Holiday

Finally holiday time is here.

Though we're not going anywhere fancy, but a holiday is a holiday and I need to tell myself this time to TOTALLY forget about work and just chill out. Afterall, this is the 1st time in 4 years that

I can go holiday without a kid in tow.

Of course there is also that niggling guilt of not bring Z along and hubby keeps asking 'should we?' and my heart always answers 'she would love it'.

But this time I must be strong. This time I will let my head rule.

The answer shall be 'NO'.

Hope that doesn't get changed in the next few days ....

I miss her

U know how it's like - when u have something and it's noisy, u wish it will just go away and give u some peace. Then when it's finally gone, u suddenly find it's too quiet and lonely. Well that's the case with my daughter. When she's around, she's non-stop talking or crying or screaming or fussing - sometimes to the point of giving me a bad migraine. But now that she has gone off to live with my parents in law, the house has gotten too quiet. Initially I enjoyed the peacefulness, but now that 3 weeks has passed, I'm kinda wishing she'll come back soon. I miss hugging her to sleep and the cute little songs she sings to me. I miss her sweaty little hands clasping onto mine and most of all I miss hearing her sweet little 'I love u mummy'.

It's bad enough missing my little baby, I also have to miss my own mummy. No more mummy to accompany me to the market for my weekly food supplies:( But i hope my mum is having lots of fun - she's holidaying in UK right now. Think she really deserves it coz she's been getting migraine from both Zaydeen and the maid :-p

Though I miss them dearly, but I guess it's not too bad an experience.

Firstly I get back some ME time to do the things I want to do.

Secondly I learn to be more appreciative of my love ones.

Thirdly I'm also more appreciate of my maid - despite how lazy she is at times, I learnt that it is really tiring taking care of the house and keeping it sparkling clean.

Fourthly my in laws now know their grand-daughter is like an energizer battery and is not that easy to handle.

And lastly, it's good to have some time alone with my husband - to finally be able to go on dates without the little one in between and to have conversations with him without Zaydeen butting her face in the middle of us.

And I think the dogs love it too coz I get to give them more attention and they don't have a little kid running after them and trying to wrestle them :-p

So my recommendation - YES this should be an annual affair but maybe a shorter time frame - 2 weeks maybe? :D

Happy Anniversary

Again...another year has passed and I am back to update my blog.

I'm surprised that it hasn't already been 'killed'. And technology has improved so much that now I can make the blog look better simply with a few click of buttons.

I work in IT line but I am so outdated. That means to say I really don't like to work in the IT line.

In fact I hate to work and I wish I had the luxury of working for causes that matters to me such as WWF or Children with autism. But unfortunately I have not reach that level yet so I have to continue to work hard and pray one day I can actually do that.

Season of change

Year 2009 - year of change.
We've finally got ourselves a landed house :) At last I don't have to climb up the stairs when the lift breaks down for the umpteenth time, and I don't have to go 2-3 rounds to carry the luggage when we travel . The best thing is my poor dogs will not have to be 'fugitives' anymore and will alas be able to roam freely in the garden. Yes, we're gonna have a garden too..yippee. Well a small garden but nevertheless still a garden. Of course I'll also miss the swimming pool which Zaydeen is beginning to enjoy. But it'll be a good change definitely as the current apartment has started to feel too crampy with the growing kid and additional maid. Purchasing the house was easy (not so much on the wallet though), but now comes the biggest headache of renovating it. Because of budget constraint, there are a lot of 'wish to have' that simply has to remain just that - wishes only. And to add to my headache, hubby insisted on getting a Feng Shui master to check out the house and ended up we need to do some not so conventional modification to the house which also cost another bomb. Anyway that's a story for another day.

As for little Zaydeen, she's going to nursery next week!!! She's so excited about it and keep mentioning she wants to go to school though I don't really think she knows what school actually is. I'm just as excited as her actually coz I think she will really love playing with the other kids and learning new thing. But yet I'm also fearful if she'll be alright by herself with strangers. Worried if she'll be taken good care of. Will the other kids bully her. Worried if the caretaker will beat her since she's really naughty at times. Don't even know why I'm so worried since she did go to daycare since she was 2 months. But somehow feel different now. Well, shall just have to pray for God to watch over her.

This is also year of promotion for me. Nothing much to shout about since it's a promotion without a raise! Just means added responsibility and added input required. When I was young I used to be ambitious and had a dream of being some powerful career lady. BUT marriage and motherhood has mellowed me a lot, and honestly nowadays all I really want is a boring mundane 9-5 job with no stress and no challenge and that allows me to go home early to the family.

Next hubby got a new job and his office is just 2 blocks behind my office! Haha talk about close proximity. And now both our office is gonna be really near our new house. Perfect! No more 1 hour jam on the LDP to get home. No more having to pay the exorbitant tols. By the way, why the heck do we need to pay to get caught in a jam? Anyway, hubby's new job means an increase in our family income. Yahoo....one tiny little step towards my dreams of retiring early....YA RIGHT!

And the final change, Sis is getting married! Sis is going to be 40 next year, and we really thought she was gonna be an old maid the rest of her life :-p It wasn't because she lacked choices, but she just didn't have much fate to remain with the guys. So thank God she finally found her perfect man and we don't have to worry about her anymore..hahaha.

So let's hope that the rest of the year will bring more good changes :)

I want to be a stone

I'm back!! Been such a busy busy mummy, and Zaydeen's already 13 months now. Below are some pics of her birthday celebration at her daycare centre with her other little friends.



And this link shows what she does at her daycare - typically being a hiao por :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tl1hVGN8zvI

Ok back to adult things. You may be wondering what in the world my blog title means. Well that's actually the conclusion I got from after some religious discussion with some of my colleagues. Being in Malaysia, we are multi-cultural and multi-religion and we supposingly respect each other's religion. Supposingly I said because I guess most religions do think of themselves as the superior religion. Anyway one of my colleague is a guru on Buddhism/Taoism Malaysian style, and I was just commenting that the religion is kind of frightening because there seems to be so many different 'Gods' belonging to that religion. Compared to that, Christianity is just about one God and one destination - heaven. Well it's the same isn't it, argues my colleague MC. Buddhism also has one God .... seems all the different Gods are actually the same God but with different personalities and colors and looks. Some sort like human I guess - we're all just human but we look white and black and yellow. But anyway, MC said Buddhism also has one destination which is Nirvana which is when one has achieved perfection and doesn't need to return to this world to suffer anymore. So for him, Nirvana is like heaven except that one doesn't just go to Heaven when they die, they need to be reborn into different things such as an ant, a dog, a human, an angel (??) until they achieved perfection in life.

So what is the purpose of Nirvana? For Christians we believe that in Heaven everything is perfect and there is love all around and that is all eternal. That is why we wish to go to heaven coz hell is a bloody burning hole. (My personal opinion!!) But Nirvana according to MC is feel-less. You will cease to have any attachment, any feelings and just totally unemotional. If I understood him correctly. SO my question to him was, does tht mean perfection is being a piece of stone? Is that what they want to reach? As a stone one feels nothing, hurt nothing, kills nothing and love nothings. Not so bad actually if you think about it coz then you'll definitely not be suffering at all. Interesting point. But... I think I'll stick to my heaven.

Yes I respect all religions, but I am not ashame to say that my religion is superior to all religions. O please don't send me any bombs or death threats - this is just a personal opinion. I'm sure we are allowed that, aren't we? And for those who don't know, my husband is a Buddhist and he gets to have his prayer table in our house. My dad used to be a buddhist too and my mum followed him. Even though she had loved the Christian teachings very much, but she followed my dad faithfully. Her teory was that she didn't want them to be separated in death. Awwww. I think it's the same for me. So dear husband, I'm waiting for you to become a Christian.. :-p

ACT 19:11 - God did extraordinary miracles through Paul for me.

Btw, my mum did become a Christian finally after the passing of my dad.

As time flies

With a blink of an eye, and it's already been more than a month since my last entry. In that blink of a month we have celebrated mudpie's birthday - well belated coz we were too busy enjoying ourselves in Jerajak. This is a picture of him with his birthday hat and of him enjoying his birthday cake :D


From the tiny little puppy that could fit into my palm, he's now 2 years old and a definately much more matured boy. It's amazing how a different spesies of animal could actually also learn to be attached to a human and he's really grown to be like a son to me. I'm hoping one day he'll be able to play around with Zaydeen and love her just as much as he loves me :)

Zaydeen too been growing up fast in this space of 1 month. From crawling on her tummy she's now able to sit by herself, crawl on all four and now pulling herself up and standing in the cot. O she's definitely growing up fast, which means I am also growing older fast too.

Today I was wondering aloud with my husband about what this world has become and is this really a world where we want our little angel to grow up in. Recently there's been a few cases of little girls kidnapped and some brutally murdered, and it has come to the point that it is even unsafe for little girls to be just standing outside their house! I find that really saddening because our homes have now become like a prison. Would Zaydeen not have the opportunities which I had as a little girl to enjoy her childhood? Would she not have the chance to cycle to the park with her friends? Would she not be able to just hop over to her friend house for a play session without mummy tagging along? My goodness, she won't even be able to enjoy looking for little 'longkang' fish in the little drain outside the house gate. Our children's childhood would now have to revolve around computers and television.

I remembered when I was in primary school, I was usually home alone after school and my friends lived along the same road as me. We would just go to each other's house and our parents did not have to fear we'll be captured by some pervert. There were days we even went to the big drain at the end of the road to sit by the bridge looking for rubbish or fish in the muddy water. In fact, I even walked to school by myself and it took me 15 minutes to get to school but my folks never had to fear that some sicko would try to sexually assault me. Sure occasionally there were those problematic 'flasher' but compared to the perverts of today, those 'flasher' now seems to be pretty harmless.

Much as I hate to become those overly anxious parent, but I think I have no choice in today's world but to ensure such heinous crime doesn't happen to my little angel. What option would I have besides being by her side every minute possible? I could only imagine the pain and suffering the parents of those missing girls go through. I however cannot imagine what kind of human could be so cold hearted to harm a being so young and innoccent. Could it be they are really without soul and compassion? How frightening if that was true.....