

The other day a male acquaintance of mine asked me a question that's constantly playing in everyone's head. Sure it must have surfaced in yours too one time or another. Why do the ugly guys get the pretty girls wrapped around their arms? Well I told him it's probably coz the guy is filthy rich and the girl is just materialistic. As an afterthought, I felt that was a bit unfair of me to say so. Sure I think about 70% of the cases still has that logical reasoning, but for the other 30% there is probably true love involve. Is there really such thing as true love ...well that is another topic to be bashed out another time.

Actually I think every guy thinks they are handsome even if the mirror does not say so. At least all my EX-bf used to think I was terribly lucky to have such a “handsome” guy as a bf. Let me say, beauty is really in the eye of the beholder!!! Some girls just swoon about how terribly fabulous looking their bf are, but when I look at him all I see is a piece of shit – ok ok, better than shit...maybe like an orang-utan (what an insult to the cute orang-utan!)

Anyway, this came about after I learnt that a friend was dumped by her bf for a model definitely not as pretty, not as cute, not as charming, not as sweet, not as boisterous, not as perfect and etc as her. I mean this girl is Purrrfect…o so she thought. Guess the bf did not think the same. But what am I getting at??!! What I am saying is there is no logic to love. You can meet the most ugly guy/ girl, but if the chemical reaction between u both are right, then u will sizzle and ugliness somehow is blinded and what u will see is the beauty below. Maybe the “uglier” model is not as pretty as my friend, but her chemicals matched stupid bf's chemical more. Guess that is the only reassuring way to explain things like this else one can go mad trying to find a reason!!! So ugly girls and guys out there, believe that someday, somehow, some person will have the right chemical reaction with you, and his/her eyes will be instantly blinded and fall in love with u :)

Wait, does this also explains why some people go for guys/ woman more than 10 years older than them? Maybe that is tomorrow's article.

COP speaks from the heart today....
And to the bf of my friend, I think you really need an EYE SURGERY!

Love me tender, Love me true....??!!?

2005-07-08T23:33:00.000+08:00

Does anyone notice nowadays relationships seems to be getting more and more complex? I think it's probably coz girls are starting to have attitude, while guys....well...they're starting to grow girly brains - no no, this is no guy bashing article :)

As I see it, most girls seem to be demanding a lot. They want a guy:-
1) that's hot like Brad Pitt - and I mean HOT,
2) rich as Donald Trump,
3) have high potential to be CEO of some big company - pls not the cina-pek company,
4) drives around in at least a 5 series BMW - we don't mind so much a X5 either ;)
5) doesn't pick his nose/spit/fart in public - ultimate disgust
6) must love her like she is the only woman left on earth
7) and o..be romantic enough to name a planet after her! - or an island, or a ship, or a star, or a flower, or a house ..umm...a house better
Well honey, if there is such a guy, he must be either married or GAY ***and all girls heave a big sigh~~~***

On the other hand, guys are expecting some girl who has :-
1) heart of an angel,
2) body of Angelina Jolie - no fake breast allowed either,
3) looks of Catherine Zeta Jones - some form of plastic surgery would be acceptable,
4) cooks like Jamie Olivier,
5) entertains his friends like Oprah Winfrey,
6) knows every position in the KamaSutra by heart - preferably with "sound effect",
7) speaks only when spoken to - and no way can she nag/lecture,
8) closes an eye while he flirts with other girls - however the same rules does not apply vice versa,
9) won't mind too much if she's rich but not a must,
10) and I think the list goes on endlessly and endlessly.
See why I say the guys got the girl's brains now?? Well I think the guys are luckier - there's plenty of girls out there with all these qualities...as long as u are a guy with qualities listed above ;)

So whatever happened to true love? In future would love need to be measured by a calculator? As what MC always tells us - "just as u select people, people select u". I got a better one - "Go see ur reflection in a basin of water" :-p

And COP speaks once more ;)

P/S : Btw, is it the men I know, or is it men generally nowadays that when a girl says she wants to go to sleep, the next question is bound to be "alone?" For Pete's sake men, the world does not revolve around sex! And lastly Seann if u are reading this - a 30 plus unmarried girl is NOT gonna be a librarian..it just mean we have one less big "baby" to burden us :-P

In the name of God?

2005-07-07T23:17:00.000+08:00

Today's top story I'm sure everyone knows is about the London explosions. And once again we are reminded that life is short, and u just never know what will happen the next minute or even the next second. Who gives these terrorists the rights to so carelessly taketh away the lives of so many innoccent people? They said they do it in the name of God. I don't think their "God" really would have wanted them to do such thing. Sounds more like Hitler trying to eliminate other "lesser" beings. Anyway since I am still suffering from mental block, I just wanna say - coward are those who strikes unannounced!!!!

On a lighter note, weekend is drawing near. TGIF!

Love of my life

2005-07-03T23:19:00.000+08:00

Sorry to inform you that the blog writer COP is suffering mental block. Pressure of being middle-man and caught in between fires has taken its toll on me. Will be in some mental asylum called E***N for the whole week to receive some more bullet fires. "yee tuk Kong tuk" I think it's called. If I don't return, please remember the 10 things I loved about life :

1) Sound of waves hitting on the beach - probably related to sweet memories #2
2) Sleeping with my adorable baby Yoda and hearing him snore....SOOO CUTE, but darn he can be noisy
3) Falling in love - those EARLY stages of dating when all u wanna hear is his voice and all u can think about is how sweeeeet he is.
4) Going clubbing and getting high - and yet be able to laugh at ur friend who's pissed drunk :-p
5) Racing my City down the highway and imagining it's a Beemer...yalar, cheap thrill
6) Going on holidays with my gang of friends - always so fun and so bankrupt in the end
7) Thai massages - ur bones never feel the same again
8) Going camping in Europe - tq tq Paul and Soon peng for the unforgettable experience!! I can never forget the mountains and the snow. And my Sound of music!!!
9) Eating! One of the reason I love Malaysia and nowhere else!
10) Sleeping - with or without companion. Heck..it's good to have "something" to hug :)

But wait..if I die I'll be sleeping too much already. Hmm...so have to remove that item (10), and replace with...err....MSN messanger - without it I feel like a incomplete. Bet most of u are too !!!

The Purpose of Life?

2005-07-03T00:25:00.000+08:00

Today coming back from a heavy dinner, a friend drop a bomb-shell question on me. Do I know what is my purpose in life? He must have thought I was a real bimbo coz I truly could not think why was I placed here on earth. I think I reached my mid-life crisis when I start wondering every day - what do I want, what is my purpose? Don't we all go thru this stage in life? Do u honestly know what is your purpose in life?

It can't be my job. Much as I LOVEEeee my job (*hey boss, incase u're reading this, I really really enjoy my job lots..NOT*), but for me the job is the job. I have no passion for it, and it contributes nothing to the goodness of mankind or to my self-fulfilment of life itself.
** So job <> Purpose.

Next I thought my purpose was to find a good man to marry and take care of me (told ya I was a bimbo!). But since my last breakup, I am even more sure that one cannot depend on a man. And especially u cannot make a man ur purpose in life.Ok, not gonna be a sexist so a woman also
cannot be ur purpose in life.
**So a partner might complement the purpose, BUT partner <> Purpose.

Then what? Is our purpose just to enjoy life? Don't think so either coz there was a time I went partying almost everyday, but at the end of the day instead of knowing my purpose, I am left
with a hangover and smelly smoky hair!
**So enjoy life <> Purpose.

Then my friend suggested why not I discover something I am passionate about and set that as my purpose in life. Actually did he suggest that or did he suggest me to take more holidays?!!??! Gosh, I think he might even have suggested I do more shopping since I am very passionate about shopping :D Now I am beginning to wonder too if my purpose is just to sleep and sleep and have good dreams...especially dreams of buying and buying and not have to pay a cent (tht is my ultimate BEST dream)

But seriously, do we really have to wait till we're almost dying to wonder if we have served our purpose in life? Or would we at that moment still be wondering WHAT IS MY PURPOSE in life? So now an additional burden is added to my mid-life crisis (err..actually I'm only 18 STILL). Now I have to seek to do something that makes my life more meaningful so that on the day I close my eyes 4ver, I can leave this world knowing I DID SOMETHING for it. Greaaatt...someone please remind me not to bring a complex man to watch movies like Mr.and Mrs.Smith. Somehow seeing too much of a sexy woman makes their brains tick more.

Moral of story : If u still dun know what is ur purpose in life, dun go watch movie with a complex guy :)JOKING!!! The real moral is if u're still clueless abt ur purpose in life, then get off tht lazy butt of urs and start doing some soul searching. If u think and u think and u still can't figure it out, then I got one advice. DONATE. As my friend said, maybe ur talent is to make money so u can donate it to those in need. Well.........tht's the easy way out sir!

HotBods

2005-06-30T17:05:00.000+08:00

Today LL was a bad girl. She watched a movie, and then said one bad word to me. There I was concentrating very hard on my work (*to my boss in case u're reading this* - I work very very hard. I do not chat, I do not surf and I do not daydream)

Anyway, that really really bad word she said to me was - BODY.
Gosh, does this girl not know I am now in sexual seclusion?? Why tempt me with such a word. Arrghhh...

The word BODY conjures up many images in my head. Heck,it's like saying FOOD to someone who is fasting/ dieting. So anyway I was mentioning to LL why is it that I don't meet any man with great 6-pack body? Would be awesome to touch a firm piece of body with muscle. Won't it? But not too muscular either coz tht is a bit too scary for me. Then it will be like touching a rock. Ever notice how those muscle man have really big "breast". Hmm, think their breast is even bigger than mine (adoi!).

Fat body is good, coz I touched MC before. Haha...not in a sexual way OK! Merely touch. Thin body is so-so...sometimes the bones hurts but at least I can circle my delicate small arms around the body. Medium body has the best of both world - meaty enough for comfort, and not too fatty to suffocate my small (*ahem*) frame. But muscular...hmm, really gotta try that one day. One more reason to go to the gym :D

"Excuse me, can I just like touch your muscular body sir?! I promise I will only touch and not lick" Muahahaha. Good pick-up line huh?

Shown in this article are a sample pic of muscular body with big breast (hoho..it is big!) and my ideal body (not really muscular but still has some little "mouse" ..sigh~~ Daniel or daniel.. For you ANYTIME ..*dizzy*

World News From Paul

2005-06-30T16:57:00.000+08:00

World News Today
I like to think i am a very knowledgeble person. I listen to the radio (ok, mostly music), watch television (and while zapping sometimes even manage to catch some news)and read newspaper (for some reason my mother has a subscription). While sucking in all that information sometimes i come across information that should be shared with other people.Of course you don't have an invasion of Iraq everyday nor do you see the berlin wall crumbling all the time. Anyway, i have tried my best to gather interesting stories.
Here is a short selection of the news of the past 24 hours i came across :-D:

There is a german plastic surgeon who send out a warning that it's not good for women to participate in beach volleyball. It seems beach volleyball is rather popular in Germany. Lot's of girls like to jump around in bikini or even topless so they say (and i am sure there will be lot's of guys in the audience ;-). Now the problem the surgeon describes is that because of all thejumping up and down, the breasts can start sagging. It seems not just a problem for women with larger breasts but even for thosewith more modest cupsizes. So ladies .. beware. Actually according to this report, guys are also at risk. Their private parts also should not be hopping around too much.
Another item says that again in germany (they have some interesting ideas there) a guy at the university of Frankfurt has identified the areain the brain that controls the male penis. For almost a 100 years there has been a debate going on (i have to admit i missed it completely)about what part of the brain controls the penis. Finally this guy from Germany got together a small group of volunteers. He then did the following experiment. He stuffed the volunteerd (all guys of course) in an MRI scanner and then tickled bits of their bodies with a feather while keeping his eyes firmly fixed on the brain activity monitor of course. The report states that every man's penis (when properlytickled) was represented in the same place, flanked by the areas for the toes and abdomen. This guy stated on a meeting in Toronto:"The only depressing thing is that the representation is very small." Now the big question is .. how would tickling a women's body parts show up on an MRI scan. There is no report of that. There is a bit of fear however that it would resemble the 4th of july fireworks display :-). Ah well,maybe we should just conclude that the man's penis is out of control ;-).

There was some more news about flooding, war and all that, but unfortunately no more time already. Happy reading !

The Perfect Man?

2005-06-30T13:50:00.000+08:00

This is how a guy should be (no pressure but anything less means you're a useless guy) :-p

When fetching a lady, you cannot be late, cannot reach before expected time and once you reach, be gentle and wait, when she finally appears slowly, steadily, tell her that it's all fine for the wait and tell her that she is gorgeous...

Now, I did not come up with that teory ok. It came from a man's mouth himself. And I think it's wonderful thought indeed. Perfect guy? ;)

2005-06-29T18:00:00.000+08:00

Paul and his naked Bitch Kyra

Crazy Memories

2005-06-29T17:47:00.000+08:00

Tell me who has never done any silly thing in this world? Of course with me, I'm especially prone to doing them. If u have never been silly then u really need to lighten up a bit dude. Maybe u need to hang out more with me and take away the silliness from me *wink*wink* - provided u are leng chai or u have leng chai friends...muahahaha. Ok I'm not really so gila lelaki..just a tiny weeny bit now that I am sooooo single and available.

Anyway, let's start from when I was really young. When in Kindergarden, I was made to perform some Waltz dancing for a concert performance, and they made me partner this guy who was err..dark skin (OK OK, I was a racist then but no more!!!). Don't ask me how I learnt to do this but I very naively wrote in my small kid handwriting a letter to my class teacher. I was pretending to be my mum and informing the teacher that I will not allow my kid to dance with a guy. Hmm, think I was not too bright at that time either. So what happens next? Of course mum got called up to meet the teacher and that was the 1st time I felt rotan on my backside *ouch*ouch*

As if I did not learn from that, I went on to become a corrupted student. In Std 2, I forgot to do my homework, and tried to pay off my teacher to forget about it. I still wasn't too bright then coz what insane teacher would accept a RM1 bribe!?!! Once again my mum was called to meet the school principal and I was left with another rotan mark on my gloriously smooth backside. Umm, I think my mum was really worried then I would grow up to be some mafia :D

Fortunately I breeze thru the rest of my school days being less silly....until I met a bunch of sillier friends. In my 1st year of work cum travel, me and Lelean went on a weekend escape to Paris to meet up with Paul. Being typical "poor" Malaysian, we decided to save on the lodging money. Thinking it's summer, should not be a problem to sleep out on the street. (shit, sounds like some homeless beggar). So happily we sat ourselves down near the Seine River as night falls. Only 2 word sticks to my head till this day - FUCKING FREEZING! We were sooo cold and no place to hide and silly Paul kept insisting I put my head on his lap to keep warm. What on ur lap is so warm may I ask Paul??? So anyway...take it from me. Summer is winter during the nights!

My next silly thing (and also LL's..keke) happened at Paul's house too. Hmm, does tht mean Paul = silly? (lalalalalala) It was Christmas time and there was a whole gang of us there. Paul had bought a bottle of champagne, and plenty of wine and beer. And someone had some marijuana incense? or was it Kama sutra incense? Some bad incense lar. So we started with a champagne toast. Bottoms up mind u. And subsequently I have no idea how much we drank. All I can recall is this MC and Paul with their evil laugh happily pouring wine and beers into all our glasses. (Now Paul informing it was actually Boo..now how could Boo have been tht evil??!! Whack u Paul!!) Soon u have conversations like "Seeeeeee...I can walk in straight line", "Paul, pleeease dun kill me, I can be useful", "I wanna sleep", "Why u look so blurr", "MC, pleassee...more more!". How did this end? With LL and my head halfway in the toilet bowl trying to puke imaginary stuff out! And silly MC trying to take photos of us. No wait..not trying...he did catch pics of us!

Hmm, I got lots more silly things but unfortunately work has spoilt all my mood at the moment. So would be great if someone would cheer me up with more of their silly stories.

And the great COP speaks.....

Obsession

2005-06-29T13:59:00.000+08:00

Come on... let's admit it. How many of us go through life without at least once being obsessed by some actors or actresses (Those guys who trying to play cool and say NEVER! ya right. Remember Angelina Jolie in that tight leather costume? Ewww... clean up your saliva.)

I do admit, for me it is more than once. It is countless. (And I score well in Maths!). It started with boy band followed by actor then solo singer then some drama series then now actor then... argh where was I?

Oh ya... obsession is very dangerous. How I know? I watched a drama that took my weekend away. Watching from 4pm to 4am. Continue that again from 8pm - 12pm. Yeap. (30 episodes altogether) And if you think I am bad, there is another friend I heard until 8am the next morning :-P

We also changed our obsession as fast as we change clothes. You hear it right. It was NKOTB, Takeshi Kaneshiro then Daniel Wu, Justin Timberlake, Jang Dong Gun, Edison Chen, Takuya Kimura, Jude Law ... :- ok ok better stop here.

So you see, because of technology, the list is more international ;-) *sigh* I can tell you, really need lots of time and energy. But why we do it? I don't know... it just happen. :-S Not like you have warning before-hand. My only hope is.... it get mellow with age. Does it? I read so many articles it will not :-S. I need hope here.

Chance or Choice

2005-06-29T05:35:00.000+08:00

There's an interesting article up in Jason's blog called Chance or Choice.
http://foxhole.pugsquad.com/

After reading it, I realise I have many chances and made all the wrong choices. As the quote said 'Fate brings you together, but it's still up to you to make it happen'. Shame to those who never put an effort into making it happen and giving up at the slightest problem. But then, dun be stupid also and keep trying to make it happen when all u are hitting is against a donkey wall ..haha.

And the best quote as yet --> We came to the world not by finding someone perfect to love… BUT to learn how to love an imperfect person perfectly…

May God bless the person who has to love me *giggle*giggle*

The Art of Slimming

2005-06-28T14:11:00.000+08:00

Be careful what u wish for. During my schooling days, I was so thin others called me a stick. I ate and I ate, but not an ounce of fat could grow on me. Fairy God-mother, please let me grow fatter..please please!!! 10 years down the road --> GOD why am I so darn fat!?! What is this spare tires doing round my tummy?! Why did Levi's not know woman have big backside?!! What is all tht extra meat around my arms??? I should have shut my mouth 10 years ago and stop wishing for stupid things. *sob*sob*

Dun u agree it's easy to gain weight, but almost impossible to lose it? It's no fun if u have a body like mine where all extra fat goes to the face, buttocks, thighs, tummy and arms (in that order). Even less fun if u have friends like mine who's comment everytime they meet me is "U seem to have put on weight" or "Ur face gone rounder". O, friends can be such tormentors :-P

Let me tell u there is no short cut to slimming. Slimming centres? Forget them. The one I went to used some machine tht supposingly beat up the fat inside u and break it up. Then put some padding with electrods to "tone" up. Yeah I was beaten up alright. My arms and thighs were filled with big big bruises. The worst form of torture was slapping cold seamask all over ur body and leaving u to freeze to death with the air-cond and fan full blast at u. Seems tht was supposed to trigger ur body to burn up fat to keep oneself warm. Crap. Crap. Crap. I ended up 2K poorer and not an inch less.

Dieting? Forget it. Leave u half dead, with craving to eat even more ...and o..(*gasp*), a reduction in breast size! And sometimes u will "see" chicken drumstick, nasi lemak, hokkien mee, etc...flying around u. Yeah , dieting increases the power of hallucination.

Going to the gym? Never tried tht. My question is how long will I stick with the schedule? And the more important one...why Fitness First so look down on puchong and not open a branch here? Huh? Huh? You think we're not rich enough meh???

Now my latest slimming technique is a real tough military regime. It consist of slimming pills, slimming tea, low-carb diet, jogging and swimming. I don't know which is more tiring - the exercise or having to constantly go to toilet because of the slimming pill/tea. But what I do know is I miss my nasi lemaks and roti canai very very much!!!! And I just found another thing to add to tht list. DURIAN!!! How can the king of fruit be fattening??!! Darn it. Anyway, glad to say this tough regime has caused me to lose 1kg in about a month. If I don't die by next month, maybe I'll let u know how much more I lose :)

I guess I finally realised that you cannot slim down by torturing oneself, but rather you should enjoy the way to slim down. Some people love their gym (not sure it's the exercise or the hot chicks/dudes around *suspicious*), while I found out that I actually do enjoy how relaxed swimming makes me feel , and how enjoyable it is to jog around my park. It sure is a great way to let go of work issues that built up during
the day. Ok I dun enjoy the emptying bowels part but I paid lots of money for tht so I have to take it!!
Moral of the story : Don't be conned by slimming centres. Their models were already originally thin and sexy women. Don't look at the mirror too much coz it encourages self-indulgence and mental problem related to body/face mass. Don't go to a gym just cause everyone else is doing it - check out there's leng chai/ leng lui there be4 joining coz they will be ur best form of motivation ;) And lastly, don't believe in that crap that smoking helps u to slim down, coz I seen plenty of smoker who are fat :-p

Live a healthy life, but everything taken to be in moderation.

ANYWAY

2005-06-28T03:54:00.000+08:00

Mr.Boo wanna share this with all of us. Take some time to reflect on it :)

People are ofter unreasonable, illogical and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway
If you are kind, people may accuse you of being selfish, and having ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway
What you spend years building, someone may try to destroy overnight;
Build anyway
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway
The good you do today, people will forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you have anyway

You see, in the final analysis, it's between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.

Another point of view...

2005-06-28T03:28:00.000+08:00

Just to voice another opinion.

I am nonetheless having a good relationship. Having to say that, I hope readers realize there is more than one writer in this blog. For those of you, who didn’t please read the following lines... for those who did, please proceed to next paragraph.
YOU DOINK PEOPLE! How you think you could get so many articles in a day? You think we don't have to WORK huh! (Hiiiiiaaaa beesh... poing! That would be the sound of your backside landing on floor. Not bad huh... my invisible kick... Remember that!)

Ahem.... where was I? Oh ya... Good in the sense, during school days, I do not pay much attention on guys, they just don't impress me much. (You got to understand, having a father who was a math teacher in your class... what do you expect?). With all those point make clear, I do behave like perfect student. All the girls consider me "non-threatening". (Believe it or not, most of them behaving like princess dowager having to fight for king's attention!).
Because of my status, some do confine in me, the war's detail. When you think politicking in office is bad... you should go to "ALL GIRL SCHOOL".

Then came college days....
It was one of the scariest experiences for me yet it is so refreshing. First time away from family and living outside on your own with monthly expenses you don't have to work for. (I can see all of you smiling from ear to ear... those good old days... Aaahhh...) For me, it was the beginning of "involvement"... no more "non-threatening" status. (Father wasn't around :-P )
The fights if there were any, were almost non-invisible. Girls were more civilized during college day. I don't know...maybe it got to do with age or probably they had too much fighting in secondary school, they rested during college? Beats me! I just have no clue.

One thing lead to another... *blink* I am in a relationship. I have my one and only man and I feel so blessed indeed. Why? Probably I heard so many "cold and heartless story" on relationship that I am just so glad I don't have those experience.

But not having those experiences also mean don’t have those sweet memories. I have a few friends who suggested I try more than once. The reason: How do you know this is the right one? Just like food, you won't know what food you like until you taste it and slowly it will go into your like or dislike list. Come to think about it, it does make sense. How do I know indeed?
That will always remain a question...

I ask myself if that is an important question? Then I decided it is not... why? Because like food, it is to fill you up so that you will not be hungry. Does my one and only relationship make me not hungry for other... YES. Next, I already have my like and dislike list. Indeed tasting more will give me more choices but end of the day both of these lists will only get longer and longer. So? What if I can't find such food to fulfill these two lists? The longer it get, more impossible it becomes... then what do I do? Compromise?

By now all of you must be thinking... wow, it is great to have only one relationship. You couldn't have been so wrong...

1. Everyone agrees experience create awareness. You experience this, you will be more aware on the outcome. Having to deal only a relationship, you couldn't tell anything at all. Information comes from friends, you can only guess.

2. Without awareness, there is no appreciation. I do take things for granted. Why? Because I always think that it should be this way. You know being girls you get so much that is your privileged.

3. Not loving enough. How to be loving when you never break your heart before? To know the hurt will only educate you that love...doesn't come easy.

4. I... take a different view on friends. Friends for me are those who is helpful, fun and enjoyable company. I didn't have the ability to empathy much, but I do try... from all my guessing. You must agree I have great friends... why? Because they never once ask me to shut up when I don't know what I am talking about. ;-)

5. You have heard over and over again the saying "the higher you go, the harder you fall". Having one time bull eye on relationship does create pressure. Some of your friends... (Not mine ok... mine are angels to me :-D ), may look at you with envy. Once you fail, they will have a bashing field day. Even you know the relationship will fail, you will compromise it too much just because you have an "image" to maintain. *sounds weird right?...*

I have a couple of friends having the problem above. With my ignorant mind, I think the choice is only divorce but to them, it is a risk of being humiliated. They go on, disillusion themselves that is life and you just have to take all that in.

So you see whether it is a one-time bull eyes or multiple searching task, it makes no different. Everyone have his or her own set of problem. There is no way to say which one is better than the other... just count your blessing and hope you make as right decision as you can.

Hey to think about it, if both of us writers have the same set of experience then we will just be repeating ourselves... that will be so boring right :-P

Thank God for variety :-D

Sweet Memories

2005-06-27T13:44:00.000+08:00

If any one of us has never been through a broken hearted moment in your love relationship, then you better get down on ur knees and thank the good God for excluding you from this test of life. For those of us less lucky ones, I think you will agree with me that the hardest part of breaking up is the sweet memories that remains. Many a time I wish I could rip out my brains and remove those sweet-turned-bitter memories, but alas, it is meant to stay to forever torture my soul. I started out wanting to write a guys-bashing article, but decided that's not me today..so instead I'm gonna tell you about the 5 sweetest memories I ever have with all my exsssss. Yeah there are plenty of them until I can't keep count (** based on this my mum says my Maths is LOUSY **)

1) In Form 6, I got a call from a guy and before I realised anything, he and his bunch of friend starting serenading me with "Smoke Gets In Your Eyes"..very loudly too I must say. Honestly it was embarassing at that time coz my dad was sitting just next to me obviously not too pleased that some bunch of nutcase were singing off-tune song to me. It ended with his best friend saying to me "Hope you understand his heart intention". At that point I was already tomato-red and contemplating banging down the phone, so all I said was "Uh..ok..bye". Hahaha, that must have tore his heart...but no worries, he went on to become my 1st bf :)

2) As me and my friends were frolicking in the waters of Redang one day, our sight chance upon a group of divers preparing to go out to sea. My eyes zeroed in on one cute looking dude (thank God for contact lenses else I would have missed him!!) and there was instant chemistry between us. So busy was he looking at us that he stumbled and fell but quickly arose with the sweetest looking smile. That night we met again, and alone together we sat on the beach under the stars - 2 strangers who ironically comes from KL but meets in Redang. The stars were especially plenty that night, and the sound of waves beating on the shore was calming. The sweetest thing that night was definitely his voice and his smile and the laughter we shared. Awwww....one of my best of best memory ever. Needless to say, he became my 2nd ;)

3) There was a period when I was working real late into the nights. BF #5 who was not my bf yet at tht time once called to ask if I wanted anything to eat for dinner. I was really busy and not interested with food, so I told him no need. Not long after tht I got a call from him again asking me to meet him outside the office. Feeling tired and irritated, I was gonna go out to give him a piece of my mind but before I can open my foul mouth, he handed out a bag containing Choc Milk, sandwitch and candies. "I don't wanna bother you and I will get lost after handing these to u. But u gotta eat something or at least drink some milk. I'm worried abt ya". So foul mouth became melted heart....(women are so easily conned dun u think!)

4) I once had a guy that stirs my drink for me when it's hot to cool it down for me.That was adorable. Then he would laugh at how bad I handled my chopsticks, and scoop my noodles up and fed me. That was captivating. When I worked late at a customer's site, he would purposely work late too so he could remain online and mentally support me. When it's over, he would come pick me up for dinner. That was supportive. When we were at a park and it started to rain, he carried me into the rain, and dance with me. That was wet......

5) And my all time favourite memory of all...drum rolls...when my Sony Ericsson K700i fell, he picked it up. What's so great u may ask? Haha...the problem was that it fell into a public toilet. Not a sitting toilet, but a squatting one. The type where the hole goes straight down. This particular hole was small and surrounded by suspicious looking brown gooey stuff. I could see my mobile blinking light somewhere below..as if calling out "Save me from this stinking shit hole!". I tried to reach for it, but the smell and the sight got me gagging. Urrgh..the thought of it makes me wanna vomit all over again!!!! YUCK! Seeing my wretched face, he kicked me away from the hole and did the hole-digging himself. Conclusion : the phone was rescued but did not survive, and I "died in the hands" (literally translated from cantonese) of him - my mobile saviour.

And those were my 5 sweetest memories tht I can remember. As I said, those memories never remained sweet. But anyway, thank you to all the guys tht added a piece of bitter-sweet memory to my life. Doesn't matter who was the jerk - u or me, what matters is that we once shared it and we cannot ever erase it.
Moral of the story : Appreciate the good things that you share with your partner because u never know when it will be taken from you. The next time u have an argument, think only of the sweet things and surely ur heart will soften and a useless argument avoided. As my pastor said today "The Best Has Yet To Come". (Hoho...surprise surprise I actually came up with a good moral to my story heh?!!?)

I declare PEACE (waves white flag)

2005-06-26T22:37:00.000+08:00

As I sit here waiting for my car to be resprayed (yeah some idiot bang into my astoundingly beautiful red baby!). I reflect on how my blog has affected my readers. Plenty have commented to me that now only they know condom came in sizes while some others have gotten into some heated disagreement with one another. I'm ok with the condom-part but greatly disturbed by the disagreements. Does it really take so little to start a fight? Have we gotten so obnoxious that we are unable to accept the views and thoughts of others? Can we not just accept a person as himself eventhough that is not how you want urself to be? (..sigh~~...)Think not of oneself, but instead focus on the rest of humanity that is at this moment suffering. Certainly that is more worth our energy, is it not? And while you're at it, please support WWF and save the Orang Utans :)

What say you?

2005-06-25T08:59:00.000+08:00

Some people said life is too short and some said life is just too long...
I guess it depend on which side of fence you are. Besides, who would on their death bed said "HOORRY! AT LAST I AM GONE!".

*blink**blink**blink* that does make life perspective much clearer right?

Nobody welcome death. The word itself shock our senses and threaten us somehow (*you know what I mean*). For those out there who want to live say up to 60 years (*before diseases rack your body or you think being old is too boring*), and think you could achieve that by drinking like there is no tomorrow, smoking because you think you are a chu-chu train and refuse to exercise...

Well... that is your choice. I mean really, that is your choice (*Got you there, wasn't I? HA HA HA)

So basically I think, whether life is too short or too long, it would really...really depend on how you make it. Ponder on it today and you might just realize what you have been missing... and make each day count :-D

DECISION: How to make the right one?

2005-06-24T11:45:00.000+08:00

Hey if I know you think I will write this? (hehehe)

I am still experiencing ... when I get a right one ... there will be enormous pleasure
When I get a wrong one... *tut* (You got it. Something better left unsaid).

This is a good article about decision making from Holy Bible (Best Book in the world).
http://www.pbc.org/dp/zeisler/3973.html

Credit for the writer... and enlightment for the rest of us :-D God Bless.

BLOG: What is RIGHT OR WRONG?

2005-06-24T11:16:00.000+08:00

People..do you know what is a blog used for? I have no idea actually so I will tell u my defination. My blog is an avenue for me to express whatever nonsense goes on in my head. To reveal my sadness , happiness, dissapointment, hurt, frustration ..etc..(u get the idea). And of course I allow my friends to express themselves too in my blog. As the title of my blog suggest ie. Looney Bin, this is a crazy blog place. Nothing in it is to be taken to be the utmost truth or to be taken seriously AT ALL. Basically the dog's bark is louder than its bite - so what we fantasize we will probably never ever do. So for those of u who seems to take offence to the articles, please kick your narrow-mindedness to the previous century, and instead open urself to a world of imagination. And hey, u're also welcome to publish educational and benefitting articles. We are all responsible for our own action, don't put the blame for ur action on someone else's writings.

Finally I wanna thank one of my dearest and bestest friend ever, Boo for giving me the inspiration to create this blog. In his words - you paint how you want your world to be like. Thanks Boo for ur support all these times and helping to wake me up from my depression. Love u and rest of GO6 to bits !!!!

How Funny...

2005-06-24T10:56:00.000+08:00

When I was young, I always picture man as tall, dark and handsome. As I grow up and growing old (Urg! Hello... this happen to you too ok!) all I see is short, white as "pak cham kei" and errr... no comment...

Why is it so different, huh. WHY WHY WHY? (*frust*)I remember so clearly in all novels... all the heroes so "yummy" but reality is just ain't that pretty.

It only enforce my idea that love novels are written from people who desperately want to ignore reality and dream in their own world for those people who believe in that world.

And you know what hurt? When you thought you have all that figure out, your friend walked pass with her new "Mr. Universe"! (*dead silent*)

DARN! Now I have re-think what I already thought I knew now I don't know and...and...
You got it. I don't know what to think any more.

Is it true...

2005-06-24T02:31:00.000+08:00

Is it true that younger man will go for older woman? This is some kinda trend? Some even fantasized 10 years older (saliva dropping…). Does that mean I am able to have 20 years old man? (YEAH YEAH YEAH… you could hear Usher’s song playing in the background).

Anyway, it is hope for us all… not that I will attempt (yeah right!) but nevertheless story on Demi Moore and Ashton Kusher does give us hope. (teng!teng!teng!) .

*sigh* Man does have it all izzit it. When they are younger, they can have older woman and when they are older, they can have younger woman (*almost wish to be a man*...almost only ok.) Because the other side of coin ring true too.... (HAHAHA! We can have older man first then younger man later. ).

Now it is our turn to have fun :-P

Hhhmmm… I do wonder how does it feel? Those who have done it all with “been there, did that” should be able to share some light??? Let me know how does young meat feels like … (*evil laughs*). Ooopppsss…

Make Love Not War

2005-06-23T23:01:00.000+08:00

Today I had a fight with a dear friend of mine. Left me really sad because he made me realised I was an insensitive selfish bitch.Ok can't exactly call it a fight since he did not use his karate chops and I did not use my Zhang Ziyi kicks...but still a disagreement nevertheless. Once again my heartfelt and sincere apologies to you Paul for being the naughty devil that I am *blows kisses*

So anyway, the short fight with Paul that I had today made me realise how important it is not to fight and why we should instead promote Making Love Instead Of War. I know nuts about making war, and I hope people will believe me too when I say I know nuts about making love! (OK Stop
laughing!). Well you should believe me since I really did thought there was only one brand of condoms ie. Durex. But of couse I also know that Durex has type normal, Ribbed , Featherlight, ExtraSafe...etc.. Ermm, I read that from an encyclopedia *angelic smile*

Well, to cut a long story short, I really don't know how to make love. What exactly is the meaning of MAKE LOVE? Is it simply the ritual of having sex? Or does it involve more passion and feeling? Does it involve Kama Sutra positions? Btw, is 'Helicopter' position part of the KamaSutra??!! I really wonder how that works. I mean is the guy's thing really long enough to still be attached to the girl while she is flying around above him? U get the picture?? A collegue of mine (who btw promotes drinking papaya milk for bigger breast..of course she taught me way TOO LATE coz tht should have been done while in "expanding meat" stage of life) once showed me a picture of this fascinating position and believe me, you really gotta be a yoga expert to be flying round and round up there and still get orgasm!

Which brings me to another question...what exactly is orgasm?!! Is it really like in the books and I quote "as his manhood push harder and deeper into her, she felt her body quivering and shaking uncontrollably. The stars and the moon exploded before her as she reach her climax.
Aaahhh...aaahhhhhh...Ooooo she screams before she finally heave a loud Awwwwww..and drops into his pulsating sweating body". My gosh, orgasm sounds like lots of fun, and yet tough work. Indeed it must be tough work for a lot of ladies coz plenty of my gf tells me they should be awarded an oscar for best actress in bed. Their advice to me - perfect the art of closing half eyes and letting out joyous lusty screams. Duh~~

Moral of story : It's not good to still be a virgin at 30 (QUIT LAUGHING will ya!) coz then u dun know to believe the lusty books or to believe your friends, and definitely because you cannot experience stars and moon exploding in your head....*harder, harder*

2005-06-23T15:24:00.000+08:00

People enjoyin in Chicken-Lala land

King of Chicken Worm

2005-06-23T15:15:00.000+08:00

******* Please note : *********

The below is only from my cuckoo imagination and is in no way reference to any person - dead or alive

***********************************************************************************

For those of ya who have no idea what or who Chicken Worm is, try translating it to Cantonese and u get the idea.
And a typical chicken worm's favourite place to go is of course a certain exotic land ladden with cheap and pretty chickens.

So here is my story of a chicken worm I know...and his name in short is CW.

Once upon a time, there lived an innoccent angelic little boy with big blue round eyes in some far off land known to many as Potato-land. So innoccent was he that he thought condoms only came in one size *duh* (actually I thought condoms came in one brand!)

Then the day came when little CW was to become a man...a TRUE man...showing off his manhood to the most deserving female in chicken-land. But alas....*ring*ring*..a call from CW for moi --> conversation goes something like "Sob, sob, LooneyBin...HELP me!!! I can't fit in"

*Looney Bin scratches head in wonder*

What exactly can't this guy fit in??!!??!! "Looney Bin, I'm too BIG!! I can't fit in your little asian condom"
*Looney Bin rofl and faints*

WTF?!!! Did u get the largest size? Sure he did, and yet he can't fit in. Makes me start to wonder how huge is this "asset" of his ...hmmm....ok, ok...stop imagining! So the 1st encounter with chicken for poor CW ended on a dissapointing note. But fear not CW, sos is coming!!!

*arrival of european-size rubber*

A-ha, with right size rubber in hand, CW sets off in search of new chicken blood once again. This time he shall not fail....or so he thinks. Sigh~~~ *ring*ring* Once again a cry for help --> "Sob, sob, LooneyBin...HELP me!!! I can't fit in"

WTF again?!!! Did he like drink a ton of Tongkat Ali?!! Imagination running wild again. Maybe I should strip him and see for myself....*vomit*vomit*

"NO!!!! The condom fits just fine. It's the hole...it's too bloody small!"

*Looney Bin dies laughing*

Moral of story : Before sticking the batang into a hole, make sure the batang is not bigger than the hole :) Else it's gonna be a STICKY situation.