Christmas always brings some sort of sentimental mood to me. Maybe it's the christmas carols or the joy of seeing people going abt selecting presents for their love ones, but it's definitely my favourite festival of the year. Also the most bankrupt festival I must add!
The first miracle of the season has already begun for me and my special friend - whom I have now named BonBon. Bonbon's the dog that I mentioned in my previous blog. Somehow by some magical intervention, my mummy has now declared him an intelligent dog and have given me the consent to feed him! That really goes to show that love and patience can really change a situation even when it seems impossible! My next prayer is for her to allow me to bring him into the house compound and provide him shelter for the rest of his life. Hope you can all pray for this to happen too :D Remember,LOVE NEEDS NO PEDIGREE *wink*
Besides the first miracle, I also got my first present already :) It's not really a Christmas present since I already know what's in it, and the joy of receiving the present is not because it's a present but because it was given to me by my good friend who was also my ex-ex bf. This goes to show that there can be friendship after a broken relationship, and you don't need to be in love with someone to care for them. People always ask me if there is a possibility to love him again, and my answer to you all is there isn't because I never stop loving him in the first place. We have evolved from a romantic r/ship to a more meaningful friendship now and I think that's simply superb because we have become each other's supporter in this life which is full of shitty matters.
I admit life is never smooth, and so full of twist and turns. Sometimes I might feel like giving up on it, and sometimes I feel it has so much hope. Sometimes along the way I'll meet people who really touch my heart and yet at other times I'll meet people who's insincere in their concern for me. Then there are the guys who promises me the world and produces nothing, and there are those who dare not promise anything but show me the world. In each being that I meet, I know God has He reason for making me meet them. Maybe I will not know right now why, but someday I am sure He will reveal. My hope is that in each being I meet, I have been able to show them a little piece of what God's love is really all about. And that is truly what Christmas is all about - not the presents, but the celebration of God's love for us all.
Don't believe God love you? Then sit down and reflect on this. At each of your lowest point in life - be it business failure, work failure, love failure, money failure...has God not always provided a way for you to stand back up? We should all take the example of innoccent little BonBon - with tail wagging he courageously faces up to each day with the hope that a miracle will happen for him.I salute you Lord for showing me the way :)
Merry Christmas everyone!!!
Monday, December 19, 2005
Saturday, December 10, 2005
Irony of Life
Don't you sometimes feel like life is a game? A cruel game infact.
There's a cute little doggy that lives opposite my house. Well not exactly live there coz he's been thrown out of the house to become a stray dog, but yet he loyally stays close to the house and even happily wags his tail when he sees the people of the house. Ironic that he's been betrayed by the owner, and yet he's delighted to see them. Even more ironic that those inhumane people can rear a dog but chose to dump such a jovial dog, while I am longing to bring him into my house and yet disallowed from doing so by my mum. I do try to feed the little fella whatever I can get my hands on, but of course at the expense of my mum screaming at me *sad*
When it comes to the working world, there are those are already rich, but yet all the good opportunities just keep falling into their laps. And on the other end of the scale are those who work day and night like a cow but are never rewarded rightfully. Those who sit and daydream at their job, and get the big fat bonus! And why have I never tasted what it's like to have something called a bonus? The unfairness of life indeed.
In love matters, there are those ugly roses that gets the super and some,rich,charismatic guys. Always leave me scratching my head wondering what is their secret?!! Then u have the tall beautiful ladies with the short, big bellied guys. Opposites really attracts?! But the worst case are those who has the best partner they could ever have, but are not willing to open their eyes to see the gem that they have and let it go. Wait, there is an even worse case. Believing something that isn't really true - like cases of women who make themselves believe that the guy loves them, and sell their soul for those guys.
My personal all time best irony - a person can give you the happiest memories in your life, and on the other hand could also be the person to give you the worst heartache ever.
Who said life was boring?
There's a cute little doggy that lives opposite my house. Well not exactly live there coz he's been thrown out of the house to become a stray dog, but yet he loyally stays close to the house and even happily wags his tail when he sees the people of the house. Ironic that he's been betrayed by the owner, and yet he's delighted to see them. Even more ironic that those inhumane people can rear a dog but chose to dump such a jovial dog, while I am longing to bring him into my house and yet disallowed from doing so by my mum. I do try to feed the little fella whatever I can get my hands on, but of course at the expense of my mum screaming at me *sad*
When it comes to the working world, there are those are already rich, but yet all the good opportunities just keep falling into their laps. And on the other end of the scale are those who work day and night like a cow but are never rewarded rightfully. Those who sit and daydream at their job, and get the big fat bonus! And why have I never tasted what it's like to have something called a bonus? The unfairness of life indeed.
In love matters, there are those ugly roses that gets the super and some,rich,charismatic guys. Always leave me scratching my head wondering what is their secret?!! Then u have the tall beautiful ladies with the short, big bellied guys. Opposites really attracts?! But the worst case are those who has the best partner they could ever have, but are not willing to open their eyes to see the gem that they have and let it go. Wait, there is an even worse case. Believing something that isn't really true - like cases of women who make themselves believe that the guy loves them, and sell their soul for those guys.
My personal all time best irony - a person can give you the happiest memories in your life, and on the other hand could also be the person to give you the worst heartache ever.
Who said life was boring?
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
I.D.I.O.T.S
I wonder if it's the season or just the stress of life that causes more idiots to pop up nowadays. I'm sure plenty of people would call me an idiot too without me knowing about it, but I sure hope I'm not as big an idiot as the idiots that crossed my path recently.
The past week I came down with some strange illness that just left me really lifeless and unfocused, and I suspected it was due to high blood pressure. So anyway, all I wanted was to rest and not be stressed further. You can imagine my frustration and my irritation when instead all kind of idiots started cropping up and giving me problems. I was accused of things which I did not do and could not be there to defend myself. And it made me think was it worth all my effort of fighting and dedicating my time to my work, when all I was repaid with was frustration and ungratefulness?
It's not only work. On the roads too there lay many idiots. Just the other day, some guy who wasn't patient enough to wait in the proper lane tried to jump the queue and cut into my lane. Being in such a horrible bad mood that I was, I was pretty determine this was one bugger who would not be bullying me. So at the expense of my car being scratched by the idiot, I just refused to allow him into my lane. And can u believe it, the idiot actually horned at me and gave me the middle finger! And after that when I got in front of him, he used his highlights to flash me. What has people become that they think it's their right to scold others when they themself were in the wrong in the first place? Do they think that the whole world needs to bow down to their needs and wants?
Yes there are plenty of those kind of people cropping up in the world today. Everyone has gotten so self-centred that everything is always about them, them and them. They do not see the fault in stepping on those who are more considerate. Like the bitch who made the fuss and stole my new laptop. *Pissed beyond words* Everyday experience has only taught me that one has to talk loud, act brash, and be totally selfish to get ahead. In other words, be a total idiot and you will be rewarded with whatever you want!
However nice it may be to have all that I want, yet I do not think that is what I want to be. What is the point of getting everything but on the other hand you get loss of respect and curses on you and your future generation? As my good friend advised me, no matter how bad peope may treat you, do not stoop to their level. Continue to be someone good and nice, even to those who do not deserve it. Even God provides to those who are undeserving! So all you idiots, you can continue taking advantage of my good nature. Continue using me for your own needs. Continue being incosiderate to my feelings. Because what matters to me is not you.
The past week I came down with some strange illness that just left me really lifeless and unfocused, and I suspected it was due to high blood pressure. So anyway, all I wanted was to rest and not be stressed further. You can imagine my frustration and my irritation when instead all kind of idiots started cropping up and giving me problems. I was accused of things which I did not do and could not be there to defend myself. And it made me think was it worth all my effort of fighting and dedicating my time to my work, when all I was repaid with was frustration and ungratefulness?
It's not only work. On the roads too there lay many idiots. Just the other day, some guy who wasn't patient enough to wait in the proper lane tried to jump the queue and cut into my lane. Being in such a horrible bad mood that I was, I was pretty determine this was one bugger who would not be bullying me. So at the expense of my car being scratched by the idiot, I just refused to allow him into my lane. And can u believe it, the idiot actually horned at me and gave me the middle finger! And after that when I got in front of him, he used his highlights to flash me. What has people become that they think it's their right to scold others when they themself were in the wrong in the first place? Do they think that the whole world needs to bow down to their needs and wants?
Yes there are plenty of those kind of people cropping up in the world today. Everyone has gotten so self-centred that everything is always about them, them and them. They do not see the fault in stepping on those who are more considerate. Like the bitch who made the fuss and stole my new laptop. *Pissed beyond words* Everyday experience has only taught me that one has to talk loud, act brash, and be totally selfish to get ahead. In other words, be a total idiot and you will be rewarded with whatever you want!
However nice it may be to have all that I want, yet I do not think that is what I want to be. What is the point of getting everything but on the other hand you get loss of respect and curses on you and your future generation? As my good friend advised me, no matter how bad peope may treat you, do not stoop to their level. Continue to be someone good and nice, even to those who do not deserve it. Even God provides to those who are undeserving! So all you idiots, you can continue taking advantage of my good nature. Continue using me for your own needs. Continue being incosiderate to my feelings. Because what matters to me is not you.
Friday, November 18, 2005
How To Keep The Passion Alive
Marriage is a bore. Passion can never last......
Is that statement right or wrong in your opinion? I have never been married, so I won't even dare to answer that! So from this point on I speak from the experiences that people share with me ya :)
When you're dating, everything is rosy and fine. U pay for your own stuff. U drive your own car. U pay ur own credit card bills. Dirty laundry? Do it urself of course. If u argue, U go back to sleep in your own bed and not speak to each other for a few days. After not seeing each other for a few hours, u just missssssssss the other so much that you contemplate marrying just so u can be together forever. Awww...how sweet.....
UNTIL u actually do live together, and start arguing over who does the cleaning, who pays the damn utilities bill, who does the cooking, who irons the clothes. And heck, that is even before baby comes along! So with all these "pressures" of staying together, how do u suppose the fire of passion can stay lighted?!! And then comes the too frequently used line - "not tonight honey, I'm tired" :-p
So after hearing this from not one but several friends, a logical conclusion would be DON'T GET MARRIED. And if you do, live apart!
No come on, there must be a more logical way to this, right? Women magazines always advice 'interesting' stuffs like dressing up as a nurse, or surprising ur partner by being naked when he comes home, or preparing romantic candlelight dinners once a month...and the best...buying a full set of leather clothing and accessories to be used in the bedroom. *saliva dripping* BUT how many of u actually do that, huh huh? Try it lar!
For me sometimes being in a non-married relationship also can get boring. Maybe boring is not the right word. Maybe we should call it mundane? Or predictable? Ya!!! Predictable must be the word. It happens when you get so used to a person that you can tell everything that person is going to do, so there's no surprises left for u. And that leads to boringness. So this means that to keep the passion alive, you have to remain mysterious and unpredictable. If your romantic dinner is always at a western steak house, why not change to spicy Northern Indian the next time - guaranteed to make you sweat! Always dressed in t-shirt and jeans? Wear something captivating and sexy once a while to make your partner drool for you. If your usual 'playtime' location is in the bedroom, maybe the next time you can get horny in the kitchen? (ooo....don't forget to fully utilise all the fruits and owww..the ice..owww)
But please remember this everyone. Never equate passion to love. You may lose your passion for your partner, but that does not mean you have stopped loving him/her. Just because you don't feel like kissing ur partner, or jumping into bed with him/her, or you don't even miss them after not seeing them for a week, THAT DOES NOT mean you don't love anymore. Passion needs to be worked on sometimes. From all the Aunt Agony letters I read in the newspaper, I feel a lot of people have made this mistake. They meet someone new and get passionate about that person, and because of the raised passion they feel they are in love when in actual fact it is just plain lust. Because of their new found 'love', they drop their current partner to discover later they don't actually love the new one. So dear friends, do tread carefully. And of course don't forget that a piece of ice can be VERY PASSIONATE. (I speak from other's experience and not mine *angelic smile*)
In conclusion, love earnestly and sincerely. Sometimes love needs a bit of helping hand. So once a while add some sugar and spice into the relationship. Once a while remind your partner why they captivate you and what you love so much about them. Compliment them if they look good. Give each other more hugs and kisses. All small things, but could cause serious electrocution between you both ;) If all else fails, just say the 3 magical words - I love you. Never fails :D
TGIF!!
Is that statement right or wrong in your opinion? I have never been married, so I won't even dare to answer that! So from this point on I speak from the experiences that people share with me ya :)
When you're dating, everything is rosy and fine. U pay for your own stuff. U drive your own car. U pay ur own credit card bills. Dirty laundry? Do it urself of course. If u argue, U go back to sleep in your own bed and not speak to each other for a few days. After not seeing each other for a few hours, u just missssssssss the other so much that you contemplate marrying just so u can be together forever. Awww...how sweet.....
UNTIL u actually do live together, and start arguing over who does the cleaning, who pays the damn utilities bill, who does the cooking, who irons the clothes. And heck, that is even before baby comes along! So with all these "pressures" of staying together, how do u suppose the fire of passion can stay lighted?!! And then comes the too frequently used line - "not tonight honey, I'm tired" :-p
So after hearing this from not one but several friends, a logical conclusion would be DON'T GET MARRIED. And if you do, live apart!
No come on, there must be a more logical way to this, right? Women magazines always advice 'interesting' stuffs like dressing up as a nurse, or surprising ur partner by being naked when he comes home, or preparing romantic candlelight dinners once a month...and the best...buying a full set of leather clothing and accessories to be used in the bedroom. *saliva dripping* BUT how many of u actually do that, huh huh? Try it lar!
For me sometimes being in a non-married relationship also can get boring. Maybe boring is not the right word. Maybe we should call it mundane? Or predictable? Ya!!! Predictable must be the word. It happens when you get so used to a person that you can tell everything that person is going to do, so there's no surprises left for u. And that leads to boringness. So this means that to keep the passion alive, you have to remain mysterious and unpredictable. If your romantic dinner is always at a western steak house, why not change to spicy Northern Indian the next time - guaranteed to make you sweat! Always dressed in t-shirt and jeans? Wear something captivating and sexy once a while to make your partner drool for you. If your usual 'playtime' location is in the bedroom, maybe the next time you can get horny in the kitchen? (ooo....don't forget to fully utilise all the fruits and owww..the ice..owww)
But please remember this everyone. Never equate passion to love. You may lose your passion for your partner, but that does not mean you have stopped loving him/her. Just because you don't feel like kissing ur partner, or jumping into bed with him/her, or you don't even miss them after not seeing them for a week, THAT DOES NOT mean you don't love anymore. Passion needs to be worked on sometimes. From all the Aunt Agony letters I read in the newspaper, I feel a lot of people have made this mistake. They meet someone new and get passionate about that person, and because of the raised passion they feel they are in love when in actual fact it is just plain lust. Because of their new found 'love', they drop their current partner to discover later they don't actually love the new one. So dear friends, do tread carefully. And of course don't forget that a piece of ice can be VERY PASSIONATE. (I speak from other's experience and not mine *angelic smile*)
In conclusion, love earnestly and sincerely. Sometimes love needs a bit of helping hand. So once a while add some sugar and spice into the relationship. Once a while remind your partner why they captivate you and what you love so much about them. Compliment them if they look good. Give each other more hugs and kisses. All small things, but could cause serious electrocution between you both ;) If all else fails, just say the 3 magical words - I love you. Never fails :D
TGIF!!
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Whatsoever things are true…think on these things
The other day I was having a round table conference with a bunch of my friends, and we were very troubled. Why? Coz a year ago, maybe 2 in fact, we were also gathered together in the same way, and thinking deeply on the very same matter we had that day. What do we want in life? It was troubling to know that we ask this question year after year, and year after year we still don’t have an answer to it! I don’t think any of us were stupid morons, but somehow I think we have just been programmed to continue each day as we did before. Heck I wanted to work part time at the pet shop for 4.50 an hour and they laughed at me saying my parking and petrol would cost more than what I would earn. Such encouraging friends you are!!!
Then today 3 different persons came to me to announce they are very bored with life, and that life has no meaning, love has no meaning, work has no meaning. And did you notice when people keep repeating the same thing to you over and over like a broken record, you tend to fall for it and believe it yourself? An example is my colleague who keeps telling me he has some resemblance to Leslie Cheung. In the beginning I wanted to vomit, but nowadays I see some attractiveness in him. Oopss…the key word is “SOME”. Anyway, why has life become so meaningless to most people nowadays? Even for me I must admit. If suicide was not such an unforgivable sin, I think most would have just finished off their mundane life on earth. I spend so much time thinking about where to find happiness, what I want for my future, how I want to be treated, how I want to love, what is right, what is wrong, where I should head in my career…that I suddenly realized why am I wasting so much time worrying and thinking about things that might never happen? The bible quote that guides me today is the title of this blog – Whatsoever things are true...think on these things.
Worried about paying off your house loan? Why worry because worry is just a guess that you might not be able to pay it off in future. But you can today right? So focus on what’s real. Wondering where you are heading in your career? Well stop it, because what you are doing today is real. Don’t continue to wonder when you will be the CEO or COO, because you can’t be any of those without perfecting what you are doing now. And only by focusing on it can you perfect it, right? Are you suspicious that your partner is cheating on you or lying to you about something? As long as the proof doesn’t hit you in the face, the truth is he/she is still your partner and you got to focus on making sure he/she remains your partner. So what’s the conclusion? I think it means live your life today and don’t worry about the possibilities of tomorrow.
Ok that dealt with continual living, but still doesn’t solve the part about ‘what do I want’. I would never know what I want at work that’s for sure. I just filled in my personal work review, and frankly I have no clue what nonsense I was filling in. I actually just wanted to write on the form in big bold letter “since you’re never gonna raise my salary and this review is just going straight into some filing cabinet, then why are you wasting my f**king time doing this”. But of course even on PMS days, I have a very logical mind :D
Next what do I want in love? The aunties in my office always remind me this – forget the looks, make sure he’s rich. And o, on some good days they might add – make sure he is faithful and caring. Oooo, for a moment I thought they just cared about the money...haha. I might as well be wishing for Brad Pitt to appear at my doorstep, right? What do I want, what do I want? I think at this moment I just want a man who’s there for me at every moment in my life, and not someone whom I have to be on guard with 24/7 and always doubting his intentions towards me. Ah..that reminds me about an interesting relationship discussion, but that should come in my next blog.
I think I’m tired already of thinking what I want. Only God knows what I truly want. Or maybe a certain Jason is right – maybe we should give ourselves time to sit down quietly and reflect peacefully within ourselves what we truly want. Well maybe one day…until then I would look forward to next year when I can gather round the table with my friends again and ask ourselves the question “What do I want” AGAIN! Cheers mate!
Then today 3 different persons came to me to announce they are very bored with life, and that life has no meaning, love has no meaning, work has no meaning. And did you notice when people keep repeating the same thing to you over and over like a broken record, you tend to fall for it and believe it yourself? An example is my colleague who keeps telling me he has some resemblance to Leslie Cheung. In the beginning I wanted to vomit, but nowadays I see some attractiveness in him. Oopss…the key word is “SOME”. Anyway, why has life become so meaningless to most people nowadays? Even for me I must admit. If suicide was not such an unforgivable sin, I think most would have just finished off their mundane life on earth. I spend so much time thinking about where to find happiness, what I want for my future, how I want to be treated, how I want to love, what is right, what is wrong, where I should head in my career…that I suddenly realized why am I wasting so much time worrying and thinking about things that might never happen? The bible quote that guides me today is the title of this blog – Whatsoever things are true...think on these things.
Worried about paying off your house loan? Why worry because worry is just a guess that you might not be able to pay it off in future. But you can today right? So focus on what’s real. Wondering where you are heading in your career? Well stop it, because what you are doing today is real. Don’t continue to wonder when you will be the CEO or COO, because you can’t be any of those without perfecting what you are doing now. And only by focusing on it can you perfect it, right? Are you suspicious that your partner is cheating on you or lying to you about something? As long as the proof doesn’t hit you in the face, the truth is he/she is still your partner and you got to focus on making sure he/she remains your partner. So what’s the conclusion? I think it means live your life today and don’t worry about the possibilities of tomorrow.
Ok that dealt with continual living, but still doesn’t solve the part about ‘what do I want’. I would never know what I want at work that’s for sure. I just filled in my personal work review, and frankly I have no clue what nonsense I was filling in. I actually just wanted to write on the form in big bold letter “since you’re never gonna raise my salary and this review is just going straight into some filing cabinet, then why are you wasting my f**king time doing this”. But of course even on PMS days, I have a very logical mind :D
Next what do I want in love? The aunties in my office always remind me this – forget the looks, make sure he’s rich. And o, on some good days they might add – make sure he is faithful and caring. Oooo, for a moment I thought they just cared about the money...haha. I might as well be wishing for Brad Pitt to appear at my doorstep, right? What do I want, what do I want? I think at this moment I just want a man who’s there for me at every moment in my life, and not someone whom I have to be on guard with 24/7 and always doubting his intentions towards me. Ah..that reminds me about an interesting relationship discussion, but that should come in my next blog.
I think I’m tired already of thinking what I want. Only God knows what I truly want. Or maybe a certain Jason is right – maybe we should give ourselves time to sit down quietly and reflect peacefully within ourselves what we truly want. Well maybe one day…until then I would look forward to next year when I can gather round the table with my friends again and ask ourselves the question “What do I want” AGAIN! Cheers mate!
Monday, November 14, 2005
Chicken Lala-land Part II
Finally I’m back from my long awaited holiday, and got to say once again – never have expectations or you’ll be disappointed! It all started rather comically at the airport when I landed, and kind of got “kidnapped” by the local taxi man who was actually trying to escape penalty fine from the policeman at the airport, and started driving me round the airport while I was negotiating my fees with him!
Then came all the tiring walks, not to mention the long haggling over which sites we should visit. And then it was the LONG LONG time it took to further negotiate taxi fares with unscrupulous taxi men who just refused to use the darn meter. Yeah, taxi man and a whole lot of other people left a very bad taste of this chicken land. In fact now I want to rename it to Con-Man land instead! Everywhere you turn someone who’s pretending to be helpful and kind is just waiting to pounce on you and rip some money off you. At least that’s what I felt at the end of my journey there. I think the one that took the cake was probably the assholes at the go-go bar call CASANOVA. Take note...never enter this dungeon! The girls in there were apparently up to Ung’s taste (BAD BAD taste Ung!!) If you’re one who’s into fat flabby body with manly face strutting their urrgh..breast and bums, then this is one place you cannot miss. For the rest of us who are sane and have good taste, this is one place to avoid at all cost. And they had the nerve to want to charge us additional fees for watching those ugly monsters pulling balls out of their pussy and shaking their fats on the bar top. Duh~~ even my dog would look better up there than them!
Overall top enjoyments of this trip:
1) Replenished my supply of lingeries…definitely cheaper and more designs available in Lala-land
2) Slurping down the nice yummy bird nest for only 300 Baht, and seeing SP go high on that. Weird girl to be getting high on bird’s saliva, but I guess some people do have preference for body liquids rather than drugs or alcohol :-p
3) Visiting the Royal Palace and wat wats (temples) in Ayutthaya. Well honestly I was more interested in meeting all those delicious looking Jap guys that were on tour there - until I found their makeup too faggot-ish and taste of clothing out of this world. Heck, but still delicious looking *slurp*
4) Cruising down the Chao Praya river and waiting for the canal gates to open.
5) Savoring the delicious seafood dinner over at Chinatown on our last night.
Overall top regrets :
1) Entering Casanova go-go bar and watching naked fat ladies (or were they men?!) pretending to be sexy. Word of advice from Lonely Planet, stick to the bars at ground level in which you can see the REAL hot babes. Highly recommended by Jay is King’s Castle, King Castle II, Queen’s Castle…and maybe some Pussy Doll?!
2) Missing out on an authentic thai massage! I really regret this one *sob..and double sob*
3) Missing out on the Floating Market, and instead being conned into visiting another floating market on the canal cruise. Best laugh was when boatman said “In front floating market” and all of us stick our head out to see. WAH….geesh, only one boat floating and that’s called a market! That must be the super con job of the year!
4) Spending only an hour in Juktuchak market. This weekend market is so freaking huge I think it would take at least a day to finish exploring it. Well at least less shopping = more money saved :(
5) Not braiding my hair aka hippy style at Khao San road. Would have been so cool to walk into my customer’s meeting and see their jaw drop in seeing they have hired a loony consultant. But then I think they already know that! :D
Ah well, so that was the lovely holiday. And trust me, holidays are so tiring! I need to work another year to gain some rest to recuperate…haha. Next on the list folks – JiuZhaiGou. Start saving your money, and start practicing on those mountain hikings. This time we’re not making Paul the tour guide – “yao yee sing, mou yan sing” bugger :-p Well at least this time he stayed off the chickens. Good boy!
Monday, October 31, 2005
Only the Lonely
With tearful eyes a recently broken hearted friend asked me today "Aren't you lonely without a boyfriend?" Honestly speaking, I replied "No more as lonely as you were when you were with your ex". Why did I reply that? Because hers was a loveless partnership for months before the breakup. Having a boyfriend to her was like having no boyfriend because they led separate lives and barely spoke 10 sentences to each other in one month!
But anyway, of course I am lonely. It's definitely different having someone guaranteed to accompany you shopping or for dinner or to catch the latest movies. Heck, when I initially broke off with my ex, I was so lonely I almost went berserk trying to find things to keep myself busy. However, there is still hope. Get this tip firsthand from the expert - you'll get used to it *wink* It's an adventure of sorts too. Somehow lonely people get to discover other lonely people, and voila, you get a whole new bunch of friends.
Which brings me to an observation I made. Couples tend to hang on to a relationship no matter how boring, how empty it has gotten simply because they are afraid of being lonely once again. And I think that is sad. I'm not mocking these couples because I've been through it myself and know the fearfulness involved. But if you never throw away something old and useless, you can never discover something new and much more exciting. Right or not? Sure I might get lonely, and sure I fear living the rest of my life alone without a lifetime companion, but would you rather settle for someone than risk being lonely? Should we settle for someone simply because that person could provide you companionship? Why not a pet then?!? Pets will definitely give u less headaches and heartbreaks :p
Jokes aside, loneliness is really in the head. If you think you are lonely, then you will feel lonely. But if you seize the moment, then you can change that loneliness into fulfilling moments. Maybe God put those empty moments into your life to allow you to concentrate on other equally important things in your life. Maybe it's breathing space for you to take a step back and evaluate your own needs. I know of friends who "lose" themselves in a relationship, and it takes a breakup to allow them the chance to see the identity that they have lost. Or maybe you just needed the rest. Personally, my loneliness has taught me about self resilience and self sufficiency. It made me realized the goodness that I have thrown away in the past and going forward this would be beneficial to ensure I am more appreciative of the people that are to come into my life. And if God's will is for me to be alone, then Thy will be done. The more you fight it, the more you will drown, riiiiiigghhhhttt?? :)
Finally thank you MC for your entertaining news today. FYI, MC called me so very excitedly to tell me he saw my ex holding the hands of another woman. Now, that would not have been the most happening news to me, BUT MC did comment I was 100 times better looking! yahoo!! Yipee!! OK OK, I exaggerated. He said only 10 times :-p AND YES, I know love is not about looks, and he probably dumped me coz he couldn't stand my damn demanding and hard headed personality, BUT I'm still smiling ears to ears. It's good to be a bitch for once :DTo my ex, I wish you all happiness...really...sincerely from the very bottom of my heart. Without you, I would not have gone through the learning period of loneliness, and evolved a fitter and bitchier version. Arigato gozaimasu!!!
And to the rest, Happy Deepavali and Hari Raya and especially a great happy holidays to all Malaysians. I'm finally off to Bangkok!!! After 4 months of waiting, it's finally happening! Who says a single girl gotta be lonely *wink*
But anyway, of course I am lonely. It's definitely different having someone guaranteed to accompany you shopping or for dinner or to catch the latest movies. Heck, when I initially broke off with my ex, I was so lonely I almost went berserk trying to find things to keep myself busy. However, there is still hope. Get this tip firsthand from the expert - you'll get used to it *wink* It's an adventure of sorts too. Somehow lonely people get to discover other lonely people, and voila, you get a whole new bunch of friends.
Which brings me to an observation I made. Couples tend to hang on to a relationship no matter how boring, how empty it has gotten simply because they are afraid of being lonely once again. And I think that is sad. I'm not mocking these couples because I've been through it myself and know the fearfulness involved. But if you never throw away something old and useless, you can never discover something new and much more exciting. Right or not? Sure I might get lonely, and sure I fear living the rest of my life alone without a lifetime companion, but would you rather settle for someone than risk being lonely? Should we settle for someone simply because that person could provide you companionship? Why not a pet then?!? Pets will definitely give u less headaches and heartbreaks :p
Jokes aside, loneliness is really in the head. If you think you are lonely, then you will feel lonely. But if you seize the moment, then you can change that loneliness into fulfilling moments. Maybe God put those empty moments into your life to allow you to concentrate on other equally important things in your life. Maybe it's breathing space for you to take a step back and evaluate your own needs. I know of friends who "lose" themselves in a relationship, and it takes a breakup to allow them the chance to see the identity that they have lost. Or maybe you just needed the rest. Personally, my loneliness has taught me about self resilience and self sufficiency. It made me realized the goodness that I have thrown away in the past and going forward this would be beneficial to ensure I am more appreciative of the people that are to come into my life. And if God's will is for me to be alone, then Thy will be done. The more you fight it, the more you will drown, riiiiiigghhhhttt?? :)
Finally thank you MC for your entertaining news today. FYI, MC called me so very excitedly to tell me he saw my ex holding the hands of another woman. Now, that would not have been the most happening news to me, BUT MC did comment I was 100 times better looking! yahoo!! Yipee!! OK OK, I exaggerated. He said only 10 times :-p AND YES, I know love is not about looks, and he probably dumped me coz he couldn't stand my damn demanding and hard headed personality, BUT I'm still smiling ears to ears. It's good to be a bitch for once :DTo my ex, I wish you all happiness...really...sincerely from the very bottom of my heart. Without you, I would not have gone through the learning period of loneliness, and evolved a fitter and bitchier version. Arigato gozaimasu!!!
And to the rest, Happy Deepavali and Hari Raya and especially a great happy holidays to all Malaysians. I'm finally off to Bangkok!!! After 4 months of waiting, it's finally happening! Who says a single girl gotta be lonely *wink*
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
And times passes by..
As we go into the month of November, it suddenly dawned on me how fast time really flew by this year. Well in fact every year since hitting the age of 25 *duh* And like every other year, it's been pretty much an eventful year despite the fact I keep complaining about how boring life is :)
This year has been a pretty challenging year for me both at work and personally. In both aspects, I have grown to be more independent each day, and to be less bothered about people's attitude towards me. It's right to say one can never please everyone, but as long as I feel what I do is right and do it sincerely and honestly, then I only need to answer to myself and to God. It's amazing that sometimes with all our good intentions; we can still offend others and even step on some little toes on the way. But true friends and true professionals will take it all in their stride, and move ahead. It's a bit harder with mummy though, coz she expects me to bow and say sorry, and hold a tea cup at a level above my head :-p
This has also been a tumultuous year for many around the world. After barely surviving the fury of the tsunami last year, we now have earthquakes that strikes at the beginning of cold winter, and of course all those weird viruses that flies around with the birds. Not to forget we lost our most beloved First Lady Datin Endon L So do you not think it’s time u got down on your knees to thank God that despite how depressing and hopeless your life seems, well, at least you still got a life and you still have a nice warm bed to sleep in plus at least one person around you who cares for you? I surely will do that. Coz I even have my nice cute adorable doggy to sleep with for 2 nights recently J
So dear customers who drives me crazy with insane requests, dear friends who haunt me with weird questions and antics, dear bees who keep asking me why I don’t miss you and dear fans who encourages me to continue writing on this blog, it’s been great meeting each and every one of you. Sure there are days you make me want to jump down my 8th floor building or shout to the world how much I hate assholes, but heck, you sure made my life interesting and of course time flew by faster with you around. Not to mention my blood pressure increasing. Good mah, encourage blood circulation ;)
This year has been a pretty challenging year for me both at work and personally. In both aspects, I have grown to be more independent each day, and to be less bothered about people's attitude towards me. It's right to say one can never please everyone, but as long as I feel what I do is right and do it sincerely and honestly, then I only need to answer to myself and to God. It's amazing that sometimes with all our good intentions; we can still offend others and even step on some little toes on the way. But true friends and true professionals will take it all in their stride, and move ahead. It's a bit harder with mummy though, coz she expects me to bow and say sorry, and hold a tea cup at a level above my head :-p
This has also been a tumultuous year for many around the world. After barely surviving the fury of the tsunami last year, we now have earthquakes that strikes at the beginning of cold winter, and of course all those weird viruses that flies around with the birds. Not to forget we lost our most beloved First Lady Datin Endon L So do you not think it’s time u got down on your knees to thank God that despite how depressing and hopeless your life seems, well, at least you still got a life and you still have a nice warm bed to sleep in plus at least one person around you who cares for you? I surely will do that. Coz I even have my nice cute adorable doggy to sleep with for 2 nights recently J
So dear customers who drives me crazy with insane requests, dear friends who haunt me with weird questions and antics, dear bees who keep asking me why I don’t miss you and dear fans who encourages me to continue writing on this blog, it’s been great meeting each and every one of you. Sure there are days you make me want to jump down my 8th floor building or shout to the world how much I hate assholes, but heck, you sure made my life interesting and of course time flew by faster with you around. Not to mention my blood pressure increasing. Good mah, encourage blood circulation ;)
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Friends
Here we stand at a crossroad again, like u said, in times the seasons change…Looking back, we recall the blessing and the pain….but we turn our heart towards what is still to come, want to dream again….
That was a nice song that a good friend shared with me this morning. And it makes me think how important a friend really is in your life. Partners may come in and out of my life, but my friends always remain steadfast and strong. I can even say I am closer to my friends than I am to my real brother and sister. For me, my friends are my brothers and sisters. They are the ones I care for, and who cares for me.
During this moment in life when I am at a crossroad myself, and my heart is torn in dilemma, I am glad to know that I can still be thankful to God for He has blessed me with such an abundant of wonderful friends. Each of you is so special in your own ways, and each of you is a light of encouragement when life seems so mundane, and so hopeless. How could I possibly be sad when you bring laughter into my life? How could I possibly be lonely? I’m getting sentimental today – maybe some hormonal problem * as usual blame it on the hormones * But I just thought if I were to leave the world today, I wouldn’t want to leave it without telling you all that life has been a journey. It’s been a wonderful journey to share with all of you, and I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. I wouldn’t have wanted any other friends. Maybe some of you don’t party, but you are the ones who keep my feet on the ground. And maybe some of you party too much, but thank you for opening my eyes to the corrupted world. Thank you to those who listen to all my boyfriend problems, those who let me puke in their car when I got mind-exploding drunk, those who wipe my tears away when life was a dead-end, those who celebrated with me when life was good, those who listened to my nonsense and accepted it as true fact, but most of all, thank you for picking me up when I stumbled and fell. Without you all, my life would have been incomplete. YALAR, know that sounds like a line from ‘Secret Garden’ but it’s true mah!
God Bless you all, and may each and every one of you have loads and loads of friends who themselves are as good as you.
That was a nice song that a good friend shared with me this morning. And it makes me think how important a friend really is in your life. Partners may come in and out of my life, but my friends always remain steadfast and strong. I can even say I am closer to my friends than I am to my real brother and sister. For me, my friends are my brothers and sisters. They are the ones I care for, and who cares for me.
During this moment in life when I am at a crossroad myself, and my heart is torn in dilemma, I am glad to know that I can still be thankful to God for He has blessed me with such an abundant of wonderful friends. Each of you is so special in your own ways, and each of you is a light of encouragement when life seems so mundane, and so hopeless. How could I possibly be sad when you bring laughter into my life? How could I possibly be lonely? I’m getting sentimental today – maybe some hormonal problem * as usual blame it on the hormones * But I just thought if I were to leave the world today, I wouldn’t want to leave it without telling you all that life has been a journey. It’s been a wonderful journey to share with all of you, and I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. I wouldn’t have wanted any other friends. Maybe some of you don’t party, but you are the ones who keep my feet on the ground. And maybe some of you party too much, but thank you for opening my eyes to the corrupted world. Thank you to those who listen to all my boyfriend problems, those who let me puke in their car when I got mind-exploding drunk, those who wipe my tears away when life was a dead-end, those who celebrated with me when life was good, those who listened to my nonsense and accepted it as true fact, but most of all, thank you for picking me up when I stumbled and fell. Without you all, my life would have been incomplete. YALAR, know that sounds like a line from ‘Secret Garden’ but it’s true mah!
God Bless you all, and may each and every one of you have loads and loads of friends who themselves are as good as you.
Friday, October 14, 2005
What Is Love?
Let's talk about love today :)
Someone just told me he's getting married, and after he gets married, he does not want to talk to me anymore. I find that rather funny, because then does it means he sees me as a temptation, or a distraction. And if so, what is the point of his marriage?
Anyway, what exactly is love? Many times the words 'I love u' has been said to me, but so far I never felt that love lasting. So does that mean 'love' is only a temporary feeling? Ask anyone what is love, and you get a variety of ideas. Some say love happens when you can't get a person out of your head ie. that person is in ur mind the minute you wake up, and is the last person u think about as u drop to sleep. Others say love is true when you trust the other person with your life, and when you too are willing to sacrifice your life for the person you love. Or is love the feeling one has when you get weird funny happy feeling inside ur tummy when you meet someone? What about the fact that you feel like kissing someone or making love to someone - is that considered love too?
How do we differentiate love from lust, love from crush, and love from infatuation? The world has gotten so complicated that sometimes you can't even tell if your own family loves you, what more a total stranger? I used to think that if I love someone, I would think about him all the time, I would wanna see him all the time, I would not be able to lay my hands off that person. But that's not really true right? I too have told many guys I loved them, but do I really love them? Can't be right if I can live without them now. Heck, sometimes I don't even think about them anymore *ooppppsss*
So what is love lah?!! A book I read said that if you love someone then you must be willing to serve him. What does this mean? Well basically it means you must be willing to sacrifice your own happiness and comfort, willing to accept and forgive the person's wrongdoings and bad points, willing to stand by the person's through thick and thin, willing to die for him. And despite all those willingless, you are not to demand ANYTHING. If he/she becomes shitty to you, then you need to bow down and accept it, be patient and believe that he/she will change because of your great love. I think I would call that real extreme love. If that is love, then what is torture?!!
Ah, maybe that's why I've never been successful in love. Coz I demand too much. I expect to be the one to be served..haha. Well, I'm changing ok...God has not finished His work in me. I would like to have a love like that of my parents. After 20 over years of marriage, I would still want to look into the eyes of my man and see his love shinning through. I would like him to see me smile and tell me I am his sweetest angel on earth. Despite our white hair or baldness, we would still be holding hands when we go out together, and we would have no qualms about hugging and kissing each other in public. And most of all, I would love to be able to lie with him in bed and feel nothing but total happiness and security. And of course hope that I would die before he does!
Which reminds me, colleague of mine was talking about a man who visited his wife's gravestone everyday without fail to be with her. Do we call that love or madness? Is it not just a fine line between both? Why else they would call it 'madly in love' *wink*
So everyone, I wish u good luck in your quest to find true love. Whatever your idea of true love may be, remember it's a 2 way thing. Give and you shall receive. And don't forget to love God above all else, for God's love is eternal and ever forgiving.
Someone just told me he's getting married, and after he gets married, he does not want to talk to me anymore. I find that rather funny, because then does it means he sees me as a temptation, or a distraction. And if so, what is the point of his marriage?
Anyway, what exactly is love? Many times the words 'I love u' has been said to me, but so far I never felt that love lasting. So does that mean 'love' is only a temporary feeling? Ask anyone what is love, and you get a variety of ideas. Some say love happens when you can't get a person out of your head ie. that person is in ur mind the minute you wake up, and is the last person u think about as u drop to sleep. Others say love is true when you trust the other person with your life, and when you too are willing to sacrifice your life for the person you love. Or is love the feeling one has when you get weird funny happy feeling inside ur tummy when you meet someone? What about the fact that you feel like kissing someone or making love to someone - is that considered love too?
How do we differentiate love from lust, love from crush, and love from infatuation? The world has gotten so complicated that sometimes you can't even tell if your own family loves you, what more a total stranger? I used to think that if I love someone, I would think about him all the time, I would wanna see him all the time, I would not be able to lay my hands off that person. But that's not really true right? I too have told many guys I loved them, but do I really love them? Can't be right if I can live without them now. Heck, sometimes I don't even think about them anymore *ooppppsss*
So what is love lah?!! A book I read said that if you love someone then you must be willing to serve him. What does this mean? Well basically it means you must be willing to sacrifice your own happiness and comfort, willing to accept and forgive the person's wrongdoings and bad points, willing to stand by the person's through thick and thin, willing to die for him. And despite all those willingless, you are not to demand ANYTHING. If he/she becomes shitty to you, then you need to bow down and accept it, be patient and believe that he/she will change because of your great love. I think I would call that real extreme love. If that is love, then what is torture?!!
Ah, maybe that's why I've never been successful in love. Coz I demand too much. I expect to be the one to be served..haha. Well, I'm changing ok...God has not finished His work in me. I would like to have a love like that of my parents. After 20 over years of marriage, I would still want to look into the eyes of my man and see his love shinning through. I would like him to see me smile and tell me I am his sweetest angel on earth. Despite our white hair or baldness, we would still be holding hands when we go out together, and we would have no qualms about hugging and kissing each other in public. And most of all, I would love to be able to lie with him in bed and feel nothing but total happiness and security. And of course hope that I would die before he does!
Which reminds me, colleague of mine was talking about a man who visited his wife's gravestone everyday without fail to be with her. Do we call that love or madness? Is it not just a fine line between both? Why else they would call it 'madly in love' *wink*
So everyone, I wish u good luck in your quest to find true love. Whatever your idea of true love may be, remember it's a 2 way thing. Give and you shall receive. And don't forget to love God above all else, for God's love is eternal and ever forgiving.
Monday, October 10, 2005
Excitement
22 Days, 18 Hours more to what would be the most exciting holiday for me this year. Well I haven't had any holiday this year, have I? So considering that fact, Bangkok would be my most exciting holiday eventhough people keep asking me "why bangkok". I think for me, any place on a holiday will be a good place. Any place with good friends and fun company will be a good place :) Any place with great cheap shopping is DEFINITELY a great place.
So here I sit in my boring office cubicle enjoying my lunch break, thinking why is life so unexciting sometimes. And I came up with my list of 10 most exciting things that happened to me. I made sure too that this list had nothing to do with love or guys or guys-love or jerks-love or idiot bastard- love. Hehe...u get what I'm trying to get at soon :D
Here goes ...in no particular order :
1) Climbing up a water reservoir in Wangsa Maju in the middle of the night. When u get right up to there, you can hear the water gushing really loudly below, and you can feel the wind swirling around you. Imagine loud water sound, wind howling, pitch darkness and a hole you can drop through into the water. Errm, definitely not something I would wanna be doing now at my old age!!!
2) Waiting in line outside Sunway Lagoon for Malaysia's first bungee Jumping. Can't even recall the time, but it was definitely at some odd early morning hour..maybe 12am we queued till 5 or 6 am. Only to be told it's been cancelled!!! Bugger, ok it wasn't exciting, but the thought of doing bungee jumping was exciting, and it was good fun just lining up with my bunch of friends.
3) Running around the mountain and valley of Gotthard Pass in Switzerland/Italy with Paul and Soon Peng. Gosh I never felt such peacefulness and joy! It was just like being in a scene of Sound of Music. The excitement was seeing all those big bikers racing down the mountains, and just sitting on the grass munching on our apples, and having some kungfu fight with Paul.Darn, I miss it *sob*
4) Going cave crawling in the Dark Cave in Batu Caves. Wooa man, it was darn exciting being surrounded by a wall of cave cockroaches. I could have swore my legs were like jelly as I walked through that section. Even more exciting was crawling on my tummy through a really small hole in the cave, and my body all engulfed in wet guano. Eeww..natural facial. Smelt good too :-p
*warning: do not attempt if waist diameter above 30 cm *
5) Riding on a bike all the way from Setapak to a disco in Sunway called HEAVEN. I never been allowed to ride a bike, and man, riding on one for such a long distance was just too much. By the time I reach there I was shivering cold, and my bum just totally numb! And then my friends tried to revive me by feeding me something called 'Flaming Lamborgini'. Heck, nothing flaming about it except for the smoke coming out of my ears after that :D
6) Entering an Orang utan sanctuary in Kota Kinabalu. Those creatures must be the cutest most adorable animals ever, and they are sooooo human-like. But I had this bad memory of reading about how an Orang Utan raped a woman, and got her pregnant. So naturally I was a bit jumpy when I came across some of those "manly" looking orang-utans...keke..But honestly, I do think they are cuter than some men we see in town :-p
7) Being "flased" by a pervert while walking back from primary school. U know u always hear about flashers, but u never expect to see one. And this bugger was hiding behind some banana trees. And the most idiotic thing of all was the fact I was only probably about 8 or 9 years old, and being innoccent little angel, I had no idea what a "bird" was. Now I whack myself for not having gone closer to check out what it actually looked like. Hohoho..hahaha...must have been too small till it did not stick in my memory at all! Pooooooooor little guy..
8) Working in a liquor warehouse while awaiting for my SPM results. I was a data entry clerk in the warehouse, but it was a pretty small warehouse and all of us got on really well and had loads of fun. First time I got to ride around on a forklift, or do stock counting. So it seems my interest in logistic started when I was young, so no wonder I grew up now to become one of the most successful logistic consultant in Malaysia, and some say Singapore. **OK, let me blow trumpet a bit can or not!!** Anyway what was so exciting about this warehouse was the fact it was filled with alcohol and I learnt all about my alcohol and liquor and Malaysian Duty Not Paid from there :D
9) Discovering an ancient dinousaur footprint in Korea. Ok it just looked like some hole in the rock, but I finally believed it was the curse of the dinosaur when I stepped into on of those "footprints" and slipped and fell tumbling into the cold river. Got my shin hurt and bleeding, and then I could declare I had a dinosaur "footprint" on my shin.
10) Doing a tarzan act with my bro and cousins in our old house. Our house used to be higher than our neighbours, and so happened the fence was kinda drooping down into their compound. Our neighbour had some coconut trees planted just next to our compound, and we just loveeeed hanging onto these leaves, and swinging ourselves into their compound. But finally had to stop that when one day I landed on the fence instead of the ground. Ouch...stupid fence poked into my beautiful smooth backside and I landed up getting a jab, and nice LONG LONG scolding from my folks. Hey, I am TARZAN ok..I'm supposed to be able to pass that darn fence!
Ok...took me longer than i thought I would need...now was pass my working time. Boss, I'm sorry. I will work extra hard, and put in 2 more hours OT today. Cheers :D
So here I sit in my boring office cubicle enjoying my lunch break, thinking why is life so unexciting sometimes. And I came up with my list of 10 most exciting things that happened to me. I made sure too that this list had nothing to do with love or guys or guys-love or jerks-love or idiot bastard- love. Hehe...u get what I'm trying to get at soon :D
Here goes ...in no particular order :
1) Climbing up a water reservoir in Wangsa Maju in the middle of the night. When u get right up to there, you can hear the water gushing really loudly below, and you can feel the wind swirling around you. Imagine loud water sound, wind howling, pitch darkness and a hole you can drop through into the water. Errm, definitely not something I would wanna be doing now at my old age!!!
2) Waiting in line outside Sunway Lagoon for Malaysia's first bungee Jumping. Can't even recall the time, but it was definitely at some odd early morning hour..maybe 12am we queued till 5 or 6 am. Only to be told it's been cancelled!!! Bugger, ok it wasn't exciting, but the thought of doing bungee jumping was exciting, and it was good fun just lining up with my bunch of friends.
3) Running around the mountain and valley of Gotthard Pass in Switzerland/Italy with Paul and Soon Peng. Gosh I never felt such peacefulness and joy! It was just like being in a scene of Sound of Music. The excitement was seeing all those big bikers racing down the mountains, and just sitting on the grass munching on our apples, and having some kungfu fight with Paul.Darn, I miss it *sob*
4) Going cave crawling in the Dark Cave in Batu Caves. Wooa man, it was darn exciting being surrounded by a wall of cave cockroaches. I could have swore my legs were like jelly as I walked through that section. Even more exciting was crawling on my tummy through a really small hole in the cave, and my body all engulfed in wet guano. Eeww..natural facial. Smelt good too :-p
*warning: do not attempt if waist diameter above 30 cm *
5) Riding on a bike all the way from Setapak to a disco in Sunway called HEAVEN. I never been allowed to ride a bike, and man, riding on one for such a long distance was just too much. By the time I reach there I was shivering cold, and my bum just totally numb! And then my friends tried to revive me by feeding me something called 'Flaming Lamborgini'. Heck, nothing flaming about it except for the smoke coming out of my ears after that :D
6) Entering an Orang utan sanctuary in Kota Kinabalu. Those creatures must be the cutest most adorable animals ever, and they are sooooo human-like. But I had this bad memory of reading about how an Orang Utan raped a woman, and got her pregnant. So naturally I was a bit jumpy when I came across some of those "manly" looking orang-utans...keke..But honestly, I do think they are cuter than some men we see in town :-p
7) Being "flased" by a pervert while walking back from primary school. U know u always hear about flashers, but u never expect to see one. And this bugger was hiding behind some banana trees. And the most idiotic thing of all was the fact I was only probably about 8 or 9 years old, and being innoccent little angel, I had no idea what a "bird" was. Now I whack myself for not having gone closer to check out what it actually looked like. Hohoho..hahaha...must have been too small till it did not stick in my memory at all! Pooooooooor little guy..
8) Working in a liquor warehouse while awaiting for my SPM results. I was a data entry clerk in the warehouse, but it was a pretty small warehouse and all of us got on really well and had loads of fun. First time I got to ride around on a forklift, or do stock counting. So it seems my interest in logistic started when I was young, so no wonder I grew up now to become one of the most successful logistic consultant in Malaysia, and some say Singapore. **OK, let me blow trumpet a bit can or not!!** Anyway what was so exciting about this warehouse was the fact it was filled with alcohol and I learnt all about my alcohol and liquor and Malaysian Duty Not Paid from there :D
9) Discovering an ancient dinousaur footprint in Korea. Ok it just looked like some hole in the rock, but I finally believed it was the curse of the dinosaur when I stepped into on of those "footprints" and slipped and fell tumbling into the cold river. Got my shin hurt and bleeding, and then I could declare I had a dinosaur "footprint" on my shin.
10) Doing a tarzan act with my bro and cousins in our old house. Our house used to be higher than our neighbours, and so happened the fence was kinda drooping down into their compound. Our neighbour had some coconut trees planted just next to our compound, and we just loveeeed hanging onto these leaves, and swinging ourselves into their compound. But finally had to stop that when one day I landed on the fence instead of the ground. Ouch...stupid fence poked into my beautiful smooth backside and I landed up getting a jab, and nice LONG LONG scolding from my folks. Hey, I am TARZAN ok..I'm supposed to be able to pass that darn fence!
Ok...took me longer than i thought I would need...now was pass my working time. Boss, I'm sorry. I will work extra hard, and put in 2 more hours OT today. Cheers :D
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Who are we to Judge?
For those of you who read The Star newspaper, I think you would not have missed the photo
of this pretty lady called Jessie Chung. What was so special about Jessie Chung was the fact that she was once Jeffrey Chung. Yeap..she's one of Paul's favourite ladyboy. Well now she's every bit a lady except for the adam's apple on her throat, and she's even a regular church worker. Now this started a sort of discussion between me and LL. LL is of the opinion that whether or not Jessie is doing good charitable work in helping the public, yet the fact she had a sex change is still WRONG. If God meant for her to be a girl, He would have made her a girl. It is not up to her to take matters into her own hands and change herself from a man into a woman.
I agree with that to some degree. I think we should all be satisfied with what God bestowed upon us, and not be thinking of ways and means to become something else. However, I also believe it is unfair for us to judge someone based on what we know teoritically. Sure we know it's wrong to change your sex, but do we really know how it feels to be having the body of a man, and yet everything else about you feels like a woman? Do we actually even come close to feeling the confusion and mental aguish these kind of people would probably feel during their years of discovering their true self?
It's very easy for us to judge others, but it will never be easy for us to be judge by others. Probably everyone of us hides something about ourselves from people around us for fear of being judge. I greatly feel that one should not, and do not have the right to judge another if you yourself has not been through the same situation that the person goes through. It's easy for us to be disgusted by a girl who aborts her baby, but would we have done the same if we were that girl with NIL future, runaway boyfriend whom she thought loved her and parents who would disown her? What about the bank robber whom we all call the scumbag of society? Would you not have also desperately taken the same path if that was your only way of gaining enough money to save someone you love? And the poor girl whom we call a slut simply because she fell in love with someone else's husband. Do you think any girl would actually want to be 2nd place - sharing the heart of a man with another and constantly waiting to have her stolen moments together? And I'm sure most of us have judge our friend's relationships at one point in time. We can say "hey u stupid girl, don't u see the guy's a jerk. Why can't u just dump him?". Yeah right, easier said than done. As a person who has been with a jerk, I can personally say when u're in love, the jerk looks
and feels like a prince. It's just not that easy to say to yourself HE SUCKS! HOW can we judge someone if we have never been in their shoes and experienced their wrongdoing? HOW can we judge someone if we have not been through the same situation and walked away doing the RIGHT thing?
It's true things are either Right or Wrong, and there is never an in-between. On the other hand, a decision can never be a right or wrong.We can never do something that will pleases everyone. I think the piece of advice from my good friend CKL is true. (Btw, CKL just told me he came back from the brink of death due to some tubing accident in Danum Valley). CKL said that whatever decision one makes, just be sure it makes you happy and that it harms no other person. Life is short indeed. Don't waste your time judging others, but rather start by looking at yourself.
COP really needs a break from life....I'm addicted to my blog !! Heck that is sick!Wednesday, September 28, 2005
In the hands of Temptation
Psalm 139 in the Bible goes something like this :
O lord, thou hast searched me, and known me. Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off. Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways. For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O LORD, thou knowest it altogether. Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it. Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence? If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.
In this modern day and time, many temptations lay ahead of us as an individual. And it takes a really strong soul to resist them all. We can run and we can hide from everyone, but at the end of the day, we cannot escape ourselves. And surely we cannot escape from God's judgement.
I have trouble sleeping for the past few days. Something bothers me very much, because I'm usually someone who can sleep really well and won't even awake if there was a bomb explosion next door. Suddenly I have done something that is against my own principles, and yet I did it. Why? Because it was a temptation. But my Father has put a heavy burden unto my heart. He wants me to acknowledge my mistake and fix it. I don't like rolling around my bed seeking for an answer, or a fix. I don't like denying what I should and have to do, but heck it's really so much easier to turn a blind eye and continue to do what is not right.
I do not have the strength. I do not have the heart. I can only pray for the strength of God to help me out. It's hard to do something right, and even harder to let go of something that is so right :(
Why is life like such a rollercoaster??!! And why are there so many idiotic leeches in this human land. And why do people get defensive when they are in the wrong?!! Why do they shoot at everyone who's innoccently trying to give them a solution? Why are humans so bloody inconsiderate and self-centred? But who am I to ask when I am the one who fell into temptation? !! AAAARRGHHHHHHH...........
O lord, thou hast searched me, and known me. Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off. Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways. For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O LORD, thou knowest it altogether. Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it. Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence? If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.
In this modern day and time, many temptations lay ahead of us as an individual. And it takes a really strong soul to resist them all. We can run and we can hide from everyone, but at the end of the day, we cannot escape ourselves. And surely we cannot escape from God's judgement.
I have trouble sleeping for the past few days. Something bothers me very much, because I'm usually someone who can sleep really well and won't even awake if there was a bomb explosion next door. Suddenly I have done something that is against my own principles, and yet I did it. Why? Because it was a temptation. But my Father has put a heavy burden unto my heart. He wants me to acknowledge my mistake and fix it. I don't like rolling around my bed seeking for an answer, or a fix. I don't like denying what I should and have to do, but heck it's really so much easier to turn a blind eye and continue to do what is not right.
I do not have the strength. I do not have the heart. I can only pray for the strength of God to help me out. It's hard to do something right, and even harder to let go of something that is so right :(
Why is life like such a rollercoaster??!! And why are there so many idiotic leeches in this human land. And why do people get defensive when they are in the wrong?!! Why do they shoot at everyone who's innoccently trying to give them a solution? Why are humans so bloody inconsiderate and self-centred? But who am I to ask when I am the one who fell into temptation? !! AAAARRGHHHHHHH...........
Monday, September 26, 2005
Why I vote for Daniel
Enough of people questioning me on this and insinuating I am racist/ lala-mui/ boy band lover. First of all, I am NOT a racist person. I do not like a person simply based on the color of the skin. O yeah, we're talking about Malaysian idol here. Our Malaysian idol had a Malay girl, Nita competing against a chinese guy, Daniel.
Daniel was the underdog. Here was an amateur guy pitting against a club singer with 8 years of experience backing her. Sure her voice was great, and she was at her best on the finale night. But I still prefer Daniel. Daniel is the one with potential!!! One should see the diamond within the dirty carbon. Here is a guy who grew day by day with his talents. And heck, if 68% of voters thought he was worth it, he should have SOMETHING right. Anyway, an idol is the whole package. Not just the voice. An idol is someone who can appeal to a wide mass of people. And he did just that. Cheeky, humble, talented, and determined. That's my idol, and he's only proven my votes weren't wasted on him. AND NO, he is not handsome. He's cute - in a cheeky boyish way :)
Heck, mummies and little girls like him enough to vote...now that's what a real IDOL should be like - one your mummy approve of.
Daniel was the underdog. Here was an amateur guy pitting against a club singer with 8 years of experience backing her. Sure her voice was great, and she was at her best on the finale night. But I still prefer Daniel. Daniel is the one with potential!!! One should see the diamond within the dirty carbon. Here is a guy who grew day by day with his talents. And heck, if 68% of voters thought he was worth it, he should have SOMETHING right. Anyway, an idol is the whole package. Not just the voice. An idol is someone who can appeal to a wide mass of people. And he did just that. Cheeky, humble, talented, and determined. That's my idol, and he's only proven my votes weren't wasted on him. AND NO, he is not handsome. He's cute - in a cheeky boyish way :)
Heck, mummies and little girls like him enough to vote...now that's what a real IDOL should be like - one your mummy approve of.
Thursday, September 22, 2005
Greatest Present On Earth
Do u know what is the best present you could ever give someone you love? I think a lot of us are always stuck what to get our partners during special occasions, and we go all out to buy jewelleries and electronic gadgets to win the heart of the one we love. Well I found the answer written in a book and the best gift is....*drum rolls*...TIME.
The famous saying goes that time is money, so that further means that the more time you give to your love one, the more "expensive" your present is to them. Probably some people might beg to differ coz for them spending too much time with the partner is like being in a torture chamber or prison :-P Hmm, in that case they might actually need to rethink if they should even be with that person.
For me I think every second on earth spent with the one you love is a time well spent and to be cherished. Most of us always get so distracted by things in life like work and play and TV that we tend to take it for granted that our love ones will be there waiting for you the whole of your life. Sometimes it takes a separation, or worse, a tragedy to make you realise the amount of time you have wasted on things that actually doesn't matter in life. Do you think you'll be thinking about that report you have to hand in to the boss during your last seconds alive? Or would it matter if 'Malaysian Idol' finale would be coming on a few minutes after your death? No, probably the last thing that will flash before you as you lay dying are the ones that you love and would leave behind.
I can say that I learnt from experience about lost time. I lost my daddy before I realised he was old and he enjoyed me spending time with him. I used to think I had so much time to spend with him that I could always do it the next day, or the next week, or maybe even next year. Yeah, I'll bring mum and dad on a holiday next month....or maybe treat dad to a nice dinner next week. Well there is no tomorrow when death comes knocking on the door. There is only but regret. Regret that I could not have fulfilled my dreams to be a superb daughter who brightened the final days of my dad's life. But what God takes, He giveth. And in this he gave me a lesson to learn, and the lesson is don't take for granted the ones that you love.
It's not only about old parents, but it's also about your partners and even your pets. O my poor Bunny who's gone MIA, I wished I had given you a proper grooming and a loving kiss before you left me. I curse anybody who so much have skin you to throw into a cooking pot. %$$@%@!#@#%. ASSHOLES!!
Anyway remember it doesn't take that much time or effort to make someone/something you love happy. Sometimes all your gf wants is a listening ear and not a wall to talk to. And your bf probably want you to spend some time looking at him rather than staring at the TV. Or the wife just want a little holiday break from her hectic housework and spend it romantically with you. And of course the dog would be overjoyed if you sat her down and let her lick your face with love :)
This article is dedicated to the memories of my beloved and best in the world DAD, and also to my most patient and faithful old dog, Ms.Bunny.....may both your souls rest in peace.
The famous saying goes that time is money, so that further means that the more time you give to your love one, the more "expensive" your present is to them. Probably some people might beg to differ coz for them spending too much time with the partner is like being in a torture chamber or prison :-P Hmm, in that case they might actually need to rethink if they should even be with that person.
For me I think every second on earth spent with the one you love is a time well spent and to be cherished. Most of us always get so distracted by things in life like work and play and TV that we tend to take it for granted that our love ones will be there waiting for you the whole of your life. Sometimes it takes a separation, or worse, a tragedy to make you realise the amount of time you have wasted on things that actually doesn't matter in life. Do you think you'll be thinking about that report you have to hand in to the boss during your last seconds alive? Or would it matter if 'Malaysian Idol' finale would be coming on a few minutes after your death? No, probably the last thing that will flash before you as you lay dying are the ones that you love and would leave behind.
I can say that I learnt from experience about lost time. I lost my daddy before I realised he was old and he enjoyed me spending time with him. I used to think I had so much time to spend with him that I could always do it the next day, or the next week, or maybe even next year. Yeah, I'll bring mum and dad on a holiday next month....or maybe treat dad to a nice dinner next week. Well there is no tomorrow when death comes knocking on the door. There is only but regret. Regret that I could not have fulfilled my dreams to be a superb daughter who brightened the final days of my dad's life. But what God takes, He giveth. And in this he gave me a lesson to learn, and the lesson is don't take for granted the ones that you love.
It's not only about old parents, but it's also about your partners and even your pets. O my poor Bunny who's gone MIA, I wished I had given you a proper grooming and a loving kiss before you left me. I curse anybody who so much have skin you to throw into a cooking pot. %$$@%@!#@#%. ASSHOLES!!
Anyway remember it doesn't take that much time or effort to make someone/something you love happy. Sometimes all your gf wants is a listening ear and not a wall to talk to. And your bf probably want you to spend some time looking at him rather than staring at the TV. Or the wife just want a little holiday break from her hectic housework and spend it romantically with you. And of course the dog would be overjoyed if you sat her down and let her lick your face with love :)
This article is dedicated to the memories of my beloved and best in the world DAD, and also to my most patient and faithful old dog, Ms.Bunny.....may both your souls rest in peace.
Friday, September 16, 2005
Office - Work or Play?
Recently heard about a very interesting scandal that happened right here in Malaysia involving 3 employees of a big multinational company located in KL. The rumours floating around seems to suggest that these 3 "close" colleague consisted of 2 guys and a gal, and somehow one was err..shagging the other, and the other was also bunking the 3rd one. But things got out of hands when a 4th party got jealous of the cosy relationships and made a big commotion, hence attracting the attention of the management. The ending of story...u guess.
Anyway, me being in such a small, empty office seems to have kinda lost touch with the outer world. I never knew office relationships have gotten so complex :) Makes me tempted to go join bigger organisations. Haha. Ok joke aside. What has become of society today? Have we all become so low in moral that we forget our responsibilities to our work and to our partners just for the sake of a few lustful illicit sex? And why is sex so overrated that people can do all sort of nonsense just to satisfy themselves? Before anyone start calling me a prick or a virgin mary, u better watch ur mouth coz I smack real hard!
First and foremost, an attached person should NEVER look around. Keep ur eyes focus on yourself, your partner and your family. Leave the fishes in the sea to the other poor fishermen/woman who have not managed to get any.
Second, one should always avoid an office affair. It's like opening up a can of worms. How exactly does one not mix personal with work when you are sleeping together? And what happens when the relationship turns sour? Are we opening ourselves to sexual harassment charges? FYI, it's not right to tell a colleague his bum looks tight even if it does. It's not right to tell a colleague she looks delicious enough to lick. And it's definitely not right to be telling her that you have a bird that's free and it's surrounded by balls. Ahemm....potato man?! U get my hint?
Third, if you do have an affair with a colleague, for goodness sake, don't do your dirty business where you both work! But I guess that adds to the excitement of those stolen kisses, and flirty touches. The unforbidden fruit always taste the sweetest right? But don't be stupid lar! Risking a career for a man or woman. Too high a sacrifice.
Lastly, if you must have an affair in the office, make sure it's with someone who can pull u up the corporate ladder. Now that's a smart affair. Hahahaha. At least worth the risk RIGHT?! But I am in no way encouraging this action. But may I add, better still if that person is famous so you can even blackmail him. Err..was I the one asking what happen to moral of society today? **head bang**
Anyway, just be smart. Don't do it until the whole world knows about it and even write about it their blog :-P
Anyway, me being in such a small, empty office seems to have kinda lost touch with the outer world. I never knew office relationships have gotten so complex :) Makes me tempted to go join bigger organisations. Haha. Ok joke aside. What has become of society today? Have we all become so low in moral that we forget our responsibilities to our work and to our partners just for the sake of a few lustful illicit sex? And why is sex so overrated that people can do all sort of nonsense just to satisfy themselves? Before anyone start calling me a prick or a virgin mary, u better watch ur mouth coz I smack real hard!
First and foremost, an attached person should NEVER look around. Keep ur eyes focus on yourself, your partner and your family. Leave the fishes in the sea to the other poor fishermen/woman who have not managed to get any.
Second, one should always avoid an office affair. It's like opening up a can of worms. How exactly does one not mix personal with work when you are sleeping together? And what happens when the relationship turns sour? Are we opening ourselves to sexual harassment charges? FYI, it's not right to tell a colleague his bum looks tight even if it does. It's not right to tell a colleague she looks delicious enough to lick. And it's definitely not right to be telling her that you have a bird that's free and it's surrounded by balls. Ahemm....potato man?! U get my hint?
Third, if you do have an affair with a colleague, for goodness sake, don't do your dirty business where you both work! But I guess that adds to the excitement of those stolen kisses, and flirty touches. The unforbidden fruit always taste the sweetest right? But don't be stupid lar! Risking a career for a man or woman. Too high a sacrifice.
Lastly, if you must have an affair in the office, make sure it's with someone who can pull u up the corporate ladder. Now that's a smart affair. Hahahaha. At least worth the risk RIGHT?! But I am in no way encouraging this action. But may I add, better still if that person is famous so you can even blackmail him. Err..was I the one asking what happen to moral of society today? **head bang**
Anyway, just be smart. Don't do it until the whole world knows about it and even write about it their blog :-P
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Drink, Drank, Drunk (Parental Guidance Required)
Drinking is bad for health. No, got to be more specific. Drinking ALCOHOL is bad for the health. Just like smoke, sex and gambling, it is one of the vices and great sin of life. It promotes promiscuity, abuses, murder, gang fights, breaks up marriages and families. So if money is root of all evil, then drinking is root of all violence.I should know, coz I am a victim of such violence.
It started out when a bunch of us met up for a "small" drinking session, and ended up it was quite a "medium" drinking session. Everyone was happy but blurr, and that was when I made my mistake. Getting into a car/jeep/lorry/whatever that is too high while wearing a short skirt is mistake #1. Mistake #2 was trusting that the driver was concious and sane when he obviously couldn't walk in a straight line. Not wearing a seat belt is Mistake #3. Mistake #4 was being high and blurr AND not wearing a selt belt!! Next thing I knew, my head was knocking against the window (and I have a bruise on my forehead to attest to that) and then my head was on some girl's lap. Mistake #5 was of course trying to grab the girl to steady myself, coz then I was accused of becoming LES.Aarghhh.... The evils of alcohol!!! But heck that was fun :D
So I've gotten tired of reading about the perils of alcohol and decided that I should instead find some goodness out of the alcohol. Here's a list of good reasons to drink and drink and drink :
1) Drinking may be bad for the health, but it's certainly good for the soul. Drinking too much makes u happy...well for that moment. Suddenly the world is such a jolly fun place to be in, and everyone becomes your best friend...for a girl, that would means plenty of guys suddenly wanna be ur good friend too :-p
2) And for ladies, after drinking a few rounds and ur eyes start to blurr a bit, you will find more handsome guys around u. I noticed that KL Clubbing scene doesn't have much leng chai, but when u become drunk and your eyesight fails u, u'll suddenly see lots of hunks with killer looks. Ah...to be cheated this way I admit is really cheating yourself.
3) Alcohol especially beer promotes a good circulation of blood and water in the body. Ever notice how ur heart pumps ever so fast to send those blood rushing to your head and trying to keep you awake? And notice too how often you need to go to the loo after a few shots of alcohol? Constant walks to the Loo is a good form of exercise :)
4) With the onset of drunkeness, your body also starts to lose its sense of smell. And that is really good when you need to go to the loo so often. No more stinky toilets :)
5) Alcohol in the blood also makes one a good hot dancer. Thought u didn't have the moves? Well, when u're drunk, u think no one dances as hot as u. And sometimes u might even need to be restraint from jumping up the bar to show off your "cool" moves.
6) A high enough amount of alcohol in the bloodstream is a good form of "detoxification"? Don't believe? Try it next time. Drink urself insane and wait for the moment we drinkers dread. That's the moment when the body rejects all rubbish in the system, and u start to throw up. Usually u'll be throwing up by the roadside in front of Teow Chow porridge (fav. throwing up place of a certain missy screaming "I want my hubby"), in front of Kim Gary (ahem..ahem..mr.cf good memories??), in some good samaritan's car (*guilty*) or the worst ..with the head hanging in the toilet bowl. Whatever favourite position it is, the end of that process guarantees total cleanout of the body system, and possibly a shirt dripping with disgusting puke.
Wow, I did not know the list could grow this long. Now I know why I just love my alcohol. But everyone, remember...you always have to bear the consequences of your actions. Being drunk may be fun, but only for the moment while it last. The after effects are usually not worth it at all. No one likes a hangover. I should know. I've been asleep dead on my bed most of today. What a waste of good fruitful time!!
COP tells u to say NO to alcohol.....unless you're out to have some mighty good crazy fun *wink*
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
All is not lost when you lost love
About 9 months ago, I met and fell in love with a man. From the onset of the relationship, I felt he was the ONE. Unlike my past boyfriends, from the beginning I already knew that this was the man I wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life with. His smile could brighten up my moodiest days. His care could warm the coldest heart. His touch could send warm waves through my body. His thoughtfulness could win even my mother's heart. He was a man who was everything to me, and he would have been the man I'd been willing to lay my life down for. For him I was
submissive, for him I was obedient, for him I would have foregone everything - but my self-worth. For nothing is perfect in this world, and in every perfect man there is a flaw. And this was the flaw that tore the relationship apart.
He cried the day he told me we needed to break off. And I cried endless buckets of tears upon hearing the news. I always thought that love could overcome all problems and all issues, but who was I kidding? My heart shattered to pieces. I was overseas then, and being away alone in a faraway lonely land, I felt I had no reason more to live. My days just went by like a drama. I was the lead actress pretending to be a happy kid. But inside, all I felt was pain and sorrow and disbelieve. How could this happen to me....yeah exactly like the song Simple Plan sang.
Days became weeks, and weeks became months. Finally i return to meet him once again. To close a happy/sad chapter in my life. Was ironic that my first meeting with him would be with him lying in a hospital bed. I shoke with nervousness when I saw him, and my heart beat so fast I thought I could almost faint. I wanted so much to hold him in my arms and tell him I still love him so much. But my hurt held that back. Here was a man I wanted to hate, and I really should hate. But all I could feel was sorrow for losing him. How could something so good turn so rotten? How could love become heartache? How could he tell me how crazy he is about me one day, and then tell me he needs to stop loving me the next?
And that would always be a part of life mystery. I'm writing about this not to bring bad bad memories for myself, but I'm doing this because I want to share my experience with a close personal friend of mine who reads this blog. You know who you are, and I want to tell you that not everything is lost when you lose Love. The day I heard those words of "Let's break up" on the telephone, I thought I never wanted to see tomorrow. The days I went thru in pain and suffering, I thought life was just empty without him. The day I met up with him, I thought why can't he just say he love me once again. BUT TODAY, I survived and I live on.
I can be honest and let you know I still cry when I think of him. I cry because I am sad. I am sad because I feel so much waste that he failed the relationship before he even tried to make it work. I am sad because he did not know how to value the 100% love I had for him. But this does not mean I am not happy in life. Today I have grown one level more matured. I know that time heals all wounds, and indeed it can heal even the most broken heart. It is true that loving someone doesn't mean that someone has got to be by your side. Loving someone means letting them go if that is what will make them happier. What is more important is to love yourself. Your life does not revolve around one person, and that one person is definitely not thinking about you either. Life is but a short moment, and we need to spend our time on earth in a wise manner. Do not waste your time and energy on someone who doesn't think twice when hurting you, and gives you empty promises about life. Trust your inner instinct and never follow your heart. The heart always lie, but the brains is the smart one. If your brain can tell you that someone is not right for you, listen to it. I know it's really hard to let someone you love go. But believe me, there is a life after a broken heart. We should only build our life with someone who appreciate us, and not someone who takes us for granted.
Do not give up on love though it may have hurt you. Believe that God has someone more special prepared for you. And all these hurt are just preparation in life so that you would come to appreciate and cherish the one chosen for you. Give life a chance, and you'll find it's not really all that bad. Hey, being single is fun too :) Like the saying goes - it is better to be alone, than to be with someone who's not right for you. Cry if you must, but when the tears has dried up, that's the time to party !!! Cheer up friend :D
And lastly, thanks to all my wonderful friends who supported me in my times of depression. Without you, life would indeed have been meaningless.
submissive, for him I was obedient, for him I would have foregone everything - but my self-worth. For nothing is perfect in this world, and in every perfect man there is a flaw. And this was the flaw that tore the relationship apart.
He cried the day he told me we needed to break off. And I cried endless buckets of tears upon hearing the news. I always thought that love could overcome all problems and all issues, but who was I kidding? My heart shattered to pieces. I was overseas then, and being away alone in a faraway lonely land, I felt I had no reason more to live. My days just went by like a drama. I was the lead actress pretending to be a happy kid. But inside, all I felt was pain and sorrow and disbelieve. How could this happen to me....yeah exactly like the song Simple Plan sang.
Days became weeks, and weeks became months. Finally i return to meet him once again. To close a happy/sad chapter in my life. Was ironic that my first meeting with him would be with him lying in a hospital bed. I shoke with nervousness when I saw him, and my heart beat so fast I thought I could almost faint. I wanted so much to hold him in my arms and tell him I still love him so much. But my hurt held that back. Here was a man I wanted to hate, and I really should hate. But all I could feel was sorrow for losing him. How could something so good turn so rotten? How could love become heartache? How could he tell me how crazy he is about me one day, and then tell me he needs to stop loving me the next?
And that would always be a part of life mystery. I'm writing about this not to bring bad bad memories for myself, but I'm doing this because I want to share my experience with a close personal friend of mine who reads this blog. You know who you are, and I want to tell you that not everything is lost when you lose Love. The day I heard those words of "Let's break up" on the telephone, I thought I never wanted to see tomorrow. The days I went thru in pain and suffering, I thought life was just empty without him. The day I met up with him, I thought why can't he just say he love me once again. BUT TODAY, I survived and I live on.
I can be honest and let you know I still cry when I think of him. I cry because I am sad. I am sad because I feel so much waste that he failed the relationship before he even tried to make it work. I am sad because he did not know how to value the 100% love I had for him. But this does not mean I am not happy in life. Today I have grown one level more matured. I know that time heals all wounds, and indeed it can heal even the most broken heart. It is true that loving someone doesn't mean that someone has got to be by your side. Loving someone means letting them go if that is what will make them happier. What is more important is to love yourself. Your life does not revolve around one person, and that one person is definitely not thinking about you either. Life is but a short moment, and we need to spend our time on earth in a wise manner. Do not waste your time and energy on someone who doesn't think twice when hurting you, and gives you empty promises about life. Trust your inner instinct and never follow your heart. The heart always lie, but the brains is the smart one. If your brain can tell you that someone is not right for you, listen to it. I know it's really hard to let someone you love go. But believe me, there is a life after a broken heart. We should only build our life with someone who appreciate us, and not someone who takes us for granted.
Do not give up on love though it may have hurt you. Believe that God has someone more special prepared for you. And all these hurt are just preparation in life so that you would come to appreciate and cherish the one chosen for you. Give life a chance, and you'll find it's not really all that bad. Hey, being single is fun too :) Like the saying goes - it is better to be alone, than to be with someone who's not right for you. Cry if you must, but when the tears has dried up, that's the time to party !!! Cheer up friend :D
And lastly, thanks to all my wonderful friends who supported me in my times of depression. Without you, life would indeed have been meaningless.
I hate Motorbikes
Motorbikes , motorbikes...why are they everywhere??!!!
Why did the road builders not build a separate lane for motorbikes??
Why do motorbikes have to weave in and out of traffic? Don't they know car drivers have blind spots and cannot see them all that easily?
I don't want to hate motorbikes, but they really irritate me a lot when I am driving. Why do they always think that we should be seeing them coming when we are changing lanes. It's enough I have to see the car in front of me, and the car besides me, and the car behind me, and the policeman hiding in the bushes, how many eyes must I have on my head to see that little Mat-biker coming on his Honda-kap. And it really pisses me when they give me the DEATH STARE just because I did not see them coming!!! What u think I purposely see you and stick my car out so I can kill you ah?!!! You think I want my car to be bang by your donkey bike? You think I like your blood splattered on my clean polished car?!!
I know not all motorcyclist are like this and it's not fair to generalise them all, and I apologise to those who drives nicely.
And COP continues to complain...endlessly about life...but but but I really don't like motorbikes.
Why did the road builders not build a separate lane for motorbikes??
Why do motorbikes have to weave in and out of traffic? Don't they know car drivers have blind spots and cannot see them all that easily?
I don't want to hate motorbikes, but they really irritate me a lot when I am driving. Why do they always think that we should be seeing them coming when we are changing lanes. It's enough I have to see the car in front of me, and the car besides me, and the car behind me, and the policeman hiding in the bushes, how many eyes must I have on my head to see that little Mat-biker coming on his Honda-kap. And it really pisses me when they give me the DEATH STARE just because I did not see them coming!!! What u think I purposely see you and stick my car out so I can kill you ah?!!! You think I want my car to be bang by your donkey bike? You think I like your blood splattered on my clean polished car?!!
I know not all motorcyclist are like this and it's not fair to generalise them all, and I apologise to those who drives nicely.
And COP continues to complain...endlessly about life...but but but I really don't like motorbikes.
Sunday, September 04, 2005
Mahjong, Money and Forgiving
I'm starting to worry a lot about myself. It seems like I am getting more abnormal lately. Maybe it's an age thing, or maybe it's stress at work, but something really not-quite-me is happening to me. First of all, I've started learning to play mahjong. Mahjong is supposed to be a game played during chinese new year, or by senior citizens daily when they have too much time on their hands. It's not CNY, and though I am old but I don't think I'm qualified to be a senior citizen, and neither do I have loads of time on my hand. But the opportunity came up for me to learn it from a mahjong sifu, and I thought why not. But heck I think I got to perfect my chinese 1st. Right now I still can't differentiate between the north, south , east , west in chinese!! And that seems to be such a major thing. And it takes me twice as long to figure out what number I am holding when it's written in chinese. And finally my brains just can't strategise fast enough to win a game. Geesh, now I really respect those aunties who can't even operate a computer, but can win rounds and rounds of mahjong!! I left my lesson feeling a little dejected because my failure in the game made me feel that I would be a failure to be a tai-tai in life *tears streaming down my face* O yeah, tai-tai means a rich lady of the house who has nothing better to do than look pretty, spend her husband's money and play mahjong whole day. If I can't be a tai-tai, that means I have to work my whole damn life! O jolly, o yippee *I am trying to sound real excited here!*
Based on what I've been writing so far, I think most people would think I'm a kinda materialistic girl. And I don't blame u guys if you thought so coz I myself thought I was...until recently. I always tell other girls, who cares if the guy loves u or not, if he's rich, just "trap" him. Since every guy is bound to be unfaithful, better to depend on the money than the person. Yeah right..was so convincing that I almost believed it myself! Alas, there are silly girls out there just like me who are sentimental fools. We go for guys who make us lovey dovey, and set our heart beating like there's no tomorrow. So I got asked out by 2 guys whom I am sure are good guys, and definitely guys who could make me a rich enough tai-tai..but darn, I rejected them and I am still whacking myself with a hammer for this! What in my freaking hormones have made me forgotten that MONEY is the all important thing in a man??!!! But heck, I really feel no Uummph for them. So I think I'm really going totally not myself anymore, and I seriously need some counselling.
So then God answered my prayer with a question that I actually asked in one of my earlier posting. Today my pastor spoke those scary words again. WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF LIFE? Aarrrgghhh.....when will we ever stop asking this question I wonder.Well I didn't get the answer from the pastor coz his voice was so soothing that I kinda started daydreaming. Daydreaming is good, coz in a way it's my method of communicating with God. Don't you doubt that because at the end of my daydream, I had another question. Yeah, God seems to like adding questions into my life. Maybe he knows I am bad in mahjong so he tries to "oil" my brains a bit and set the engine running. Anyway, the question is "How do u forgive?". I always thought forgiving was abt accepting a person's wrongdoing towards u. Pretty simple no? But now I know forgive and forget are not 2 words, they must actually come as one in order for true forgiveness to happen. What's the point of forgiving but not forgetting? Remembering something u've forgiven only serves to torture oneself, and end up u're stuck in a rut while the other party happily moves on without a thought for you. Sooo..what am I getting at??!! My brain engine is still trying to digest all this and make some sense out of it. Gulp~~ that's another weird thing. I'm getting slower with my brains!!
COP is just not COP anymore :(
Based on what I've been writing so far, I think most people would think I'm a kinda materialistic girl. And I don't blame u guys if you thought so coz I myself thought I was...until recently. I always tell other girls, who cares if the guy loves u or not, if he's rich, just "trap" him. Since every guy is bound to be unfaithful, better to depend on the money than the person. Yeah right..was so convincing that I almost believed it myself! Alas, there are silly girls out there just like me who are sentimental fools. We go for guys who make us lovey dovey, and set our heart beating like there's no tomorrow. So I got asked out by 2 guys whom I am sure are good guys, and definitely guys who could make me a rich enough tai-tai..but darn, I rejected them and I am still whacking myself with a hammer for this! What in my freaking hormones have made me forgotten that MONEY is the all important thing in a man??!!! But heck, I really feel no Uummph for them. So I think I'm really going totally not myself anymore, and I seriously need some counselling.
So then God answered my prayer with a question that I actually asked in one of my earlier posting. Today my pastor spoke those scary words again. WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF LIFE? Aarrrgghhh.....when will we ever stop asking this question I wonder.Well I didn't get the answer from the pastor coz his voice was so soothing that I kinda started daydreaming. Daydreaming is good, coz in a way it's my method of communicating with God. Don't you doubt that because at the end of my daydream, I had another question. Yeah, God seems to like adding questions into my life. Maybe he knows I am bad in mahjong so he tries to "oil" my brains a bit and set the engine running. Anyway, the question is "How do u forgive?". I always thought forgiving was abt accepting a person's wrongdoing towards u. Pretty simple no? But now I know forgive and forget are not 2 words, they must actually come as one in order for true forgiveness to happen. What's the point of forgiving but not forgetting? Remembering something u've forgiven only serves to torture oneself, and end up u're stuck in a rut while the other party happily moves on without a thought for you. Sooo..what am I getting at??!! My brain engine is still trying to digest all this and make some sense out of it. Gulp~~ that's another weird thing. I'm getting slower with my brains!!
COP is just not COP anymore :(
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Merdeka!!
Today is the national independence day of Malaysia. And every Malaysian ..well almost every..is a day of celebration. Some celebrate for the right reasons, while others celebrate it simply because it's a holiday and they don't need to work. For me, it's just any other day. So much for my patriotism huh?
But after a nice relaxing afternoon nap, I took some quiet time to reflect on Malaysia as it is today. And I must say I simply and truly love my country (despite the fact that I disobeyed orders to fly the national flag on my car!). People have often asked me would I be willing to migrate overseas, and in the course of my work I often been offered an opportunity to relocate overseas, but somehow I am unable to explain why when I think of leaving my beloved land, my heart grows heavy. Sure there is a lot of crap in the country, and a lot of complaints, but heck, which country is actually perfect? I don't think even the U of S of A is perfect , is it?
Somehow for a lot of people the grass is always greener on the other side....and a lot somehow think that Malaysia consist only of lalang and cow-grass!! Shame on those of you because we are indeed very fortunate to be living in a land that is generally peaceful and harmonious. People say that it's dangerous in Malaysia, but let's not compare ourselves to the controlled land tht's located south of us. I can still drive around alone in my car in the middle of the night :D
And people complain about the jam and the tolls. They should try going to Bangkok. And I was in Netherlands, and it's jam there too. In fact people actually take 1-2 hours to get to work and they're so used to it that I don't hear them complaining! And don't forget how high their taxes are so that explains why they don't have as much toll roads as us. And the petrol...don't even talk about how expensive fuel is compared to ours!!
What about shopping?!! Do you know how great it is to be able to finish work and yet still be able to go shopping after that? Your night activities are so varied. Now if I were to be stuck in UK, I only have 2 choices - the pub or the telly at home. Shops close by 5 except on Thursday. Imagine if that happens here, we will have plenty of lepak-ing people in the tamans. AND THE MOST important thing about Malaysia compared to any other country in the world. THE FOOD!!! Yummy.....Which other place can u wake up at 3am in the morning and still be able to find a warm nasi lemak or sizzling hot roti canai to eat? WHERE? WHERE?
So guys....no more asking. I love my country. I was born here, I will live here, and I will die here. For my country, I pledge my loyalty. And may God protect and bless this beautiful land I call home.
But after a nice relaxing afternoon nap, I took some quiet time to reflect on Malaysia as it is today. And I must say I simply and truly love my country (despite the fact that I disobeyed orders to fly the national flag on my car!). People have often asked me would I be willing to migrate overseas, and in the course of my work I often been offered an opportunity to relocate overseas, but somehow I am unable to explain why when I think of leaving my beloved land, my heart grows heavy. Sure there is a lot of crap in the country, and a lot of complaints, but heck, which country is actually perfect? I don't think even the U of S of A is perfect , is it?
Somehow for a lot of people the grass is always greener on the other side....and a lot somehow think that Malaysia consist only of lalang and cow-grass!! Shame on those of you because we are indeed very fortunate to be living in a land that is generally peaceful and harmonious. People say that it's dangerous in Malaysia, but let's not compare ourselves to the controlled land tht's located south of us. I can still drive around alone in my car in the middle of the night :D
And people complain about the jam and the tolls. They should try going to Bangkok. And I was in Netherlands, and it's jam there too. In fact people actually take 1-2 hours to get to work and they're so used to it that I don't hear them complaining! And don't forget how high their taxes are so that explains why they don't have as much toll roads as us. And the petrol...don't even talk about how expensive fuel is compared to ours!!
What about shopping?!! Do you know how great it is to be able to finish work and yet still be able to go shopping after that? Your night activities are so varied. Now if I were to be stuck in UK, I only have 2 choices - the pub or the telly at home. Shops close by 5 except on Thursday. Imagine if that happens here, we will have plenty of lepak-ing people in the tamans. AND THE MOST important thing about Malaysia compared to any other country in the world. THE FOOD!!! Yummy.....Which other place can u wake up at 3am in the morning and still be able to find a warm nasi lemak or sizzling hot roti canai to eat? WHERE? WHERE?
So guys....no more asking. I love my country. I was born here, I will live here, and I will die here. For my country, I pledge my loyalty. And may God protect and bless this beautiful land I call home.
Monday, August 29, 2005
Work - Do or Die?
I'm not feeling very happy now. In fact I'm feeling rather tired. Rather pissed. Very irritated. And my whole freaking body is aching. Then I wonder why am I feeling so "out" and it all boils down to a mail I just received. It's a "love letter" from a client. Not so much full of loving words I would say. More like words with nouns like "you must", "I expect you", "give it to me ASAP". All very self-centred words I would say. Usually I would just take this mail and meekly accept it's demand and fulfill its commandments, but today I'm really tired. I just finished a meeting with another customer that ran on and on for almost 10 hours, and then I come home to find this demanding mail. So I cracked. I lost my cool. I did what a customer-oriented personnel should never do - I told the guy to f**k off. *Gasp*
OK...I fantasised that I could tell the customer to go blow his own dick, but I am such a politically correct person most of the time that sometimes I really hate it. So anyway today I just told this nice email writer that I really don't think his demands are logical or fair to me, and that he should really consider getting his head examined if he expected me to do all he asked for free. Just not his luck to catch me on a day when I am having PMS. Yeah...we girls can always blame it on the PMS. "Ooops, sorry, was I rude that day to you? It must have been my PMS" :)
And all will be forgiven......
I know customers always think they are right. When I am a customer I think I am always right too. If I paid for it, you are my slave and you do what I ask you to do. BUT since I always seem to be getting shitty services anyway, guess it's only fair that I provide some shitty services too. I know I know, this should not be the culture. I always try to remind myself that EMOTIONS SHOULD NEVER LEAD BUT FOLLOW INSTEAD. But it sure is tough to follow that rule. Especially when everyone seems to be out to irritate me :( Maybe it's just all in my mind, or maybe my customers should get a day in my shoes for once to know what's it like to feel sooooo trapped within, sooooooo suffocated, soooooooooooooo wanting to escape to a nice island. I pray for release from this cruel world. DO YOU HEAR ME LORD?!! Let me go please .......
COP ranting out some of her frustrations in life :(
OK...I fantasised that I could tell the customer to go blow his own dick, but I am such a politically correct person most of the time that sometimes I really hate it. So anyway today I just told this nice email writer that I really don't think his demands are logical or fair to me, and that he should really consider getting his head examined if he expected me to do all he asked for free. Just not his luck to catch me on a day when I am having PMS. Yeah...we girls can always blame it on the PMS. "Ooops, sorry, was I rude that day to you? It must have been my PMS" :)
And all will be forgiven......
I know customers always think they are right. When I am a customer I think I am always right too. If I paid for it, you are my slave and you do what I ask you to do. BUT since I always seem to be getting shitty services anyway, guess it's only fair that I provide some shitty services too. I know I know, this should not be the culture. I always try to remind myself that EMOTIONS SHOULD NEVER LEAD BUT FOLLOW INSTEAD. But it sure is tough to follow that rule. Especially when everyone seems to be out to irritate me :( Maybe it's just all in my mind, or maybe my customers should get a day in my shoes for once to know what's it like to feel sooooo trapped within, sooooooo suffocated, soooooooooooooo wanting to escape to a nice island. I pray for release from this cruel world. DO YOU HEAR ME LORD?!! Let me go please .......
COP ranting out some of her frustrations in life :(
Monday, August 22, 2005
Passion to RUSH
So finally we arrived at Passion. Expectation was running high since everyone was giving the place such a great review.Well no review is a review if it's not by COP.
The place was pretty small and packed. No interesting guy in sight. More of matured 'uncles' still in their work clothes. Sexy girls?? Come on lar, the sexiest was LL. (*holding my chest as I say this...somehow there is some pain there*). If u're the kind who likes sleeping around (and I mean really sleeping and not the slut kind of sleeping), u're gonna love this place coz it has lotsa soft comfy sofas. Basically there's not much place to move. Just a small little dance floor in front of the deejay. And the music was well..just too trance for most of us. By 12 everyone seemed to be dissapearing and then we discovered why :)
They were addicted to the "drug" downstairs called Poppy. That placed was packed and hot. And I mean HOT coz it's kinda open air and aircond-less. Thankfully my nose was kinda senseless due to the alcohol so I did not have to breathe in those sweaty body smell. Did I say sweaty? I should say wet instead! I was so "fortunate" to bump into some people on the dance floor and feel their skin glide (or stick..eeeww) against mine. The music was pretty good and danceable tracks but overall too crowded for dancing enjoyment coz u're either always hitting someone, or someone is trying to use their bum to shove u off!!! You know lar, I am so light and fragile :D
I really would like to give this place a thumbs up but heck, it can't be that great a place if my 2 male companions actually fell asleep in there (??!!??) And NOOOO, it was not because the rest of us were boring, I think it was more because these 2 guys just gotten too old for the night life? Hmm, can't actually say that coz they were real perky and awake after that when we were having our spicy hot nasi lemak supper. So what gives Sun and Boo? Not enough sexy chicks maybe?
If Poppy was hot, RUSH was like a gathering of rowdy and unpolished people who came from the villages. Sounds too sarcastic and pompous? Well that's actually the nicest way I could put it!!! It must have been the absolutely most horrible club I have ever set foot in. Even the gay club in Central Market was better than this! First of all there was this really boring Miss Malaysia pageant going on that seems to last 4ever and ever. Heck I did not pay good money to sit for hours watching some silly girls parading around. Why did I not leave? Well I'm too cheapskate. I paid my cover charge so have to at least sit few hours to make it worth it. Hahaha. Everyone was practically shouting and begging for music...and nothing can be more pathetic than going to a club with no music. O, the memory of it pains me. Well at least I was slightly entertained by my companion for the night who gotten slightly tipsy and imagined that contestant No.3 was surely gonna follow him home that night. Wake up lar Jeff..u deserve No.7 instead lar. When the darn pageant finally ended and the music came on, there was more torture awaiting. The music was sooo crap and so yesterday that I realy couldn't take it any much longer and walked off. I had to save myself finally. Overall RUSH was a record - worst club and only club where I drank only one glass of alcohol. Hmmm...maybe I was just too sober to enjoy. Well nothing I would miss there...really NOTHING was good.
COP bemoans the death of good quality clubbing scenes...
The place was pretty small and packed. No interesting guy in sight. More of matured 'uncles' still in their work clothes. Sexy girls?? Come on lar, the sexiest was LL. (*holding my chest as I say this...somehow there is some pain there*). If u're the kind who likes sleeping around (and I mean really sleeping and not the slut kind of sleeping), u're gonna love this place coz it has lotsa soft comfy sofas. Basically there's not much place to move. Just a small little dance floor in front of the deejay. And the music was well..just too trance for most of us. By 12 everyone seemed to be dissapearing and then we discovered why :)
They were addicted to the "drug" downstairs called Poppy. That placed was packed and hot. And I mean HOT coz it's kinda open air and aircond-less. Thankfully my nose was kinda senseless due to the alcohol so I did not have to breathe in those sweaty body smell. Did I say sweaty? I should say wet instead! I was so "fortunate" to bump into some people on the dance floor and feel their skin glide (or stick..eeeww) against mine. The music was pretty good and danceable tracks but overall too crowded for dancing enjoyment coz u're either always hitting someone, or someone is trying to use their bum to shove u off!!! You know lar, I am so light and fragile :D
I really would like to give this place a thumbs up but heck, it can't be that great a place if my 2 male companions actually fell asleep in there (??!!??) And NOOOO, it was not because the rest of us were boring, I think it was more because these 2 guys just gotten too old for the night life? Hmm, can't actually say that coz they were real perky and awake after that when we were having our spicy hot nasi lemak supper. So what gives Sun and Boo? Not enough sexy chicks maybe?
If Poppy was hot, RUSH was like a gathering of rowdy and unpolished people who came from the villages. Sounds too sarcastic and pompous? Well that's actually the nicest way I could put it!!! It must have been the absolutely most horrible club I have ever set foot in. Even the gay club in Central Market was better than this! First of all there was this really boring Miss Malaysia pageant going on that seems to last 4ever and ever. Heck I did not pay good money to sit for hours watching some silly girls parading around. Why did I not leave? Well I'm too cheapskate. I paid my cover charge so have to at least sit few hours to make it worth it. Hahaha. Everyone was practically shouting and begging for music...and nothing can be more pathetic than going to a club with no music. O, the memory of it pains me. Well at least I was slightly entertained by my companion for the night who gotten slightly tipsy and imagined that contestant No.3 was surely gonna follow him home that night. Wake up lar Jeff..u deserve No.7 instead lar. When the darn pageant finally ended and the music came on, there was more torture awaiting. The music was sooo crap and so yesterday that I realy couldn't take it any much longer and walked off. I had to save myself finally. Overall RUSH was a record - worst club and only club where I drank only one glass of alcohol. Hmmm...maybe I was just too sober to enjoy. Well nothing I would miss there...really NOTHING was good.
COP bemoans the death of good quality clubbing scenes...
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
A friend or more?
An acquaintance of mine recently asked me this question - do u believe that a guy and a girl can be friend or good friends and not get involved romantically? Good question, but answer is rather unclear. I would say there is no ONE fix answer to this question. Depends on who HE is and who SHE is. As we all know, love can happen in a funny and unexpected way sometimes. Like for example today I may think Mr. A is friend material, but another day Mr. A might blossom into a "driver" material. Hahaha...for those who don't know me, my expectation of a bf is very simple. He has to be my driver. So I always refer to a bf as a driver. (at least that makes him useful in some way)
But back to that question. After thinking about it, I realised what the heck, most of my friends are guys! So now I am wondering do guys see me as a guy instead of a girl!!!! Maybe that's why some guys can't tell when I actually do like them romantically. Coz they think I am only a guy. O ya...Paul and I have a question. Does guy who had sex change operations (and at the same time retain their malehood) get to have sex with themselves? That would be pretty convenient, wouldn't it? Like the snails or was that the earthworm?
Aargh, I diverted again! So anyway, I think there are no reasons why a guy and a girl can't maintain a nice clean platonic friendship. In fact from personal opinion, sometimes I find you can talk to a guy more openly about a lot of nonsense things without them shrinking back and gasping in shock at u. And I think vice versa, guys enjoy a woman's opinions to things that happen in their life especially when seeking advice on how to chase some chick or how to make their gf fall hopelessly for them. I actually learn a lot from my male friends which I am sure none of my female friends would have been able to teach me. Like what kind of bra strap looks yucky. Or what kind of underwear (or none) looks sexy under a white pants. Hahaha..in fact today I even learn that guys prefer the girls not to move when having sex :-p Don't ask me why am I learning this (*angelic smile*) I only absorb information passed on to me :)
My conclusion as I told this nice male acquaintance of mine that asked me the Q, is that from the beginning of a friendship, it is best to specify that you will not be interested to have any kind of relationship with that person besides friendship only. Actually I never do that. But someone did it to me and I learnt from it. Ah...another thing I learnt from a guy :)
But what the heck! U can't stop someone from developing feelings for you right? We all just got to learn to be big adults and deal with it as it comes along. Think out of the box, and open your door to all possibilities :)
Have a happy PEAK ghost festival folks! (23 minutes more as I am writing this) Those who wanna go ghost hunting are invited to join me and MC on our ghost watching feat on Saturday :D Remember......think out of the box!!!!!
COP returns to blogging.......
But back to that question. After thinking about it, I realised what the heck, most of my friends are guys! So now I am wondering do guys see me as a guy instead of a girl!!!! Maybe that's why some guys can't tell when I actually do like them romantically. Coz they think I am only a guy. O ya...Paul and I have a question. Does guy who had sex change operations (and at the same time retain their malehood) get to have sex with themselves? That would be pretty convenient, wouldn't it? Like the snails or was that the earthworm?
Aargh, I diverted again! So anyway, I think there are no reasons why a guy and a girl can't maintain a nice clean platonic friendship. In fact from personal opinion, sometimes I find you can talk to a guy more openly about a lot of nonsense things without them shrinking back and gasping in shock at u. And I think vice versa, guys enjoy a woman's opinions to things that happen in their life especially when seeking advice on how to chase some chick or how to make their gf fall hopelessly for them. I actually learn a lot from my male friends which I am sure none of my female friends would have been able to teach me. Like what kind of bra strap looks yucky. Or what kind of underwear (or none) looks sexy under a white pants. Hahaha..in fact today I even learn that guys prefer the girls not to move when having sex :-p Don't ask me why am I learning this (*angelic smile*) I only absorb information passed on to me :)
My conclusion as I told this nice male acquaintance of mine that asked me the Q, is that from the beginning of a friendship, it is best to specify that you will not be interested to have any kind of relationship with that person besides friendship only. Actually I never do that. But someone did it to me and I learnt from it. Ah...another thing I learnt from a guy :)
But what the heck! U can't stop someone from developing feelings for you right? We all just got to learn to be big adults and deal with it as it comes along. Think out of the box, and open your door to all possibilities :)
Have a happy PEAK ghost festival folks! (23 minutes more as I am writing this) Those who wanna go ghost hunting are invited to join me and MC on our ghost watching feat on Saturday :D Remember......think out of the box!!!!!
COP returns to blogging.......
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Salute to over 30s women
This is a really good article that I read and totally loved ..........
This was written by Andy Rooney from CBS 60 Minutes. Andy Rooney says:
As I grow in age, I value women who are over 30 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:
A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think. If a woman over 30 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something more interesting.
A woman over 30 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 30 give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing. Women over 30 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.
Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.
A woman over 30 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Women over 30 couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her.
Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 30. They always know.
A woman over 30 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women.
Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 30 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.
Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one! You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.
Yes, we praise women over 30 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 30+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.
For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free". Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage!
This was written by Andy Rooney from CBS 60 Minutes. Andy Rooney says:
As I grow in age, I value women who are over 30 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:
A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think. If a woman over 30 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something more interesting.
A woman over 30 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 30 give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing. Women over 30 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.
Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.
A woman over 30 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Women over 30 couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her.
Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 30. They always know.
A woman over 30 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women.
Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 30 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.
Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one! You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.
Yes, we praise women over 30 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 30+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.
For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free". Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage!
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Behind Hazy Eyes
I wonder how picky this world has gotten. Why is it that organisations are crying for people to volunteer their time but when someone actually does it, they don't bother to reply to it?! Remember my "purpose of life" article? After writing that, I sent an application to volunteer at
the SPCA (society for prevention to animal) coz animals welfare is an issue that is very close to my heart and I believe tht is truly something I would enjoy doing. But aiyooooo....my sincere heart has not been acknowledge *dying of a broken heart now* Guess my next step is to volunteer myself to the zoo. Read yesterday in the newspaper how a volunteer has to start by cleaning chimpanzee's shit and slowly graduate to handling animals like Orang Utan. Sounds fair enough to me, so hopefully this intention to do good will be reciprocated this time !!!! Else I think I have to concentrate on taking care of human "animals" called kids!!! *can already feel a migraine coming on!*
Btw, what's with the haze nowadays? Everyday I look out my office window, I kinda forget and think I'm in Genting except Genting does not smell burnt. Told Paul the weather actually reminds me of Holland during our visit there on Christmas. All dark and gloomy looking. Seems everyone's mood in the office changes according to weather too. All pessimistic, all unconvinced and all sleepy head. I don't like the haze at all. No more jogging, no more swimming. Which means NO MORE FIT BODY. Was thinking about joining the gym until I heard some too interesting stories from 2 guys who frequent the gym. 1st guy tells me he has really good body(Well can't comment coz I have not actually seen his naked body but can only imagine it must be good !). Anyway, seems the gym are filled with gay guys and they really fit my idea of gay men. Muscular bodies, leng chai and smart looking. What a shame indeed. Imagine going to the gym and meeting some drop dead gorgeous guy u wanna hit on..keep hitting and hitting...why no result?!! Turns out the bugger is a real bugger who prefers to play the backside. Wasted effort..hai~~ So anyway, this poor friend of mine had to stop going to a particular branch of this gym coz gay guys kept hitting on him and one even stalked him to his car! Gulp~~~ Must give them 10 points for passionate and directness. The 2nd guy, he tells me when he is at the gym, he is always observing gals' bust. Now I give this guy 100 points for hamsap-ness! So with all these weirdos at the gym, I have second thoughts about even stepping foot into one.
Talking abt hamsap guy, our Paulie is one hamsap fella too. Told him I wanted lots of bra shopping in Bangkok and this so called Angelic guy says he will help me to see if it's fitting. Aiyo...now I worry if I picked the right company to go Bangkok with!! And Jay..thinking he would be good boy turns out to be secretly practising chicken styles - well at least me and Paulie thinks so since he's been MIA for a few days now. Don't kill us Jay!!! We always have wild thoughts :D Think i gotta bring a leash along and tie these 2 guys up when we go to Patpong else don't know what disease they bring back with them. O yeah, Patpong has a nice club call THE BED. The sound of it is already tempting enough yeah? ;) Paul was very attracted to the description of "skimpily dressed waitress". Ooo lalaaa..
And since we are on subject of skimpily dressed women, this Friday is gonna be good coz LL is going to display to us her skimpily dressed body. *Wolf whistle!!* Seems our missy says her body has become thin and sexy, and now's the time for her to show off her assets. Hmmmm...u better not let me down miss LL. I salute ur courage. As for me, I still believe I am fat so I think I better not make anyone puke on the dance floor.But let's hope it's gonna be a fun night. Me and LL agreed that it's probably gonna be our last night of clubbing together since it seems so extremely difficult to get people to even come clubbing with us. And I think after this night, our body gonna continue balloning up the weighting scales. Yes LL, admit it...we're never gonna get to our 47 and 48kg. Anyway it's an unhealthy weight for us. We look perfectly fine the way we are now. Good friends compliment each other, right? :D
COP says CHEERS to our last night of clubbing and entry into "responsible" adulthood...*pls note..this is not a guarantee,I am always allowed to go back on my words*
the SPCA (society for prevention to animal) coz animals welfare is an issue that is very close to my heart and I believe tht is truly something I would enjoy doing. But aiyooooo....my sincere heart has not been acknowledge *dying of a broken heart now* Guess my next step is to volunteer myself to the zoo. Read yesterday in the newspaper how a volunteer has to start by cleaning chimpanzee's shit and slowly graduate to handling animals like Orang Utan. Sounds fair enough to me, so hopefully this intention to do good will be reciprocated this time !!!! Else I think I have to concentrate on taking care of human "animals" called kids!!! *can already feel a migraine coming on!*
Btw, what's with the haze nowadays? Everyday I look out my office window, I kinda forget and think I'm in Genting except Genting does not smell burnt. Told Paul the weather actually reminds me of Holland during our visit there on Christmas. All dark and gloomy looking. Seems everyone's mood in the office changes according to weather too. All pessimistic, all unconvinced and all sleepy head. I don't like the haze at all. No more jogging, no more swimming. Which means NO MORE FIT BODY. Was thinking about joining the gym until I heard some too interesting stories from 2 guys who frequent the gym. 1st guy tells me he has really good body(Well can't comment coz I have not actually seen his naked body but can only imagine it must be good !). Anyway, seems the gym are filled with gay guys and they really fit my idea of gay men. Muscular bodies, leng chai and smart looking. What a shame indeed. Imagine going to the gym and meeting some drop dead gorgeous guy u wanna hit on..keep hitting and hitting...why no result?!! Turns out the bugger is a real bugger who prefers to play the backside. Wasted effort..hai~~ So anyway, this poor friend of mine had to stop going to a particular branch of this gym coz gay guys kept hitting on him and one even stalked him to his car! Gulp~~~ Must give them 10 points for passionate and directness. The 2nd guy, he tells me when he is at the gym, he is always observing gals' bust. Now I give this guy 100 points for hamsap-ness! So with all these weirdos at the gym, I have second thoughts about even stepping foot into one.
Talking abt hamsap guy, our Paulie is one hamsap fella too. Told him I wanted lots of bra shopping in Bangkok and this so called Angelic guy says he will help me to see if it's fitting. Aiyo...now I worry if I picked the right company to go Bangkok with!! And Jay..thinking he would be good boy turns out to be secretly practising chicken styles - well at least me and Paulie thinks so since he's been MIA for a few days now. Don't kill us Jay!!! We always have wild thoughts :D Think i gotta bring a leash along and tie these 2 guys up when we go to Patpong else don't know what disease they bring back with them. O yeah, Patpong has a nice club call THE BED. The sound of it is already tempting enough yeah? ;) Paul was very attracted to the description of "skimpily dressed waitress". Ooo lalaaa..
And since we are on subject of skimpily dressed women, this Friday is gonna be good coz LL is going to display to us her skimpily dressed body. *Wolf whistle!!* Seems our missy says her body has become thin and sexy, and now's the time for her to show off her assets. Hmmmm...u better not let me down miss LL. I salute ur courage. As for me, I still believe I am fat so I think I better not make anyone puke on the dance floor.But let's hope it's gonna be a fun night. Me and LL agreed that it's probably gonna be our last night of clubbing together since it seems so extremely difficult to get people to even come clubbing with us. And I think after this night, our body gonna continue balloning up the weighting scales. Yes LL, admit it...we're never gonna get to our 47 and 48kg. Anyway it's an unhealthy weight for us. We look perfectly fine the way we are now. Good friends compliment each other, right? :D
COP says CHEERS to our last night of clubbing and entry into "responsible" adulthood...*pls note..this is not a guarantee,I am always allowed to go back on my words*
Sunday, August 07, 2005
Ghost and Itchy Man
It’s the 7th month of the Chinese calendar, and it is believed that during this month the Gates of Hell opens and spirits set free to roam the earth. Barely a day after the gates were opened that I encountered the worst spirit that could ever roam the earth. It is called GHOST OF THE PAST. Even a real ghost wouldn’t have such a shocking effect I think. There I was happily window shopping when at the turn of my head I came face to face with the “ghost” – my ex. Why is this world really so small ?!!?! Unexpected encounter with a spirit of the nether world is always a frightening experience, but to meet a ghost of this world is well...what can I say – damn? Suddenly all the things I pushed behind my mind, things time had worked hard on healing came flooding back, and once again I am stuck with the question - is it love or denial?
Think it would be best for me to listen to MC’s advice and be a good “tiger” this year. Seems according to Feng shui, the “tiger” female faces a lot of challenges and obstacles in matters of love this year. So guess it’s best to concentrate on my career. Btw tiger males don’t worry, this is the year when u gain a lot of “tou far” or what I would call “good mating year”. Hahaha.
This reminds me about the debate that is currently going on in our Malaysian parliament. Sometimes I wonder why I am paying these people so much of my hard earned money. Would be worth it if they were busy discussing about economic health and ways of improving development of the country, BUT seems matters of the 3Ts are more important to our MPs. What is 3Ts u ask? It stands for “Teringin Tapi Takut” which literally translated means “Interested But Scared”. According to some MP, most men have desire to have more than 1 wife, but many do not fulfill this desire because of the law or their fear of being unable to handle/ balance more than 1 wife. My gosh, I have no doubt about this statement at all judging from the way men ogle at every pretty thing that cross their path, and how there are so many women out there who don’t seem to value the meaning of “sisterhood” and goes off to snare the heart of married men. I wouldn’t point my fingers at these women and call them slut coz sometimes it’s really not their fault 100%. I personally have been enamored by a married man before…until I found out he was married that is. This kind of men are “itchy” and come out to con innocent, naïve, sweet little girls like me by pretending to be smart successful and highly eligible bachelor. Well of course the girl gotta be smart too and open up her “antenna” to detect infidelity. But that being said, I think it would also be fair to say that most women would also not mind having more than 1 husband especially if 1 could provide the money, another the looks and one more the love. You see, it’s rare for 1 guy to come with all the qualities together ;)
Btw, I got asked that frustrating a**hole question again today by an old housemate. When are you getting married? The moment I heard that I almost pounce on him with my tiger claws and scratch his mouth out :-P LL will understand why my reaction is so over dramatic. So don’t any of you dare ask me this stupid irritating question again unless you don’t value your mouth!!!! Don’t ask me, I will tell you.
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
One night in Bangkok
Planning the bangkok trip makes me remember a song I used to hear when i was young. Goes something like "one night in bangkok makes a rich man humble". What does that actually mean? Or was it "one night in bangkok makes a rich man stumble"? Duh, memory sure is failing me. Think the "stumble" more likely from over-exhaustion due to whole night of "exercise".
Anyway, the planning details of a trip can get really frustrating at times when you need to coordinate among many people. Daily workload is stressful enough, and then add that with indecisive people and air ticket price that seems to cost a bomb. Btw, people take note that advertisement that states something like "from RM239" - DO NOT BE CHEATED. These bugger agents are actually quoting the minimum Air Asia rate. They might as well have put in "from 1.99"
So most of us who are confirmed to go are pretty excited about what we're gonna do there. Paul has promised us plenty of good clean(?) fun. Let's see, there'll be temples and markets and shopping. Yeah!! Shopping for more bras :D Of course someone called jay also mentioned something like bangkok isn't bangkok if there's no visit to the gogo bars. Yaya, I can almost hear him shouting that I am framing him :-p Heck Jay, u're purposely arriving 3 days earlier than the rest of us. What do u think I think u are doing there?? *block ur killer stare!*
Well honestly I am also excited to have a look at these go-go bars, and duck shops and toy shop?? Is that right paul? Toy boy shop? Well something not so "angelic" sounding I'm sure. But I'm a bit worried actually. Coz my presence might be a hindrance to the guys in the group to go "hunting". Btw, once again remind you guys - hotel booking terms and condition states NO sex allowed in rooms. So please do your businesses in the corridors and lobby ...kekeke..
For those of u not going, u're definitely gonna miss out on the FUN FUN FUN. 1st of all, u're gonna miss seeing our future Paul Sou. 2ndly the cheap shopping...bra bra bra and more bras. Well maybe some dried mangoes too. 3rdly u'll get to see a city much more congested that our dear KL and therefore learn to appreciate our traffics better. 4thly sooo many pretty girls. Hmm...dun know what 5thly will be. A holiday break maybe? I sure as hell need that one!
COP dreaming endlessly of BKK.....
Anyway, the planning details of a trip can get really frustrating at times when you need to coordinate among many people. Daily workload is stressful enough, and then add that with indecisive people and air ticket price that seems to cost a bomb. Btw, people take note that advertisement that states something like "from RM239" - DO NOT BE CHEATED. These bugger agents are actually quoting the minimum Air Asia rate. They might as well have put in "from 1.99"
So most of us who are confirmed to go are pretty excited about what we're gonna do there. Paul has promised us plenty of good clean(?) fun. Let's see, there'll be temples and markets and shopping. Yeah!! Shopping for more bras :D Of course someone called jay also mentioned something like bangkok isn't bangkok if there's no visit to the gogo bars. Yaya, I can almost hear him shouting that I am framing him :-p Heck Jay, u're purposely arriving 3 days earlier than the rest of us. What do u think I think u are doing there?? *block ur killer stare!*
Well honestly I am also excited to have a look at these go-go bars, and duck shops and toy shop?? Is that right paul? Toy boy shop? Well something not so "angelic" sounding I'm sure. But I'm a bit worried actually. Coz my presence might be a hindrance to the guys in the group to go "hunting". Btw, once again remind you guys - hotel booking terms and condition states NO sex allowed in rooms. So please do your businesses in the corridors and lobby ...kekeke..
For those of u not going, u're definitely gonna miss out on the FUN FUN FUN. 1st of all, u're gonna miss seeing our future Paul Sou. 2ndly the cheap shopping...bra bra bra and more bras. Well maybe some dried mangoes too. 3rdly u'll get to see a city much more congested that our dear KL and therefore learn to appreciate our traffics better. 4thly sooo many pretty girls. Hmm...dun know what 5thly will be. A holiday break maybe? I sure as hell need that one!
COP dreaming endlessly of BKK.....
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